§41edictis tandem Vindicis contumeliosis et frequentibus permotus senatum epistula in ultionem sui reique publicae adhortatus est, excusato languore faucium, propter quem non adesset.
Moved at last by the frequent and insulting edicts of Vindex, he urged the senate by letter to avenge him and the commonwealth, excusing himself for not being present on account of a sore throat.
nihil autem aeque doluit, quam ut malum se citharoedum increpitum ac pro Nerone Ahenobarbum appellatum; et nomen quidem gentile, quod sibi per contumeliam exprobraretur, resumpturum se professus est deposito adoptiuo, cetera conuicia, ut falsa, non alio argumento refellebat, quam quod etiam inscitia sibi tanto opere elaboratae perfectaeque a se artis obiceretur, singulos subinde rogitans,
"nossentne quemquam praestantiorem.
But nothing pained him so much as that he was abused as a bad cithara-player and called Ahenobarbus instead of Nero; and indeed he declared that he would resume his family name, which was cast in his teeth as an insult, laying aside his adoptive name, while he refuted the other insults as false by no other argument than that he was even charged with ignorance of an art which he had laboured at so hard and brought to such perfection, asking individuals from time to time whether they knew anyone more excellent.
"
sed urgentibus aliis super alios nuntiis Romam praetrepidus rediit; leuiterque modo in itinere friuolo auspicio mente recreata, cum adnotasset insculptum monumento militem Gallum ab equite R. oppressum trahi crinibus, ad eam speciem exiluit gaudio caelumque adorauit.
But as messages pressed hard upon one another, he returned to Rome in a great panic; and his mind was only slightly cheered on the journey by a trifling omen, when he noticed engraved on a monument a Gallic soldier overthrown by a Roman knight and dragged by the hair, at which sight he leaped for joy and worshipped heaven.
ac ne tunc quidem aut senatu aut populo coram appellato quosdam e primoribus uiris domum euocauit transactaque raptim consultatione reliquam diei partem per organa hydraulica noui et ignoti generis circumduxit, ostendensque singula, de ratione ac difficultate cuiusque disserens,
"iam se etiam prolaturum omnia in theatrum"
affirmauit,
"si per Vindicem liceat. " §42Postquam deinde etiam Galbam et Hispanias desciuisse cognouit, conlapsus animoque male facto diu sine uoce et prope intermortuus iacuit, utque resipiit, ueste discissa, capite conuerberato, actum de se pronuntiauit consolantique nutriculae et aliis quoque iam principibus similia accidisse memoranti,
"se uero praeter ceteros inaudita et incognita pati respondit, qui summum imperium uiuus amitteret.
And not even then did he address the senate or the people in person, but summoned some of the leading men to his house, and having quickly finished the consultation, he led them during the rest of the day around water-organs of a new and unknown kind, exhibiting each of them and discoursing on the principle and difficulty of each, affirming that he would soon produce them all in the theatre, "if Vindex would allow it." When he afterwards learned that Galba also and the Spanish provinces had revolted, he collapsed and, his spirit failing him, lay for a long time without a word and almost dead; and as he came to himself, tearing his robe and striking his head, he declared that it was all over with him. And to his nurse, who was consoling him and reminding him that similar things had happened to other emperors before, he replied that he indeed suffered things unheard of and unknown beyond all others, in that he lost the supreme power while still alive.
"
nec eo setius quicquam ex consuetudine luxus atque desidiae omisit uel inminuit; quin immo, cum prosperi quiddam ex prouinciis nuntiatum esset, super abundantissimam cenam iocularia in defectionis duces carmina lasciueque modulata, quae uulgo notuerunt, etiam gesticulatus est; ac spectaculis theatri clam inlatus cuidam scaenico placenti nuntium misit abuti eum occupationibus suis.
Nor did he nonetheless omit or diminish anything of his customary luxury and laziness; nay, when some good news was reported from the provinces, at an extremely sumptuous dinner, he even accompanied with gestures some light-hearted and wanton songs about the leaders of the revolt, which became commonly known; and having secretly entered the theatre during the spectacles, he sent word to a certain actor who was pleasing the audience that he was taking advantage of his busy times.
§43Initio statim tumultus multa et inmania, uerum non abhorrentia a natura sua creditur destinasse: successores percussoresque summittere exercitus et prouincias regentibus, quasi conspiratis idemque et unum sentientibus; quidquid ubique exulum, quidquid in urbe hominum Gallicanorum esset contrucidare, illos ne desciscentibus adgregarentur, hos ut conscios popularium suorum atque fautores; Gallias exercitibus diripiendas permittere; senatum uniuersum ueneno per conuiuia necare; urbem incendere feris in populum immissis, quo difficilius defenderentur.
At the very beginning of the tumult, he is believed to have planned many monstrous things, which however were not inconsistent with his nature: to send successors and assassins to those who governed the armies and provinces, as if they had conspired and were of one and the same mind; to slaughter all exiles everywhere and all persons of Gallic origin in the city, the former lest they should join the rebels, the latter as accomplices and supporters of their countrymen; to abandon the Gallic provinces to be plundered by the armies; to kill the entire senate with poison at banquets; to set fire to the city, letting loose wild beasts upon the people, so that they might defend themselves with greater difficulty.
sed absterritus non tam paenitentia quam perficiendi desperatione credensque expeditionem necessariam, consules ante tempus priuauit honore atque in utriusque locum solus iniit consulatum, quasi fatale esset non posse Gallias debellari nisi a consule.
But deterred not so much by repentance as by despair of accomplishing these things, and believing an expedition to be necessary, he deprived the consuls of their office before their time, and entered upon the consulship alone in place of both, as if it were fated that the Gallic provinces could not be subdued except by a consul.
ac susceptis fascibus cum post epulas triclinio digrederetur, innixus umeris familiarium affirmauit,
"simul ac primum prouinciam attigisset, inermem se in conspectum exercituum proditurum nec quicquam aliud quam fleturum, reuocatisque ad paenitentiam defectoribus insequenti die laetum inter laetos cantaturum epinicia, quae iam nunc sibi componi oporteret. "
And having assumed the fasces, as he was leaving the dining-room after a banquet, leaning on the shoulders of his intimates, he declared that as soon as he touched the province, he would show himself unarmed to the armies and do nothing but weep; and having recalled the rebels to repentance, on the following day he would joyfully sing triumphal songs among joyful men, which ought to be composed for him even now.
§44In praeparanda expeditione primam curam habuit deligendi uehicula portandis scaenicis organis concubinasque, quas secum educeret, tondendi ad uirilem modum et securibus peltisque Amazonicis instruendi.
In preparing the expedition, his first care was to select carriages for carrying his theatrical instruments, and to have the concubines whom he was to take with him shorn in the manner of men and equipped with Amazonian axes and shields.
mox tribus urbanas ad sacramentum citauit ac nullo idoneo respondente certum dominis seruorum numerum indixit; nec nisi ex tota cuiusque familia probatissimos, ne dispensatoribus quidem aut amanuensibus exceptis, recepit.
Soon he summoned the city tribes to take the military oath, and since no suitable person responded, he imposed a fixed number of slaves upon their masters; and he accepted none but the most approved from each household, not even excepting stewards or secretaries.
partem etiam census omnes ordines conferre iussit et insuper inquilinos priuatarum aedium atque insularum pensionem annuam repraesentare fisco; exegitque ingenti fastidio et acerbitate nummum asperum, argentum pustulatum, aurum ad obrussam, ut plerique omnem collationem palam recusarent, consensu flagitantes a delatoribus potius reuocanda praemia quaecumque cepissent.
He also ordered all classes to contribute a part of their property, and furthermore, that tenants of private houses and of insulae should pay a year's rent to the treasury beforehand; and he exacted this with huge distaste and severity, demanding newly minted coin, refined silver, and assayed gold, so that most people openly refused any contribution, demanding by general consensus that the rewards, whatever they had received, should rather be recovered from the informers.