§49aditus ergo in itinere a legatis amplissimi ordinis ut maturaret orantibus, quam maxima uoce: 'ueniam,' inquit, 'ueniam, et hic mecum,' capulum gladii crebro uerberans, quo cinctus erat.
Therefore, when he was approached on his journey by envoys of the most distinguished order begging him to hasten, he said with the loudest possible voice, "I am coming, I am coming, and this with me," repeatedly striking the hilt of the sword with which he was girded.
edixit et reuerti se, sed iis tantum qui optarent, equestri ordini et populo; nam se neque ciuem neque principem senatui amplius fore.
He also decreed that he was returning only to those who wished it, namely the equestrian order and the people; for to the senate he would no longer be either a citizen or a princeps.
uetuit etiam quemquam senatorum sibi occurrere.
He also forbade any of the senators to come to meet him.
atque omisso uel dilato triumpho ouans urbem natali suo ingressus est; intraque quartum mensem periit, ingentia facinora ausus et aliquanto maiora moliens, siquidem proposuerat Antium, deinde Alexandream commigrare interempto prius utriusque ordinis electissimo quoque.
And omitting or postponing his triumph, he entered the city in an ovation on his birthday; and within the fourth month he perished, having dared immense crimes and plotting even greater ones, since he had planned to move first to Antium and then to Alexandria, after first murdering the most select of both orders.
quod ne cui dubium uideatur, in secretis eius reperti sunt duo libelli diuerso titulo, alteri 'gladius,' alteri 'pugio' index erat; ambo nomina et notas continebant morti destinatorum.
Lest this should seem doubtful to anyone, two small notebooks were found among his secret papers with different titles, one having the index "Sword," the other "Dagger"; both contained the names and marks of those destined for death.
inuenta et arca ingens uariorum uenenorum plena, quibus mox a Claudio demersis infecta maria traduntur non sine piscium exitio, quos enectos aestus in proxima litora eiecit.
A huge chest was also found full of various poisons, which, being later thrown into the sea by Claudius, are said to have infected the waters not without the destruction of the fish, which were killed and cast up by the tide upon the neighboring shores.
§50Statura fuit eminenti, colore expallido, corpore enormi, gracilitate maxima ceruicis et crurum, oculis et temporibus concauis, fronte lata et torua, capillo raro at circa uerticem nullo, hirsutus cetera.
He was of tall stature, of extremely pale complexion, with an misshapen body, with the greatest thinness of neck and legs, with sunken eyes and temples, with a broad and grim forehead, with thin hair and none at all around the crown, but hairy elsewhere.
quare transeunte eo prospicere ex superiore parte aut omnino quacumque de causa capram nominare, criminosum et exitiale habebatur.
For this reason, looking down from a higher place when he was passing by, or mentioning a goat for any reason whatsoever, was considered a capital crime and fatal.
uultum uero natura horridum ac taetrum etiam ex industria efferabat componens ad speculum in omnem terrorem ac formidinem.
He also intentionally exaggerated his face, which was naturally terrifying and hideous, composing it before a mirror to produce every kind of terror and dread.
Valitudo ei neque corporis neque animi constitit.
His health, both of body and mind, was not stable.
puer comitiali morbo uexatus, in adulescentia ita patiens laborum erat, ut tamen nonnumquam subita defectione ingredi, stare, colligere semet ac sufferre uix posset.
As a boy, he was troubled with epilepsy, and in his youth he was capable of enduring labor, yet so that sometimes from a sudden collapse he could scarcely walk, stand, collect himself, or support himself.
mentis ualitudinem et ipse senserat ac subinde de secessu deque purgando cerebro cogitauit.
He himself had also perceived his mental illness, and from time to time thought of retirement and of purging his brain.
creditur potionatus a Caesonia uxore amatorio quidem medicamento, sed quod in furorem uerterit.
He is believed to have been poisoned by his wife Caesonia with a love potion indeed, but one which turned into madness.
incitabatur insomnio maxime; neque enim plus quam tribus nocturnis horis quiescebat ac ne iis quidem placida quiete, sed pauida miris rerum imaginibus, ut qui inter ceteras pelagi quondam speciem conloquentem secum uidere uisus sit.
He was especially excited by sleeplessness; for he did not rest for more than three hours of the night, and not even those with peaceful quiet, but terrified by strange images of things, as one who once seemed to see the image of the Ocean talking with him among other things.
ideoque magna parte noctis uigiliae cubandique taedio nunc toro residens, nunc per longissimas porticus uagus inuocare identidem atque expectare lucem consuerat.
And therefore, for a great part of the night, from sleeplessness and weariness of lying down, now sitting on his bed, now wandering through the very long porticos, he was accustomed repeatedly to call for and wait for the light.
§51Non inmerito mentis ualitudini attribuerim diuersissima in eodem uitia, summam confidentiam et contra nimium metum.
Not without reason would I attribute to his mental illness the most diverse vices in the same person: the greatest confidence and, on the contrary, excessive fear.
nam qui deos tanto opere contemneret, ad minima tonitrua et fulgura coniuere, caput obuoluere, at uero maiore proripere se e strato sub lectumque condere solebat.
For he who despised the gods to such a degree was accustomed at the slightest thunder and lightning to close his eyes, to cover his head, and indeed, if it became greater, to rush from his bed and hide under the couch.
peregrinatione quidem Siciliensi irrisis multum locorum miraculis repente a Messana noctu profugit Aetnaei uerticis fumo ac murmure pauefactus.
In his Sicilian journey, indeed, having much ridiculed the wonders of the places, he suddenly fled from Messana by night, terrified by the smoke and rumbling of the peak of Etna.
aduersus barbaros quoque minacissimus, cum trans Rhenum inter angustias densumque agmen iter essedo faceret, dicente quodam non mediocrem fore consternationem sicunde hostis appareat, equum ilico conscendit ac propere reuersus ad pontes, ut eos calonibus et impedimentis stipatos repperit, impatiens morae per manus ac super capita hominum translatus est.
He was also extremely threatening against the barbarians, but when he was traveling in a carriage beyond the Rhine through narrow passes and in a dense column, and someone remarked that there would be no small consternation if the enemy should appear from anywhere, he immediately mounted a horse and quickly returned to the bridges; and finding them crowded with camp-followers and baggage, impatient of delay, he was carried over the heads and through the hands of the men.
mox etiam audita rebellione Germaniae fugam et subsidia fugae classes apparabat, uno solacio adquiescens transmarinas certe sibi superfuturas prouincias, si uictores Alpium iuga, ut Cimbri, uel etiam urbem, ut Senones quondam, occuparent; unde credo percussoribus eius postea consilium natum apud tumultuantes milites ementiendi, ipsum sibi manus intulisse nuntio malae pugnae perterritum.
Soon after, even hearing of the rebellion of Germany, he was preparing flight and fleets for flight, acquiescing in this sole consolation, that at least the overseas provinces would remain to him if the victors should occupy the ridges of the Alps, like the Cimbri, or even the city, like the Senones of old; whence I believe the design was later born in his assassins to fabricate a rumor among the excited soldiers that he had laid hands on himself, terrified by the news of a defeat.
§52Vestitu calciatuque et cetero habitu neque patrio neque ciuili, ac ne uirili quidem ac denique humano semper usus est.
In his clothing, footwear, and the rest of his attire, he always used what was neither ancestral nor civic, nor even manly, and finally not even human.
saepe depictas gemmatasque indutus paenulas, manuleatus et armillatus in publicum processit; aliquando sericatus et cycladatus; ac modo in crepidis uel coturnis, modo in speculatoria caliga, nonnumquam socco muliebri; plerumque uero aurea barba, fulmen tenens aut fuscinam aut caduceum deorum insignia, atque etiam Veneris cultu conspectus est.
Often dressed in embroidered and jeweled cloaks, he went out in public with long sleeves and bracelets; sometimes in silk and a cyclas; and now in sandals or buskins, now in a scout's boot, sometimes in a woman's shoe; and for the most part with a golden beard, holding a thunderbolt or a trident or a caduceus, the insignia of the gods, and he was even seen in the attire of Venus.
triumphalem quidem ornatum etiam ante expeditionem assidue gestauit, interdum et Magni Alexandri thoracem repetitum e conditorio eius.
He constantly wore the triumphal ornament even before his expedition, and sometimes also the breastplate of Alexander the Great, taken from his tomb.