§22Hactenus quasi de principe, reliqua ut de monstro narranda sunt.
Thus far as if of an emperor; the rest must be told as if of a monster.
Compluribus cognominibus adsumptis—nam et 'pius' et 'castrorum filius' et 'pater exercituum' et 'optimus maximus Caesar' uocabatur—cum audiret forte reges, qui officii causa in urbem aduenerant, concertantis apud se super cenam de nobilitate generis, exclamauit:
εἷσ κοίρανοσ ἔστω, εἷσ βασιλεύς. nec multum afuit quin statim diadema sumeret speciemque principatus in regni formam conuerteret.
Having assumed several surnames—for he was called both "pious" and "son of the camp" and "father of the armies" and "greatest and best Caesar"—when he happened to hear certain kings, who had come to the city for the purpose of paying respects, disputing among themselves at supper regarding the nobility of their descent, he cried out: "Let there be one ruler, one king." And it was not far from happening that he immediately assumed the diadem and converted the appearance of the principate into the form of a kingdom.
uerum admonitus et principum et regum se excessisse fastigium, diuinam ex eo maiestatem asserere sibi coepit; datoque negotio, ut simulacra numinum religione et arte praeclara, inter quae Olympii Iouis, apportarentur e Graecia, quibus capite dempto suum imponeret, partem Palatii ad forum usque promouit, atque aede Castoris et Pollucis in uestibulum transfigurata, consistens saepe inter fratres deos, medium adorandum se adeuntibus exhibebat; et quidam eum Latiarem Iouem consalutarunt.
But being reminded that he had gone beyond the height both of princes and of kings, he began from that time to arrogate divine majesty to himself; and having given orders that the statues of the gods, illustrious for sanctity and art, among which was that of Olympic Jupiter, should be brought from Greece, that he might place his own head upon them after their heads had been removed, he extended a part of the Palatium as far as the forum, and having transformed the temple of Castor and Pollux into a vestibule, standing often between the brother gods, he exhibited himself in the middle to be adored by those who approached; and some saluted him as Latian Jupiter.
templum etiam numini suo proprium et sacerdotes et excogitatissimas hostias instituit.
He also established a temple proper to his own divinity, with priests and the most exquisite victims.
in templo simulacrum stabat aureum iconicum amiciebaturque cotidie ueste, quali ipse uteretur.
In the temple stood a golden life-sized statue, and it was clothed daily with such garments as he himself wore.
magisteria sacerdotii ditissimus quisque et ambitione et licitatione maxima uicibus comparabant.
The richest persons, with the greatest ambition and bidding, competed in turn to purchase the office of the priesthood.
hostiae erant phoenicopteri, pauones, tetraones, numidicae, meleagrides, phasianae, quae generatim per singulos dies immolarentur.
The victims were flamingoes, peacocks, capercaillies, guinea fowls, Numidian hens, and pheasants, which were sacrificed by species on each day.
et noctibus quidem plenam fulgentemque lunam inuitabat assidue in amplexus atque concubitum, interdiu uero cum Capitolino Ioue secreto fabulabatur, modo insusurrans ac praebens in uicem aurem, modo clarius nec sine iurgiis.
And indeed at night he constantly invited the full and shining moon to his embraces and bed; but during the day he talked secretly with Capitoline Jupiter, now whispering and in turn lending his ear, now more loudly and not without altercations.
nam uox comminantis audita est:
ἤ μ' ἀνάειρ' ἢ ἐγὼ σέ, donec exoratus, ut referebat, et in contubernium ultro inuitatus super templum Diui Augusti ponte transmisso Palatium Capitoliumque coniunxit.
For the voice of him threatening was heard: "Either raise me up, or I will you," until, being entreated, as he used to relate, and voluntarily invited to a common dwelling, having thrown a bridge over the temple of the Divine Augustus, he joined the Palatium and the Capitol.
mox, quo propior esset, in area Capitolina nouae domus fundamenta iecit.
Soon, that he might be nearer, he laid the foundations of a new house in the Capitoline area.
§23Agrippae se nepotem neque credi neque dici ob ignobilitatem eius uolebat suscensebatque, si qui uel oratione uel carmine imaginibus eum Caesarum insererent.
He would neither believe nor allow it to be said that he was the grandson of Agrippa, on account of the ignobility of the latter, and was angry if anyone, either in speech or in song, inserted him among the images of the Caesars.
praedicabat autem matrem suam ex incesto, quod Augustus cum Iulia filia admisisset, procreatam; ac non contentus hac Augusti insectatione Actiacas Siculasque uictorias, ut funestas p. R. et calamitosas, uetuit sollemnibus feriis celebrari.
He also boasted that his own mother was procreated from an incest which Augustus had committed with his daughter Julia; and not content with this abuse of Augustus, he forbade the victories of Actium and Sicily to be celebrated with solemn festivals, as being fatal and disastrous to the Roman people.
Liuiam Augustam proauiam 'Vlixem stolatum' identidem appellans, etiam ignobilitatis quadam ad senatum epistula arguere ausus est quasi materno auo decurione Fundano ortam, cum publicis monumentis certum sit, Aufidium Lurconem Romae honoribus functum.
Often calling his great-grandmother Livia Augusta "Ulysses in a petticoat," he even dared to accuse her of ignobility in a certain letter to the senate, as if she had sprung from a maternal grandfather who was a decurion of Fundi, although it is certain from public records that Aufidius Lurco held offices in Rome.
auiae Antoniae secretum petenti denegauit, nisi ut interueniret Macro praefectus, ac per istius modi indignitates et taedia causa extitit mortis, dato tamen, ut quidam putant, et ueneno; nec defunctae ullum honorem habuit prospexitque e triclinio ardentem rogum.
To his grandmother Antonia, when she requested a private interview, he denied it unless Macro the prefect was present; and through indignities and vexations of this kind, he became the cause of her death, though poison also was given to her, as some believe; nor did he pay any honor to her when deceased, and viewed her burning funeral pyre from his dining room.
fratrem Tiberium inopinantem repente immisso tribuno militum interemit Silanum item socerum ad necem secandasque nouacula fauces compulit, causatus in utroque, quod hic ingressum se turbatius mare non esset secutus ac spe occupandi urbem, si quid sibi per tempestates accideret, remansisset, ille antidotum oboluisset, quasi ad praecauenda uenena sua sumptum, cum et Silanus inpatientiam nauseae uitasset et molestiam nauigandi, et Tiberius propter assiduam et ingrauescentem tussim medicamento usus esset.
He put to death his brother Tiberius, who suspected nothing, by suddenly sending a military tribune; he likewise compelled Silanus, his father-in-law, to commit suicide and cut his throat with a razor; alleging against both: against the latter (Silanus), that he had not followed him when he embarked upon a rather stormy sea, but had remained behind in the hope of seizing the city if anything happened to him in the storms; against the former (Tiberius), that his breath smelled of an antidote, as if taken to guard against his poisons; although Silanus had avoided the intolerance of sea-sickness and the trouble of sailing, and Tiberius had used the medicine on account of a constant and worsening cough.
nam Claudium patruum non nisi in ludibrium reseruauit.
For his uncle Claudius, he preserved him for nothing but a laughing-stock.