§9.1Scire velim, quare totiens mihi, Naevole, tristis §9.2occurras, fronte obducta ceu Marsya victus,
I should like to know, Naevolus, why you so often meet me with a gloomy face, with your brow clouded like the defeated Marsyas.
What have you to do with a countenance such as Ravola had when he was caught rubbing the wet groin of Rhodope with his beard?
§9.5nos colaphum incutimus lambenti crustula servo. §9.6non erit hac facie miserabilior Crepereius §9.7Pollio, qui triplicem usuram praestare paratus §9.8circumit et fatuos non invenit, unde repente
We bestow a blow upon a slave who licks the pastry; yet Crepereius Pollio will not be more miserable of face than this, who, ready to pay triple interest, goes around and finds no fools.
§9.9tot rugae? certe modico contentus agebas
Whence, suddenly, so many wrinkles?
Surely you used to live content with a modest lot, acting the part of a gentlemanly slave-wit, a guest vehement with biting jest, witticisms, and sarcasm born within the city-boundary.
§9.12omnia nunc contra: vultus gravis, horrida siccae §9.13silva comae, nullus tota nitor in cute, qualem §9.14Bruttia praestabat calidi tibi fascia visci, §9.15sed fruticante pilo neglecta et squalida crura.
Now all is the reverse: a heavy countenance, a rough forest of dry hair, no luster on your whole skin such as the Bruttian plaster of warm pitch used to afford you, but your legs are neglected and squalid with sprouting hair.
§9.16quid macies aegri veteris, quem tempore longo §9.17torret quarta dies olimque domestica febris?
Why this emaciation of a chronic invalid, whom for a long time the quartan ague and a fever long domesticated in his house parches?
You may detect the torments of a mind lurking in a sick body, and you may detect joys as well; from that source the face takes either appearance.
Therefore you seem to have changed your purpose and to be going contrary to your former life.
§9.22nuper enim, ut repeto, fanum Isidis et Ganymedem §9.23Pacis et advectae secreta Palatia matris §9.24et Cererem (nam quo non prostat femina templo?) §9.25notior Aufidio moechus celebrare solebas, §9.26quodque taces, ipsos etiam inclinare maritos.
For lately, as I recall, at the temple of Isis, and the Ganymede of Peace, and the secret Palatium of the imported Mother, and Cereres (for in what temple does a woman not prostitute herself?), you, an adulterer more notorious than Aufidius, used to frequent them, and, what you keep silent about, you even used to bend the husbands themselves.
§9.27‘Utile et hoc multis vitae genus, at mihi nullum
'This kind of life is indeed useful to many, but to me no reward for my labor comes from it.
§9.28inde operae pretium, pingues aliquando lacernas, §9.29munimenta togae, duri crassique coloris §9.30et male percussas textoris pectine Galli §9.31accipimus, tenue argentum venaeque secundae,
Sometimes we receive greasy cloaks, protections for the toga, of a harsh and coarse color and badly beaten by the comb of a Gallic weaver; or a thin piece of silver of second-rate vein.
§9.32fata regunt homines, fatum est et partibus illis §9.33quas sinus abscondit, nam si tibi sidera cessant,
The fates rule men; there is fate even in those parts which the fold of our garment hides.
§9.34nil faciet longi mensura incognita nervi, §9.35quamvis te nudum spumanti Virro labello §9.36viderit et blandae adsidue densaeque tabellae §9.37sollicitent, αὐτὸς γὰρ ἐφέλκεται ἄνδρα κίναιδος. §9.38quod tamen ulterius monstrum quam mollis avarus?
For if your stars fail you, the unknown measure of a long member will do nothing for you, although Virro may have seen you naked with a foaming lip, and coaxing, frequent, and thick tablets solicit you; "for the pathic himself draws the man to him." But what monster is more outstanding than a soft-hearted miser?
"These things I bestowed, then those I gave, soon you bore away more"; he computes, and continues his lust.
ponatur calculus, adsint §9.41cum tabula pueri; numera sestertia quinque
Let the counter be placed, let the slaves be present with the account-book; count five sestertia in all transactions; then let my labors be counted.
§9.42omnibus in rebus: numerentur deinde labores, §9.43an facile et pronum est agere intra viscera penem §9.44legitimum atque illic hesternae occurrere cenae?
Is it an easy and ready thing to drive a legitimate member into the depths of the bowels and there to encounter yesterday's dinner?
That slave will be less miserable who digs the field than he who digs his master.
sed tu sane tenerum et puerum te §9.47et pulchrum et dignum cyatho caeloque putabas,
But you, forsooth, thought yourself delicate, a boy, beautiful and worthy of the cup and of heaven.
Will you ever show indulgence to a humble follower, to an attendant, you who are no longer ready to give even to your pathic disease?
§9.50en cui tu viridem umbellam, cui sucina mittas §9.51grandia, natalis quotiens redit aut madidum ver §9.52incipit et strata positus longaque cathedra §9.53munera femineis tractat secreta kalendis.
Behold the one to whom you send a green parasol, to whom you send large pieces of amber, as often as your birthday returns or wet spring begins, and, placed on a cushioned and long chair, he handles his secret gifts on the women's Kalends.
§9.54Dic, passer, cui tot montis, tot praedia servas §9.55Apula, tot milvos intra tua pascua lassos?
Tell me, passer, for whom do you keep so many hills, so many Apulian estates, so many kites tired within your pastures?
§9.56te Trifolinus ager fecundis vitibus implet §9.57suspectumque iugum Cumis et Gaurus inanis— §9.58nam quis plura linit victuro dolia musto?— §9.59quantum erat exhausti lumbos donare clientis
The Trifoline territory fills you with fertile vines, and the ridge that looks down on Cumae, and empty Gaurus— for who seals more jars with must destined to live? — how great a thing would it have been to present the loins of a worn-out client with a few acres?
§9.60iugeribus paucis? meliusne hic rusticus infans §9.61cum matre et casulis et conlusore catello §9.62cymbala pulsantis legatum fiet amici?
Is it better that this rustic infant with his mother, his cottage, and his playmate puppy should become the legacy of a cymbal-clashing friend?
§9.63"improbus es cum poscis,"
ait.
"You are impudent when you ask," he says.
sed pensio clamat §9.64"posce"
; sed appellat puer unicus ut Polyphemi §9.65lata acies per quam sollers evasit Vlixes; §9.66alter emendus erit, namque hic non sufficit, ambo §9.67pascendi.
But the rent cries out, "Ask!"; and my only slave calls out, like the broad eye of Polyphemus, through which the clever Ulysses escaped; another must be bought, for this one does not suffice, and both must be fed.
quid agam bruma spirante? quid, oro,
What shall I do when winter blows?
§9.68quid dicam scapulis puerorum aquilone Decembri §9.69et pedibus?
"durate atque expectate cicadas"
?
What, I pray, what shall I say to the shoulders and feet of my slaves in the December north wind? "Endure and wait for the cicadas"?
§9.70Verum ut dissimili es, ut mittas cetera, quanto §9.71metiris pretio, quod ni tibi deditus essem §9.72devotusque cliens, uxor tua virgo maneret?
But though you pass over the rest, at how great a price do you value this, that unless I had been devoted and bounden client to you, your wife would still remain a virgin?
§9.73scis certe quibus ista modis, quam saepe rogaris, §9.74et quae pollicitus, fugientem saepe puellam §9.75amplexu rapui; tabulas quoque ruperat et iam
You surely know in what ways, how often you asked, and what you promised, and how often I snatched the fleeing girl in my embrace; she had even torn up the marriage-tablets and was already signing new ones.