§99.1Epistulam, quam scripsi Marullo, cum filium parvulum amisisset et diceretur molliter ferre, misi tibi, in qua non sum solitum morem secutus nec putavi leniter illum debere tractari, cum obiurgatione esset quam solacio dignior.
I have sent you the letter which I wrote to Marullus when he had lost his little son and was said to be bearing it weakly, in which I did not follow my usual custom, nor did I think he ought to be treated gently, since he was more worthy of scolding than of consolation.
Adflicto enim et magnum vulnus male fcrenti paulisper cedendum est; exsatiet se aut certe primum impetum effundat; hi, qui sibi lugere sumpserunt, protinus castigentur et discant quasdam etiam lacrimarum ineptias esse.
For to one who is afflicted and bearing a great wound badly, we must yield for a little while; let him saturate himself or at least pour out the first impulse; but let these who have taken it upon themselves to mourn be immediately chastised and let them learn that there are certain follies even in tears.
§99.2"Solacia expectas? Convicia accipe.
"Do you expect consolations? Receive reproaches.
Molliter tu fers mortem filii; quid faceres, si amicum perdidisses? Decessit filius incertae spei, parvulus; pusillum temporis periit.
You bear the death of your son weakly; what would you do if you had lost a friend? A son of uncertain hope has died, a little child; a tiny bit of time has perished.
§99.3Causas doloris conquirimus et de fortuna etiam inique queri volumus, quasi non sit iustas querendi causas praebitura.
We seek out causes of pain and want to complain even unjustly about fortune, as if she were not going to provide just causes for complaining.
At mehercules satis mihi iam videbaris animi habere etiam adversus solida mala, nedum ad istas umbras malorum, quibus ingemescunt homines moris causa.
But by Hercules, you seemed to me already to have enough courage even against solid evils, let alone against those shadows of evils, at which men groan for the sake of custom.
Quod damnorum omnium maximum est, si amicum perdidisses, danda opera erat, ut magis gauderes, quod habueras, quam maereres, quod amiseras.
As to what is the greatest of all losses, if you had lost a friend, effort should have been made that you might rejoice more because you had had him than grieve because you had lost him.
§99.4"Sed plerique non computant, quanta perceperint, quantum gavisi sint.
But most people do not calculate how much they have received, how much they have rejoiced.
Hoc habet inter reliqua mali dolor iste: non supervacuus tantum, sed ingratus est.
That pain of yours has this of evil among other things: it is not only superfluous, but ungrateful.
Ergo quod habuisti talem amicum, periit opera? Tot annis, tanta coniunctione vitae, tam familiari studiorum societate nil actum est? Cum amico effers amicitiam? Et quid doles amisisse, si habuisse non prodest? Mihi crede, magna pars ex iis, quos amavimus,licet ipsos casus abstulerit, apud nos manet.
Therefore, because you had such a friend, is the effort lost? Through so many years, such closeness of life, so intimate a companionship of studies, was nothing achieved? Do you carry out friendship to the grave along with your friend? And why do you grieve to have lost him, if to have had him is of no benefit? Believe me, a great part of those whom we have loved, although chance has taken away their very selves, remains with us.
Nostrum est, quod praeteriit, tempus nec quicquam est loco tutiore quam quod fuit.
The time which has passed is ours, nor is anything in a safer place than what has been.
§99.5Ingrati adversus percepta spe futuri sumus, quasi non quod futurum est, si modo successerit nobis, cito in praeterita transiturum sit.
We are ungrateful toward what has been received because of the hope of the future, as if what is to come, if only it succeeds for us, will not quickly pass into the past.
Anguste fructus rerum determinat, qui tantum praesentibus laetus est; et futura et praeterita delectant, haec exspectatione, illa memoria, sed alterum pendet et non fieri potest, alterum non potest non fuisse.
He limits the fruit of things narrowly, who is glad only with present things; both future and past things delight us, the former by expectation, the latter by memory, but the one is in suspense and may not happen, the other cannot not have been.
"Quis ergo furor est certissimo excidere? Adquiescamus iis, quae iam hausimus, si modo non perforate animo hauriebamus et transmittente quicquid acceperat.
What madness is it then to lose what is most certain? Let us find rest in those things which we have already drained, if only we were not draining them with a leaky mind, one that lets pass whatever it had received.
§99.6Innumerabilia sunt exempla eorum, qui liberos iuvenes sine lacrimis extulerint, qui in senatum aut in aliquod publicum officium a rogo redierint et statim aliud egerint.
Innumerable are the examples of those who have carried out their young children to burial without tears, who have returned from the funeral pyre to the senate or to some public office and immediately done something else.
Nec inmerito; nam primum supervacuum est dolere, si nihil dolendo proficias.
And not undeservedly; for first, it is superfluous to grieve, if you accomplish nothing by grieving.
Deinde iniquum est queri de eo, quod uni accidit, omnibus restat.
Secondly, it is unjust to complain about that which happens to one, but remains in store for all.
Deinde desiderii stulta conquestio est, ubi minimum interest inter amissum et desiderantem.
Thirdly, the complaint of longing is foolish where there is the least difference between the lost one and the one who longs.
Eo itaque aequiore animo esse debemus, quod quos amisimus, sequimur.
Therefore we ought to be of a more equal mind because we follow those whom we have lost.
§99.7"Respice celeritatem rapidissimi temporis, cogita brevitatem huius spatii, per quod citatissimi currimus, observa hunc comitatum generis humani eodem tendentis minimis intervallis distinctum, etiam ubi maxima videntur; quem putas perisse, praemissus est.
Look back at the swiftness of the most rapid time, think of the shortness of this space through which we run most quickly, observe this company of the human race, hastening to the same place, separated by the smallest intervals, even where they seem greatest; he whom you think has perished has been sent ahead.
Quid autem dementius quam, cum idem tibi iter emetiendum sit, flere eum, qui antecessit? Fiet aliquis factum, quod non ignoravit futurum? Aut si mortem in homine non cogitavit, sibi inposuit.
But what is more foolish than, when the same journey must be traversed by you, to weep for him who has gone before? Does anyone weep for an event which he knew would happen? Or if he did not think of death in a human being, he deceived himself.
§99.8Fiet aliquis factum, quod aiebat non posse non fieri? Quisquis aliquem queritur mortuum esse, queritur hominem fuisse.
Does anyone weep for an event which he used to say could not not happen? Whoever complains that someone has died, complains that he was a human being.
Omnis eadem condicio devinxit: cui nasci contigit, mori restat.
The same condition has bound all: to whom it fell to be born, it remains to die."