§95.19Vide, quantum rerum per unam gulam transiturarum permisceat luxuria, terrarum marisque vastatrix.
See how much luxury, the destroyer of land and sea, mixes together of things that are to pass through a single throat.
necesse est itaque inter se tam diversa dissideant et hausta male male digerantur aliis alio nitentibus.
It is necessary therefore that things so different from each other should disagree and, being badly swallowed, should be badly digested while some strive in one direction and others in another.
Nec mirum, quod inconstans variusque ex discordi cibo morbus est et illa ex contrariis naturae partibus in eundem compulsa redundant.
Nor is it a wonder that disease arising from discordant food is inconstant and varied, and that those elements driven together into the same place from opposite parts of nature overflow.
Inde tam multo aegrotamus genere quam vivimus.
Hence we fall ill of as many kinds of diseases as we live by.
§95.20Maximus ille medicorum et huius scientiae conditor feminis nec capillos defluere dixit nec pedes laborare; atqui et capillis destituuntur et pedibus aegrae sunt.
That greatest of physicians and the founder of this science said that women neither lose their hair nor suffer in their feet; yet they are both deprived of hair and are diseased in their feet.
Non mutata feminarum natura, sed victa est; nam cum virorum licentiam aequaverint, corporum quoque virilium incommoda aequarunt.
The nature of women has not been changed, but overcome; for since they have equaled the license of men, they have also equaled the ills of male bodies.
§95.21Non minus pervigilant, non minus potant, et oleo et mero viros provocant; aeque invitis ingesta visceribus per os reddunt et vinum omne vomitu remetiuntur; aeque nivem rodunt, solacium stomachi aestuantis.
They stay awake no less, they drink no less, and they challenge men with both oil and unmixed wine; they return from their mouths what has been forced into their unwilling organs, and measure out again all their wine by vomiting; they equally gnaw snow, the solace of a burning stomach.
Libidine vero ne maribus quidem cedunt, pati natae, di illas deaeque male perdant! Adeo perversum commentae genus inpudicitiae viros ineunt.
In lust indeed they do not yield even to males, born to be passive—may the gods and goddesses destroy them miserably! They have devised so perverse a kind of unchastity that they enter men.
Quid ergo mirandum est maximum medicorum ac naturae peritissimum in mendacio prendi, cum tot feminae podagricae calvaeque sint? Beneficium sexus sui vitiis perdiderunt et, quia feminam exuerant, damnatae sunt morbis virilibus.
What wonder is there then that the greatest of physicians and the most skilled in nature is caught in a lie, when so many women are gouty and bald? They have lost the benefit of their sex by their vices, and, because they put off the woman, they have been condemned to male diseases.
§95.22Antiqui medici nesciebant dare cibum saepius et vino fulcire venas cadentes, nesciebant sanguinem mittere et diutinam aegrotationem balneo sudoribusque laxare, nesciebant crurum vinculo brachiorumque latentem vim et in medio sedentem ad extrema revocare.
Ancient physicians did not know how to give food more frequently and to support falling veins with wine; they did not know how to let blood and to relieve a long-standing illness with baths and sweatings; they did not know how to recall a latent force, sitting in the middle, to the extremities by binding the legs and arms.
Non erat necesse circumspicere multa auxiliorum genera, eum essent periculorum paucissima.
It was not necessary to look around for many kinds of remedies when there were very few kinds of dangers.
§95.23Nunc vero quam longe processerunt mala valitudinis! Has usuras voluptatium pendimus ultra modum fasque concupitarum.
But now how far have the evils of ill health advanced! We pay these interests of pleasures coveted beyond measure and divine law.
Innumerabiles esse morbos non miraberis: cocos numera.
You will not wonder that diseases are innumerable: count the cooks.
Cessat omne studium et liberalia professi sine ulla frequentia desertis angulis praesident.
All study is idle, and those who profess the liberal arts preside in deserted corners without any attendance.
In rhetorum ac philosophorum scholis solitudo est; at quam celebres culinae sunt, quanta circa nepotum focos iuventus premitur!
There is solitude in the schools of rhetoricians and philosophers; but how crowded are the kitchens, how great a crowd of youth is pressed around the hearths of spendthrifts!
§95.24Transeo puerorum infelicium greges, quos post transacta convivia aliae cubiculi contumeliae exspectant.
I pass over the herds of unhappy boys, whom other insults of the bedchamber await after the banquets are finished.
Transeo agmina exoletorum per nationes coloresque discripta, ut eadem omnibus levitas sit, eadem primae mensura lanuginis, eadem species capillorum, ne quis, cui rectior est coma, crispulis misceatur.
I pass over the lines of older darlings, classified by nations and colors, so that there may be the same smoothness of skin for all, the same measure of first down, the same appearance of hair, lest anyone whose hair is straighter should be mixed with the curly-headed.
Transeo pistorum turbam, transeo ministratorum, per quos signo dato ad inferendam cenam discurritur.
I pass over the crowd of bakers, I pass over that of servers, through whom, at a given signal, there is a running about to bring in the dinner.
Di boni, quantum hominum unus venter exercet! Quid? Tu illos boletos, voluntarium venenum, nihil occulti operis iudicas facere, etiam si praesentanei non fuerunt?
Good gods, how many men a single belly employs! What? Do you judge those mushrooms, a voluntary poison, to do no secret work, even if they have not been immediate?
§95.25Quid? Tu illam aestivam nivem non putas callum iocineribus obducere? Quid? Illa ostrea, inertissimam carnem caeno saginatam, nihil existimas limosae gravitatis inferre? Quid? Illud sociorum garum, pretiosam malorum piscium saniem, non credis urere salsa tabe praecordia? Quid? Illa purulenta et quae tantum non ex ipso igne in os transferuntur, iudicas sine noxa in ipsis visceribus extingui? Quam foedi itaque pestilentesque ructus sunt, quantum fastidium sui exhalantibus crapulam veterem! Scias putrescere sumpta, non concoqui.
What? Do you not think that summer snow covers the liver with a hard skin? What? Do you think those oysters, the most sluggish flesh fattened on mud, bring no slimy heaviness? What? Do you not believe that the garum of our allies, the costly putrid juice of bad fish, burns the vitals with its salty decay? What? Do you judge those purulent things, and those which are transferred to the mouth almost from the fire itself, to be extinguished in the organs themselves without harm? How foul and pestilential therefore are the belchings, how great a self-loathing for those exhaling their old drunkenness! Know that what has been taken in rots, and is not digested.
§95.26Memini fuisse quondam in sermone nobilem patinam, in quam quicquid apud lautos solet diem ducere, properans in damnum suum popina congesserat; veneriae spondylique et ostrea eatenus circumcisa, qua eduntur, intervenientibus distinguebantur echinis.
I remember there was once in conversation a famous platter, into which whatever is accustomed to spend the day among the luxurious, the kitchen, hastening to its own ruin, had heaped; scallops and muscles and oysters, cut away as far as they are eaten, were distinguished by sea-urchins placed between them.
Totam dissecti structique sine ullis ossibus mulli constraverant.
Cut up and arranged mullets, without any bones, had covered the whole.
§95.27Piget esse iam singula; coguntur in unum sapores.
It is now displeasing to eat individual things; flavors are forced into one.
In cena fit, quod fieri debebat in ventre.
In the dinner that is done which ought to have been done in the belly.
Expecto iam, ut manducata ponantur.
I expect now that already chewed foods are served.
Quantulo autem hoc minus est, festas excerpere atque ossa et dentium opera cocum fungi? "Gravest luxuriari per singula; omnia semel et in eundem saporem versa ponantur.
Yet how much less is this, to extract shells and bones and for the cook to perform the office of teeth? "It is heavy to enjoy luxury by individual items; let all things be served at once, turned into the same flavor.
Quare ego ad unam rem manum porrigam? Plura veniant simul, multorum ferculorum ornamenta coeant et cohaereant.
Why should I stretch out my hand to a single thing? Let more come at once, let the ornaments of many dishes come together and unite."