§6.3.45sed acutior est illa atque velocior in urbanitate brevitas.
But that brevity in wit is sharper and more rapid.
cuius quidem duplex forma est dicendi ac respondendi, sed ratio communis in partem; nihil enim quod in lacessendo dici potest, non etiam in repercutiendo.
There is indeed a double form of it, of speaking and of replying, but their principle is in part common; for there is nothing that can be said in attacking which cannot also be said in parrying.
§6.3.46at quaedam propria sunt respondentium; illa etiam atque etiam cogitata adferri solent, haec plerumque in altercatione aut in rogandis testibus reperiuntur.
But some things are peculiar to those who reply; the former are wont to be brought forward after repeated meditation, while the latter are mostly found in altercation or in examining witnesses.
Cum sint autem loci plures, ex quibus dicta ridicula ducantur, repetendum est mihi non omnes eos oratoribus convenire; in primis ex amphibolia neque illa obscena, §6.3.47quae Atellani e more captant, nec qualia vulgo iactantur a vilissimo quoque, conversa in maledictum fere ambiguitate; ne illa quidem, quae Ciceroni aliquando sed non in agendo exciderunt, ut dixit, cum is candidatus, qui coqui filius habebatur, coram eo suffragium ab alio peteret: ego quoque tibi favebo. §6.3.48non quia excludenda sint omnino verba duos sensus significantia, sed quia raro belle respondeant, nisi cum prorsus rebus ipsis adiuvantur. quare paene et ipsum scurrile Ciceronis est in eundem, de quo supra dixi, Isauricum: miror, quid sit, quod pater tuus, homo constantissimus, te nobis varium reliquit. §6.3.49sed illud ex eodem genere praeclarum; cum obiiceret Miloni accusator in argumentum factarum Clodio insidiarum, quod Bovillas ante horam nonam devertisset, ut exspectaret, dum Clodius a villa sua exiret, et identidem interrogaret, quo tempore Clodius occisus esset, respondit, sero; quod vel solum sufficit, ut hoc genus non totum repudietur.
But since there are many topics from which ridiculous sayings may be derived, I must repeat that not all of them are suitable for orators; especially those from amphiboly, and not even those that are obscene, which they affect after the manner of the Atellan farces, nor such as are commonly bandied about by the lowest rabble, where the ambiguity is almost turned into abuse; nor even those which occasionally slipped from Cicero, though not when pleading in court, as when he said, when a candidate who was considered the son of a cook was seeking a vote from someone else in his presence: "I also will soup you (favor you)." not because words signifying two meanings are to be excluded altogether, but because they rarely reply handsomely, unless when they are thoroughly aided by the things themselves. wherefore that saying of Cicero against the same Isauricus, whom I mentioned above, is almost buffoonish: "I wonder what it is, that your father, a most constant man, left you to us so varied (fickle/spotted)." But that other from the same class is illustrious; when the accuser objected to Milo, as a proof of the ambush laid for Clodius, that he had turned aside to Bovillae before the ninth hour, to wait until Clodius should go out from his villa, and repeatedly asked at what time Clodius had been killed, he replied, "Late (too late/at a late hour)"; which alone is sufficient to prevent this kind from being entirely rejected.
§6.3.50nec plura modo significari solent, sed etiam diversa, ut Nero de servo pessimo dixit nulli plus apud se fidei haberi, nihil ei neque occlusum neque signatum esse.
Nor are merely several things wont to be signified, but even opposite things, as Nero said of a most worthless slave, that no one was more trusted by him, for nothing was either locked or sealed against him.
§6.3.51pervenit res usque ad aenigma, quale est Ciceronis in Plaetorium Fonteii accusatorem, cuius matrem, dixit, dum vixisset, ludum, postquam mortua esset, magistros habuisse.
The matter reaches even to a riddle, such as that of Cicero against Plaetorius, the accuser of Fonteius, whose mother, he said, had kept a school (ludum) while she lived, and had masters (magistros) after she was dead.
dicebantur autem, dum vixit, infames feminae convenire ad eam solitae; post mortem bona eius venierant.
Moreover, it was said that, while she lived, women of ill repute were accustomed to assemble at her house; after her death her goods had been sold.
quanquam hic ludus per translationem dictus est, magistri per ambiguitatem.
Although here "school" (ludum) is used by metaphor, and "masters" (magistri) by ambiguity.
§6.3.52in metalempsin quoque cadit eadem ratio dictorum, ut Fabius Maximus, incusans Augusti congiariorum, quae amicis dabantur, exiguitatem, heminaria esse dixit; nam congiarium commune liberalitatis atque mensurae, a mensura ducta imminutio rerum.
The same principle of sayings falls also into metalepsis, as Fabius Maximus, complaining of the scantiness of Augustus's largesses (congiaria) which were given to his friends, said they were "heminaria" (measured by the hemina); for congiarium is common to liberality and to measure, and the diminution of things was derived from the measure.
§6.3.53haec tam frigida quam est nominum fictio adiectis, detractis, mutatis litteris, ut Acisculum, quia esset pactus, Pacisculum, et Placidum nomine, quod is acerbus natura esset, Acidum, et Tullium, cum fur esset, Tollium dictos invenio.
This is as cold as is the invention of names by adding, subtracting, or changing letters, as I find Acisculus called Pacisculus because he had made a bargain (pactus), and Placidus by name, because he was bitter (acerbus) by nature, called Acidus, and Tullius, since he was a thief, called Tollium (lifter).
§6.3.54sed haec eadem genera commodius in rebus quam in nominibus respondent.
But these same kinds reply more conveniently in things than in names.
Afer enim venuste Manlium Suram, multum in agendo discursantem, salientem, manus iactantem, togam deiicientem et reponentem, non agere, dixit, sed satagere. est enim dictum per se urbanum satagere etiamsi nulla subsit alterius verbi similitudo.
For Afer charmingly said of Manlius Sura, who, while pleading, ran about much, leaped, tossed his hands, let fall and replaced his toga, that he was not acting (agere), but over-acting (satagere); for to say "satagere" is of itself witty, even if no resemblance of the other word underlay it.
§6.3.55fiunt et adiecta et detracta aspiratione et divisis coniunctisque verbis similiter saepius frigida, aliquando tamen recipienda.
They are made also by adding or subtracting aspiration, and by dividing or conjoining words, which are similarly more often cold, yet sometimes to be received.
eademque condicio est in iis, quae a nominibus trahuntur.
And the same condition applies to those things which are drawn from names.
multa ex hoc Cicero in Verrem, sed ut ab aliis dicta, modo futurum, ut omnia verreret, cum diceretur Verres, modo Herculi, quem expilaverat, molestiorem apro Erymanthio fuisse, modo malum sacerdotem, qui tam nequam verrem reliquisset, quia Sacerdoti Verres successerat.
Cicero used many of this kind against Verres, but as if said by others, now that it would come to pass that he would sweep (verreret) all things, since he was called Verres, now that he had been more troublesome to Hercules, whom he had despoiled, than the Erymanthian boar (apros) was, being a boar-pig (verres), now that Sacerdos was a bad priest (sacerdotem) who had left behind so worthless a boar-pig (verres), because Verres had succeeded Sacerdos.
§6.3.56praebet tamen aliquando occasionem quaedam felicitas hoc quoque bene utendi: ut pro Caecina Cicero in testem Sex.
Yet sometimes a certain happiness affords an opportunity of using this well also: as Cicero in Pro Caecina says against the witness Sex.
Clodium Phormionem, nec minus niger, inquit, nec minus confidens quam est ille Terentianus Phormio.
Clodius Phormio: "neither less black (niger), nor less confident than is that Terentian Phormio."