§6.3.25item ridicula aut facimus aut dicimus.
Likewise, we either do or say ridiculous things.
facto risus conciliatur interim admixta gravitate: ut M. Caelius praetor, cum sellam eius curulem consul Isauricus fregisset, alteram posuit loris intentam; dicebatur autem consul a patre flagris aliquando caesus; interim sine respectu pudoris, ut in illa pyxide Caeliana, quod neque oratori neque ulli viro gravi conveniat.
Laughter is secured by an action sometimes with gravity mixed in: as the praetor M. Caelius, when the consul Isauricus had broken his curule chair, set up another stretched with thongs; for the consul was said to have been sometimes beaten with whips by his father; at other times without regard for shame, as in that Caelian pyx, which would suit neither an orator nor any serious man.
§6.3.26idem autem de vultu gestuque ridiculo dictum sit; in quibus est quidem summa gratia, sed maior, cum captare risum non videntur; nihil enim est iis, quae sicut salsa dicuntur, insulsius.
The same moreover should be said of a ridiculous countenance and gesture; in which indeed there is the greatest grace, but greater when they do not seem to affect laughter; for nothing is more insipid than those things which are spoken as if they were salty.
quanquam autem gratiae plurimum dicentis severitas adfert, fitque ridiculum id ipsum, quod qui dicit illa non ridet, est tamen interim et aspectus et habitus oris et gestus non inurbanus, §6.3.27cum iis modus contingit.
Although, however, the severity of the speaker brings the most grace, and it becomes ridiculous itself that he who speaks those things does not laugh, yet there is sometimes an aspect, expression of face, and gesture that is not uncultivated, when moderation falls to their share.
id porro, quod dicitur, aut est lascivum et hilare, qualia A. Galbae pleraque, aut contumeliosum, qualia nuper Iuni Bassi, aut asperum, qualia Cassii Severi, aut lene, qualia Domitii Afri.
Furthermore, that which is spoken is either playful and cheerful, such as most of A. Galba's, or insulting, such as recently those of Iunius Bassus, or harsh, such as those of Cassius Severus, or gentle, such as those of Domitius Afer.
§6.3.28refert, his ubi quis utatur.
It matters where one uses these.
nam in convictibus et cotidiano sermone lasciva humilibus, hilaria omnibus convenient.
For in social gatherings and daily conversation playful things suit the humble, cheerful things suit everyone.
laedere nunquam velimus, longeque absit propositum illud potius amicum quam dictum perdendi.
Let us never wish to injure, and let that purpose be far away, to lose a friend rather than a jest.
in hac quidem pugna forensi malim mihi lenibus uti licere; quanquam et contumeliose et aspere dicere in adversarios permissum est, cum accusare etiam palam et caput alterius iuste petere concessum sit.
In this forensic struggle indeed, I should prefer to be allowed to use gentle things; although it is permitted to speak both insultingly and harshly against adversaries, since it is granted even to accuse openly and to seek the head of another justly.
sed hic quoque tamen inhumana videri solet fortunae insectatio, vel quod culpa caret vel quod recidere etiam in ipsos, qui obiecerunt, potest.
But here too, however, the hounding of fortune is wont to seem inhuman, either because it lacks fault or because it can recoil even upon those who object.
primum itaque considerandum est, et quis et in qua causa et apud quem et in quem et quid dicat.
First, therefore, it must be considered both who speaks, in what cause, before whom, against whom, and what he says.
§6.3.29oratori minime convenit distortus vultus gestusque, quae in mimis rideri solent.
A distorted countenance and gesture, which are wont to be laughed at in mimes, least become an orator.
dicacitas etiam scurrilis et scenica huic personae alienissima est.
A scurrilous and theatrical sarcasm is also most foreign to this persona.
obscenitas vero non a verbis tantum abesse debet, sed etiam a significatione.
Obscenity indeed must be absent not only from words, but also from implication.
nam si quando obiici potest, non in ioco exprobranda est.
For if ever it can be charged, it must not be reproached in a joke.
§6.3.30oratorem praeterea ut dicere urbane volo, ita videri adfectare id plane nolo.
Moreover, as I want an orator to speak with urbanity, so I plainly do not want him to seem to affect it.
quapropter ne dicet quidem salse, quotiens poterit, et dictum potius aliquando perdet quam minuet auctoritatem.
Wherefore he will not even speak wittily as often as he can, and he will rather lose a jest sometimes than diminish his authority.
§6.3.31nec accusatorem autem atroci in causa nec patronum in miserabili iocantem feret quisquam.
Nor will anyone tolerate an accuser joking in an atrocious case, nor a patron in a miserable one.
sunt etiam iudices quidam tristiores quam ut risum libenter patiantur.
There are also some judges too stern to allow laughter willingly.
§6.3.32solet interim accidere, ut id quod in adversarium dicimus aut in iudicem conveniat aut in nostrum quoque litigatorem; quanquam aliqui reperiuntur, qui ne id quidem, quod in ipsos recidere possit, evitent.
It is wont sometimes to happen that what we say against an adversary fits either the judge or our own litigant; although some are found who do not even avoid that which can recoil upon themselves.
quod fecit Longus Sulpicius, qui, cum ipse foedissimus esset, ait eum, contra quem iudicio liberali aderat, ne faciem quidem habere liberi hominis; cui respondens Domitius Afer, ex tui, inquit, animi sententia, Longe, §6.3.33qui malam faciem habet, liber non est? vitandum etiam, ne petulans, ne superbum, ne loco, ne tempore alienum, ne praeparatum et domo adlatum videatur quod dicimus.
This Sulpicius Longus did, who, although he himself was most foul, said of him against whom he was present in a suit for freedom that he did not even have the face of a free man; to whom Domitius Afer replying said: "According to your sincere opinion, Longus, is he who has an ugly face not free?" It must also be avoided lest what we say should seem insolent, proud, out of place, out of time, or prepared and brought from home.
nam adversus miseros, sicut supra dixeram, inhumanus est iocus.
For against the miserable, as I had said above, a joke is inhuman.
sed quidam ita sunt receptae auctoritatis ac notae verecundiae, ut nocitura sit in eos dicendi petulantia.
But some are of such established authority and known modesty that insolence of speech against them will be harmful.
nam de amicis iam praeceptum est.
For concerning friends instructions have already been given.
§6.3.34illud non ad oratoris consilium sed ad hominis pertinet; lacessat hoc modo quem laedere sit periculosum, ne aut inimicitiae graves insequantur aut turpis satisfactio.
That pertains not to the orator's counsel but to the man's: let him not in this manner provoke one whom it is dangerous to injure, lest either serious enmities follow or a shameful apology.
male etiam dicitur, quod in plures conuenit, si aut nationes totae incessantur aut ordines aut condicio aut studia multorum.
It is also poorly said, which fits many, if either whole nations are attacked, or classes, or condition, or the pursuits of many.