Already my temples resemble the swan's feathers, and white old age colors my black hair.
§4.8.3iam subeunt anni fragiles et inertior aetas, §4.8.4iamque parum firmo me mihi ferre grave est.
Already the fragile years and a more inactive age are stealing upon me, and already it is a burden for me to support myself, as I am not sufficiently strong.
§4.8.5nunc erat, ut posito deberem fine laborum §4.8.6vivere, me nullo sollicitante metu, §4.8.7quaeque meae semper placuerunt otia menti §4.8.8carpere et in studiis molliter esse meis, §4.8.9et parvam celebrare domum veteresque Penates §4.8.10et quae nunc domino rura paterna carent, §4.8.11inque sinu dominae carisque sodalibus inque §4.8.12securus patria consenuisse mea.
Now was the time when, having put an end to my labors, I ought to live with no fear disquieting me, and to enjoy the leisure that always pleased my mind, and to dwell gently in my studies; and to cherish my small home and ancient Penates, and the paternal fields which now lack their master, and, in the embrace of my wife and with my dear companions, to have grown old in safety in my native land.
Thus once my life had hoped to be passed; thus was I worthy to spend these years.
It did not seem so to the gods, who, having driven me by land and sea, exposed me in Sarmatian lands.
Shattered ships are drawn into deep docks, lest they should break up heedlessly in the midst of the waters.
§4.8.19ne cadat et multas palmas inhonestet adeptus, §4.8.20languidus in pratis gramina carpit equus,
Lest he should fall and dishonor the many palms of victory he won, the sluggish horse crops the grass in the meadows.
§4.8.21miles ubi emeritis non est satis utilis annis, §4.8.22ponit ad antiquos, quae tulit, arma Lares,
When the soldier, his years of service completed, is no longer useful enough, he lays down the arms he bore before the ancient Lares.
So, therefore, as slow old age diminishes my strength, it was time for me also to be presented already with the wooden sword.
§4.8.25tempus erat nec me peregrinum ducere caelum, §4.8.26nec siccam Getico fonte levare sitim, §4.8.27sed modo, quos habui, vacuos secedere in hortos, §4.8.28nunc hominum visu rursus et urbe frui.
It was time that I should neither breathe a foreign air, nor slake my parched thirst at a Getic spring, but withdraw to the empty gardens which I once possessed, and now again enjoy the sight of men and the city.
Thus, with a mind that once did not foresee the future, I used to wish that I could live peacefully as an old man.
§4.8.31fata repugnarunt, quae, cum mihi tempora prima §4.8.32mollia praebuerint, posteriora gravant.
The fates resisted, which, though they offered my early times as gentle, oppress the later ones.
§4.8.33iamque decem lustris omni sine labe peractis, §4.8.34parte premor vitae deteriore meae, §4.8.35nec procul a metis, quas paene tenere videbar, §4.8.36curriculo gravis est facta ruina meo.
And now, ten lustra having been completed without any stain, I am oppressed by the worse part of my life, and not far from the goals which I seemed almost to reach, a heavy crash has befallen my chariot.
Did I, then, in my madness compel him to rage against me, than whom the immense world holds nothing more merciful?
And was clemency itself conquered by my offenses, and yet life was not denied to my error?
My life must be spent far from my fatherland under the Northern sky, where the land on the left of the Euxine sea lies.
If Delphi and Dodona itself had told me this, both places would have seemed to me untruthful.
§4.8.45nil adeo validum est, adamas licet alliget illud, §4.8.46ut maneat rapido firmius igne Iovis; §4.8.47nil ita sublime est supraque pericula tendit §4.8.48non sit ut inferius suppositumque deo.
Nothing is so strong, though adamant should bind it, as to remain firmer than the rapid fire of Jupiter; nothing is so sublime and reaches above dangers, that it is not lower than and subject to a god.
For although a part of my misfortunes was contracted by my own fault, yet the wrath of the deity gave more of destruction.