§9.12.1legeram tuas litteras xiii K., cum mihi epistula adfertur a Lepta circumvallatum esse Pompeium, ratibus etiam exitus portus teneri.
I had just read your letter on the eighteenth of March, when a letter was brought to me from Lepta, saying that Pompey was blockaded, and that even the exits of the harbor were held by rafts.
non medius fidius prae lacrimis possum reliqua nec cogitare nec scribere.
By heavens, I cannot because of my tears either think about or write the rest.
misi ad te exemplum.
I have sent you a copy.
miseros nos! cur non omnes fatum illius una exsecuti sumus? ecce autem a Matio et Trebatio eadem, quibus Menturnis obvii Caesaris tabellarii.
Wretched us! Why did we not all share his fate together? But look, the same news from Matius and Trebatius, who were met at Minturnae by Caesar's couriers.
torqueor infelix, ut iam illum Mucianum exitum exoptem.
I, unhappy man, am racked with pain, so that I now long for that death of Mucius.
at quam honesta, at quam expedita tua consilia, quam evigilata tuis cogitationibus, qua itineris, qua navigationis, qua congressus sermonisque cum Caesare! omnia cum honesta tum cauta.
But how noble, how clear are your counsels, how carefully prepared by your thoughts, whether in respect of the journey, the voyage, or the meeting and conversation with Caesar! Everything is both noble and cautious.
in Epirum vero invitatio quam suavis, quam liberalis, quam fraterna! §9.12.2de Dionysio sum admiratus qui apud me honoratior fuit quam apud Scipionem Panaetius; a quo impurissime haec nostra fortuna despecta est.
And indeed, how delightful, how generous, how brotherly is the invitation to Epirus! I am amazed at Dionysius, who was more honored in my house than Panaetius was in Scipio's; by him this misfortune of ours has been most foully despised.
odi hominem et odero; utinam ulcisci possem! sed illum ulciscentur mores sui. §9.12.3tu, quaeso, nunc vel maxime quid agendum nobis sit cogita.
I hate the man and shall hate him; I wish I could take revenge! But his own character will avenge him. You, I beg, think now above all what we ought to do.
populi Romani exercitus Cn. Pompeium circumsedet, fossa et vallo saeptum tenet, fuga prohibet; nos vivimus, et stat urbs ista, praetores ius dicunt, aediles ludos parant, viri boni usuras perscribunt, ego ipse sedeo! coner illuc ire ut insanus, implorare fidem municipiorum? boni non sequentur, leves inridebunt, rerum novarum cupidi, victores praesertim et armati, vim et manus adferent.
The army of the Roman people is blockading Gnaeus Pompey, keeping him enclosed with a trench and rampart, and preventing his escape; we are alive, and that city of yours stands, praetors administer justice, aediles prepare games, good men enter interest in their ledgers, and I myself sit idle! Should I attempt to go thither like a madman, to implore the loyalty of the municipalities? The good will not follow, the frivolous will laugh, the eager for revolution, especially victors and armed men, will bring force and lay hands on me. What then is your opinion?
§9.12.4quid censes igitur? ecquidnam est tui consili †ad† finis huius miserrimae vitae? nunc doleo, nunc torqueor, cum quoidam aut sapiens videor quod una non ierim aut felix fuisse.
Is there any counsel of yours for the end of this most wretched life? Now I grieve, now I am tormented, when to some I seem either wise because I did not go along, or fortunate.
mihi contra.
To me it is the opposite.
numquam enim illius victoriae socius esse volui, calamitatis mallem fuisse.
For I never wished to be a partner in his victory; I would rather have been a partner in his calamity.
quid ego nunc tuas litteras, quid tuam prudentiam aut benevolentiam implorem? actum est;
Why should I now implore your letters, why your prudence or benevolence?
nulla re iam possum iuvari qui ne quod optem quidem iam habeo nisi ut aliqua inimici misericordia liberemur.
All is over; I can no longer be helped by anything, I who no longer even have anything to wish for, except that we may be delivered by some mercy of the enemy.