§8.15.1A. d. v Nonas Martias epistulas mihi tuas Aegypta reddidit, unam veterem iiii Kal. quam te scribis dedisse Pinario quem non vidimus; in qua exspectas quidnam praemissus agat Vibullius qui omnino non est visus a Caesare (id altera epistula video te scire ita esse), et quem ad modum redeuntem excipiam Caesarem quem omnino vitare cogito, et †authemonis† fugam intendis commutationemque vitae tuae, quod tibi puto esse faciendum, et ignoras Domitius cum fascibusne sit.
On March 3, Aegypta delivered your letters to me, one old one dated February 26, which you write you gave to Pinarius whom we have not seen; in which you are waiting to see what Vibullius, who was sent ahead, is doing, who has not been seen by Caesar at all (I see from your other letter that you know this is so), and how I shall receive Caesar on his return, whom I think to avoid altogether, and you intend the flight of †authemonis† and the change of your life, which I think you ought to do, and you do not know whether Domitius has his fasces.
quod cum scies, facies ut sciamus.
When you know that, make sure I know.
habes ad primam epistulam.
There is your reply to the first letter.
§8.15.2secutae sunt duae pr. Kal. ambae datae quae me convellerunt de pristino statu iam tamen, ut ante ad te scripsi, labantem.
There followed two letters, both dated February 28, which completely tore me away from my former state, which, however, as I wrote to you before, was already wavering.
nec me movet quod scribis
"Iovi ipsi iniquum. "
nam periculum in utriusque iracundia positum est, victoria autem ita incerta ut deterior causa paratior mihi esse videatur.
Nor am I moved by what you write: "unjust even to Jupiter himself." For the danger lies in the wrath of both, and victory is so uncertain that the worse cause seems to me better prepared.
nec me consules movent qui ipsi pluma aut folio facilius moventur.
Nor do the consuls move me, who themselves are moved more easily than a feather or a leaf.
offici me deliberatio cruciat cruciavitque adhuc.
The deliberation on duty tortures me and has tortured me up to now.
cautior certe est mansio, honestior existimatur traiectio.
Staying is certainly safer, crossing over is thought more honorable.
malo interdum multi me non caute quam pauci non honeste fecisse existiment.
At times I prefer that many should think I acted incautiously than that a few should think I acted dishonorably.
de Lepido et Tullo quod quaeris, illi vero non dubitant quin Caesari praesto futuri in senatumque venturi sint recentissima tua est epistula Kal. data, in qua optas congressum pacemque non desperas.
As for your question about Lepidus and Tullus, they indeed have no doubt that they will wait upon Caesar and attend the senate. Your most recent letter is dated March 1, in which you hope for a meeting and do not despair of peace.
sed ego cum haec scribebam, nec illos congressuros nec, si congressi essent, Pompeium ad ullam condicionem accessurum putabam.
But when I was writing this, I thought that neither they would meet nor, if they did meet, would Pompey agree to any terms.
quod videris non dubitare, si consules transeant, quid nos facere oporteat, certe transeunt vel, quo modo nunc est, transierunt.
As for your appearing not to doubt what we ought to do if the consuls cross over, they certainly are crossing or, as things now stand, have crossed.
sed memento praeter Appium neminem esse fere qui non ius habeat transeundi.
But remember that with the exception of Appius, there is almost no one who does not have the right to cross.
nam aut cum imperio sunt ut Pompeius, ut Scipio, Sufenas, Fannius, Voconius, Sestius, ipsi consules quibus more maiorum concessum est vel omnis adire provincias, aut legati sunt eorum.
For either they hold military command, like Pompey, Scipio, Sufenas, Fannius, Voconius, Sestius, and the consuls themselves to whom by ancestral custom it is permitted to go to all provinces, or they are their legates.
sed nihil decerno; quid placeat tibi et quid prope modum rectum sit intellego.
But I decide nothing; I understand what pleases you and what is almost right.
plura scriberem, si ipse possem.
I would write more if I could do so myself.
sed, ut mihi videor, potero biduo.
But, as I think, I shall be able to in two days.
Balbi Corneli litterarum exemplum quas eodem die accepi quo tuas misi ad te, ut meam vicem doleres, cum me derideri videres.
I have sent you a copy of the letter of Balbus Cornelius, which I received on the same day as yours, so that you might grieve for my lot when you see that I am being made fun of.