§7.1.1dederam equidem L. Saufeio litteras et dederam ad te unum, quod cum non esset temporis mihi ad scribendum satis, tamen hominem tibi tam familiarem sine meis litteris ad te venire nolebam; sed ut philosophi ambulant, has tibi redditum iri putabam prius.
I did indeed deliver a letter to Lucius Saufeius, and I delivered it for you alone, because, although I did not have enough time for writing, I still did not want a man so close to you to come to you without a letter from me; but, seeing how philosophers travel, I thought that this letter would be delivered to you first.
sin iam illas accepisti, scis me Athenas venisse pr. Idus Octobris, e navi egressum in Piraeum tuas ab Acasto nostro litteras accepisse, conturbatum quod cum febre Romam venisses, bono tamen animo esse coepisse quod Acastus ea quae vellem de adlevato corpore tuo nuntiaret, cohorruisse autem me eo quod tuae litterae de legionibus Caesaris adferrent, et egisse tecum ut videres ne quid φιλοτιμία eius quem nosti nobis noceret; et, de quo iam pridem ad te scripseram, Turranius autem secus tibi Brundisi dixerat (quod ex iis litteris cognovi quas a Xenone, optimo viro, accepi), cur fratrem provinciae non praefecissem exposui breviter.
But if you have already received that one, you know that I arrived in Athens on the day before the Ides of October, and having disembarked at the Piraeus, I received your letter from our Acastus; that I was distressed that you had come to Rome with a fever, but began to be of good courage because Acastus brought the news I wished for about your improved health; that I shuddered, however, at what your letter brought concerning Caesar's legions, and urged you to see to it that the ambition (φιλοτιμία) of that man whom you know should not harm us; and, concerning what I had already written to you long before, but Turranius had told you otherwise at Brundisium (which I learned from the letter I received from Xenon, that excellent man), I briefly explained why I had not put my brother in charge of the province.
haec fere sunt in illa epistula.
This is roughly what is in that letter.
§7.1.2nunc audi reliqua.
Now hear the rest.
per fortunas! omnem tuum amorem quo me es amplexus omnemque tuam prudentiam quam me hercule in omni genere iudico singularem confer ad eam curam ut de omni statu meo cogites.
By all your fortunes! Direct all your love with which you have embraced me and all your wisdom which, by Hercules, I judge to be singular in every respect, to the care of thinking about my entire situation.
videre enim mihi videor tantam dimicationem, nisi idem deus qui nos melius quam optare auderemus Parthico bello liberavit respexerit rem publicam,—sed tantam quanta numquam fuit.
For I seem to see a conflict so great—unless the same god who freed us from the Parthian war better than we dared to hope should look upon the republic—a conflict so great as has never been before.
age, hoc malum mihi commune est cum omnibus.
Well, this evil is common to me and everyone else.
nihil tibi mando ut de eo cogites, illud meum proprium πρόβλημα, quaeso, suscipe.
I do not ask you to think about that, but please take upon yourself my own particular problem (πρόβλημα).
videsne ut te auctore sim utrumque complexus? ac vellem a principio te audisse amicissime monentem.
Do you see how, on your advice, I have embraced both men?
"
ἀλλ' ἐμὸν οὔποτε θυμὸν ἐνὶ στήθεσσιν ἔπειθεσ
"
sed aliquando tamen persuasisti ut alterum complecterer quia de me erat optime meritus, alterum quia tantum valebat.
And I wish I had listened to you at the beginning when you warned me most friendlily: "But you never persuaded the heart in my breast" Yet at some point you did persuade me to embrace the one because he had deserved extremely well of me, and the other because he was so powerful.
feci igitur itaque effeci omni obsequio ut neutri illorum quisquam esset me carior.
I did so, therefore, and by every kind of complaisance I managed to ensure that nobody was dearer to either of them than I.
§7.1.3haec enim cogitabamus, nec mihi coniuncto cum Pompeio fore necesse peccare in re publica aliquando nec cum Caesare sentienti pugnandum esse cum Pompeio.
For this is what I was thinking: that as long as I was allied with Pompey, I would never have to do wrong in the republic, nor, if I agreed with Caesar, would I have to fight with Pompey.
tanta erat illorum coniunctio.
So close was their alliance.
nunc impendet, ut et tu ostendis et ego video, summa inter eos contentio.
Now, as you point out and I see, a supreme conflict between them is imminent.
me autem uterque numerat suum, nisi forte simulat alter.
Moreover, each of them counts me as his own, unless perhaps one of them is pretending.
nam Pompeius non dubitat; vere enim iudicat ea quae de re publica nunc sentiat mihi valde probari.
For Pompey has no doubt; indeed, he judges rightly that what he now thinks about the republic is highly approved of by me.
utriusque autem accepi eius modi litteras eodem tempore quo tuas, ut neuter quemquam omnium pluris facere quam me videretur.
I received, however, letters of this kind from both of them at the same time as yours, so that neither seemed to value anyone in the world more than me.
§7.1.4verum quid agam? non quaero illa ultima (si enim castris res geretur, video cum altero vinci satius esse quam cum altero vincere), sed illa quae tum agentur cum venero, ne ratio absentis habeatur, ut exercitum dimittat.
But what am I to do? I am not asking about those ultimate questions (for if the matter is decided in the camp, I see that it is better to be defeated with the one than to conquer with the other), but about those things which will be discussed when I arrive, namely, whether consideration should be given to him in his absence, and that he should disband his army.
dic, M. Tulli. quid dicam?
"exspecta, amabo te, dum Atticum conveniam?"
non est locus ad tergiversandum.
"Speak, Marcus Tullius!" What shall I say? "Wait, please, until I meet Atticus?" There is no room for shuffling.
contra Caesarem?
"ubi illae sunt densae dexterae?"
nam ut illi hoc liceret adiuvi rogatus ab ipso Ravennae de Caelio tribuno pl.
Against Caesar? "Where are those closely clasped right hands?" For I helped to make this permissible for him, having been asked by Caesar himself at Ravenna concerning the tribune of the plebs Caelius. By Caesar himself?
ab ipso autem? etiam a Gnaeo nostro in illo divino tertio consulatu.
Yes, and by our Gnaeus too, in that divine third consulship of his.
aliter sensero;
Shall I hold a different opinion?
αἰδέομαι non Pompeium modo sed Τρῶασ καὶ Τρῳάδασ. "Πουλυδάμασ μοι"
I stand in awe, not only of Pompey, but of "the Trojan men and Trojan women." "Polydamas will be the first..."