§16.7.1viii Idus Sextil. cum a Leucopetra profectus (inde enim tramittebam) stadia circiter ccc processissem, reiectus sum austro vehementi ad eandem Leucopetram.
On the 6th of August, having set out from Leucopetra (for it was thence that I was trying to cross), when I had proceeded about 300 stadia, I was driven back by a strong south wind to the same Leucopetra.
ibi cum ventum exspectarem (erat enim villa Valeri nostri, ut familiariter essem et libenter), Regini quidam illustres homines eo venerunt Roma sane recentes, in iis Bruti nostri hospes qui Brutum Neapoli reliquisset.
While I was waiting for the wind there (for our friend Valerius had a villa there, so that I could stay in a friendly and pleasant manner), certain prominent citizens of Regium came there fresh from Rome, among them a guest-friend of our Brutus, who had left Brutus at Naples.
haec adferebant, edictum Bruti et Cassi, et fore frequentem senatum Kalendis, a Bruto et Cassio litteras missas ad consularis et praetorios ut adessent rogare.
They brought this news: the edict of Brutus and Cassius, and that there would be a crowded Senate on the Kalends, and that letters had been sent by Brutus and Cassius to the ex-consuls and ex-praetors asking them to be present.
summam spem nuntiabant fore ut Antonius cederet, res conveniret, nostri Romam redirent.
They reported the greatest hope that Antony would yield, that an agreement would be reached, and that our friends would return to Rome.
addebant etiam me desiderari, subaccusari.
They added also that I was missed and somewhat blamed.
quae cum audissem, sine ulla dubitatione abieci consilium profectionis quo me hercule ne antea quidem delectabar.
When I heard this, without any hesitation I cast aside my plan of departure, in which indeed I had taken no pleasure even before.
lectis vero tuis litteris admiratus equidem sum te tam vehementer sententiam commutasse, sed non sine causa arbitrabar.
But on reading your letter, I was indeed surprised that you had changed your mind so violently, but I thought it was not without cause.
etsi, quamvis non fueris suasor et impulsor profectionis meae, adprobator certe fuisti, dum modo Kal. Ian. Romae essem.
Although, even if you were not the persuader and instigator of my departure, you were certainly its approver, provided only that I should be in Rome by the Kalends of January.
ita fiebat ut, dum minus periculi videretur, abessem, in flammam ipsam venirem.
Thus it happened that while there seemed to be less danger, I was absent, but now I was coming into the very flame.
sed haec, etiam si non prudenter, tamen ἀνεμέσητα sunt, primum quod de mea sententia acta sunt, deinde etiam si te auctore, quid debet qui consilium dat praestare praeter fidem?
But these things, even if not prudently done, are yet blameless; first, because they were done on my own judgment, and secondly, even if by your advice, what is a counselor bound to guarantee except his sincerity?
§16.7.3illud admirari satis non potui quod scripsisti his verbis,
"bene igitur tu qui εὐθανασίαν, bene! relinque patriam.
I could not sufficiently wonder that you wrote in these words: "Well then, you who wanted an honorable death, well indeed!
"
an ego relinquebam aut tibi tum relinquere videbar? tu id non modo non prohibebas verum etiam adprobabas.
Leave your country." Was I leaving it, or did I seem to you then to be leaving it? You not only did not forbid it, but even approved it.
graviora quae restant:
"velim σχόλιον aliquod elimes ad me oportuisse te istuc facere.
More serious is what remains: "I should like you to polish up some explanation for me, showing that you ought to have done that." Is it so, my Atticus?
"
itane, mi Attice? defensione eget meum factum, praesertim apud te qui id mirabiliter adprobasti? ego vero istum ἀπολογισμὸν συντάξομαι, sed ad eorum aliquem quibus invitis et dissuadentibus profectus sum.
Does my action need defense, especially with you, who approved of it so wonderfully? Indeed, I shall compose that defense, but addressed to someone of those against whose will and dissuasion I set out.
etsi quid iam opus est σχολίῳ? si perseverassem, opus fuisset.
Though what need is there now for an explanation? If I had gone on, there would have been need.
"at hoc ipsum non constanter. "
nemo doctus umquam (multa autem de hoc genere scripta sunt) mutationem consili inconstantiam dixit esse.
"But this very thing is not consistent." No learned man ever (and much has been written on this subject) said that a change of plan was inconsistency.
§16.7.4deinceps igitur haec,
"nam si a Phaedro nostro esses, expedita excusatio esset; nunc quid respondemus?"
ergo id erat meum factum quod Catoni probare non possim? flagiti scilicet plenum et dedecoris.
Next, therefore, comes this: "For if you were of our friend Phaedrus's school, the excuse would be easy; now, what do we reply?" So, then, was my action such as I could not justify to Cato? Full of shame and disgrace, of course.
utinam a primo ita tibi esset visum! tu mihi, sicut esse soles, fuisses Cato.
Would that it had seemed so to you from the beginning! You would have been a Cato to me, as you usually are.
§16.7.5extremum illud vel molestissimum,
"nam Brutus noster silet,"
hoc est, non audet hominem id aetatis monere.
The last and most annoying thing is: "For our Brutus is silent," which means he does not dare to advise a man of my age.
aliud nihil habeo quod ex iis a te verbis significari putem, et hercule ita est.
I have nothing else to think is signified by those words of yours, and by Hercules, so it is.
nam xvi Kal. Sept. cum venissem Veliam, Brutus audivit;
For when I came to Velia on the seventeenth of August, Brutus heard of it; for he was with his ships near the river Hales, three miles this side of Velia.
erat enim cum suis navibus apud Haletem fluvium citra Veliam milia passus III. pedibus ad me statim.
He came to me on foot at once.
di immortales, quam valde ille reditu vel potius reversione mea laetatus effudit illa omnia quae tacuerat! ut recordarer illud tuum.
Ye immortal gods, how greatly he rejoiced at my return, or rather my turning back, and poured out all that he had kept silent!
"nam Brutus noster silet. "
maxime autem dolebat me Kal. Sext. in senatu non fuisse.
How it made me remember that remark of yours: "For our Brutus is silent." But he was especially grieved that I had not been in the Senate on the Kalends of August.
Pisonem ferebat in caelum; se autem laetari quod effugissem duas maximas vituperationes, unam, quam itinere faciendo me intellegebam suscipere, desperationis ac reictionis rei publicae (flentes mecum vulgo querebantur quibus de meo celeri reditu non probabam), alteram, de qua Brutus et qui una erant (multi autem erant) laetabantur, quod eam vituperationem effugissem me existimari ad Olympia.
He praised Piso to the skies, and rejoiced that I had escaped two very great criticisms: one, which I realized I was incurring by making the journey, of despairing of and abandoning the republic (people commonly complained with tears to whom I did not promise my speedy return); the other, at which Brutus and those with him (and there were many) rejoiced, that I had escaped the criticism of being thought to be going to the Olympic Games.
hoc vero nihil turpius quovis rei publicae tempore sed hoc ἀναπολόγητον.
Indeed, nothing could be more shameful than this at any time of the republic, but at this time it would be inexcusable.
ego vero austro gratias miras qui me a tanta infamia averterit.
I indeed give wondrous thanks to the south wind which turned me away from such a great disgrace.
§16.7.6reversionis has speciosas causas habes iustas illas qui dem et magnas; sed nulla iustior quam quod tu idem aliis litteris,
"provide, si cui quid debetur, ut sit unde par pari respondeatur.
Here you have the specious reasons for my return, which are indeed just and great; but none is more just than what you yourself wrote in another letter: "See to it, if anything is owed to anyone, that there are means to pay equal to equal.
mirifica enim δυσχρηστία est propter metum armorum. "
in freto medio hanc epistulam legi, ut quid possem providere in mentem mihi non veniret nisi ut praesens me ipse defenderem.
For there is an extraordinary scarcity of money because of the fear of war." I read this letter in the middle of the strait, so that no way of providing occurred to my mind except that I should defend myself in person.
sed haec hactenus; reliqua coram.
But so much for this; the rest when we meet.
§16.7.7Antoni edictum legi a Bruto et horum contra scriptum praeclare; sed quid ista edicta valeant aut quo spectent plane non video.
I read Antony's edict from Brutus, and their reply, which was excellently written; but what power those edicts have or what they aim at, I do not see at all.
nec ego nunc, ut Brutus censebat, istuc ad rem publicam capessendam venio.
Nor am I now returning, as Brutus thought, to take part in public affairs.
quid enim fieri potest? num quis Pisoni est adsensus? num rediit ipse postridie? sed abesse hanc aetatem longe a sepulcro negant oportere.
For what can be done? Did anyone agree with Piso? Did he himself return the next day? But people say that a man of my age ought not to be far from his tomb.
§16.7.8sed obsecro te, quid est quod audivi de Bruto? Piliam πειράζεσθαι παραλύσει te scripsisse aiebat.
But I beg of you, what is this that I have heard about Brutus? He said you wrote that Pilia is being afflicted with paralysis.
valde sum commotus.
I am deeply moved.
etsi idem te scribere sperare melius.
Although I hope you wrote in the same letter that there is hope for the better.
ita plane velim et ei dicas plurimam salutem et suavissimae Atticae.
I indeed wish it plainly so, and give her my warmest greetings, and also to the sweetest Attica.
haec scripsi navigans cum prope Pompeianum accederem xiiii Kal.
I wrote this while sailing, as I was approaching near my Pompeian villa, on the 19th of August.