§12.18.1dum recordationes fugio quae quasi morsu quodam dolorem efficiunt, refugio ad te admonendum.
While I flee from the recollections which bring pain as if with a kind of bite, I run back to reminding you.
quod velim mihi ignoscas, cuicuimodi est.
I would wish you to forgive me for this, of whatever kind it is.
etenim habeo non nullos ex iis quos nunc lectito auctores qui dicant fieri id oportere quod saepe tecum egi et quod a te approbari volo, de fano illo dico, de quo tantum quantum me amas velim cogites.
For indeed I have not a few among the authors whom I am now reading who say that what I have often discussed with you and what I want to be approved by you ought to be done; I mean that shrine, about which I would wish you to think as much as you love me.
equidem neque de genere dubito (placet enim mihi Cluati) neque de re (statutum est enim), de loco non numquam.
Indeed, I do not doubt either the style (for Cluatius's pleases me) or the project itself (for it is decided), though sometimes about the place.
velim igitur cogites.
Therefore, I would wish you to think.
ego, quantum his temporibus tam eruditis fieri potuerit, profecto illam consecrabo omni genere monimentorum ab omnium ingeniis sumptorum et Graecorum et Latinorum.
For my part, as far as can be done in these highly civilized times, I will certainly consecrate her with every kind of monument taken from the talents of all, both Greeks and Latins.
quae res forsitan sit refricatura vulnus meum.
This matter may perhaps reopen my wound.
sed iam quasi voto quodam et promisso me teneri puto, longumque illud tempus cum non ero magis me movet quam hoc exiguum, quod mihi tamen nimium longum videtur.
But now I think I am bound as if by a certain vow and promise, and that long time when I shall not exist moves me more than this brief period, which, however, seems all too long to me.
habeo enim nihil temptatis rebus omnibus in quo acquiescam.
For after trying everything, I have nothing in which I may find rest.
nam dum illud tractabam de quo ad te ante scripsi, quasi fovebam dolores meos; nunc omnia respuo nec quicquam habeo tolerabilius quam solitudinem; quam, quod eram veritus, non obturbavit Philippus.
For while I was writing that of which I wrote to you before, I was, as it were, soothing my griefs; now I reject everything, and I have nothing more tolerable than solitude, which Philippus, as I had feared, did not disturb.
nam ut heri me salutavit, statim Romam profectus est.
For as he greeted me yesterday, he immediately set out for Rome.
§12.18.2epistulam quam ad Brutum, ut tibi placuerat, scripsi misi ad te.
I have sent to you the letter which I wrote to Brutus, as you had wished.
curabis cum tua perferendam.
You will see to it that it is delivered along with yours.
eius tamen misi ad te exemplum ut, si minus placeret, ne mitteres.
However, I sent you a copy of it so that, if it should please you less, you might not send it.
§12.18.3domestica quod ais ordine administrari scribes quae sint ea.
As to what you say about domestic affairs being administered in order, write to me what they are.
quaedam enim exspecto.
For there are certain things I am waiting for.
Cocceius vide ne frustretur.
See to it that Cocceius does not disappoint me.
nam Libo quod pollicetur, ut Eros scribit, non incertum puto.
For what Libo promises, as Eros writes, I think is not uncertain.
de sorte mea Sulpicio confido et Egnatio scilicet.
Regarding my share, I trust Sulpicius and of course Egnatius.
de Appuleio quid est quod labores, cum sit excusatio facilis?
Why should you trouble yourself about Appuleius, since his excuse is easy?
§12.18.4tibi ad me venire, ut ostendis, vide ne non sit facile.
As for your coming to me, as you suggest, see that it be not difficult.
est enim longum iter discedentemque te, quod celeriter tibi erit fortasse faciendum, non sine magno dolore dimittam.
For the journey is long, and when you depart, which you will perhaps have to do quickly, I shall not let you go without great pain.
sed omnia ut voles.
But everything as you wish.
ego enim quicquid feceris id cum recte tum etiam mea causa factum putabo.
For whatever you do, I shall think it done both rightly and also for my sake.