§12.14.1de me excusando apud Appuleium dederam ad te pridie litteras.
I sent a letter to you yesterday about excusing me to Appuleius.
nihil esse negoti arbitror.
I think there is no trouble.
quemcumque appellaris nemo negabit.
No one whom you call upon will refuse.
sed Septimium vide et Laenatem et Statilium; tribus enim opus est.
But see Septimius, Laenas, and Statilius; for three are needed.
sed mihi Laenas totum receperat.
Yet Laenas had undertaken the whole matter for me.
§12.14.2quod scribis a Iunio te appellatum, omnino Cornificius locuples est; sed tamen scire velim quando dicar spopondisse et pro patre anne pro filio.
As for what you write about being called upon by Junius, Cornificius is certainly wealthy; but still I should like to know when I am said to have become a surety, and whether for the father or for the son.
neque eo minus, ut scribis, procuratores Cornifici et Appuleium praediatorem videbis.
Nonetheless, as you write, you will see Cornificius's agents and Appuleius the land-agent.
§12.14.3quod me ab hoc maerore recreari vis, facis ut omnia; sed me mihi non defuisse tu testis es.
As for your wishing me to recover from this grief, you act as you always do; but you are witness that I have not been wanting to myself.
nihil enim de maerore minuendo scriptum ab ullo est quod ego non domi tuae legerim.
For nothing has been written by anyone about diminishing grief that I did not read at your house.
sed omnem consolationem vincit dolor.
But pain conquers all consolation.
quin etiam feci quod profecto ante me nemo ut ipse me per litteras consolarer.
Nay, I have even done what surely no one did before me, namely, console myself by writing.
quem librum ad te mittam, si descripserint librarii.
I will send that book to you if the copyists have transcribed it.
adfirmo tibi nullam consolationem esse talem.
I assure you there is no such consolation.
totos dies scribo, non quo proficiam quid sed tantisper impedior non equidem satis (vis enim urget),—sed relaxor tamen ad omniaque nitor non ad animum sed ad vultum ipsum, si queam, reficiendum idque faciens interdum mihi peccare videor, interdum peccaturus esse nisi faciam.
I write all day long, not that I make any progress, but for that time I am distracted—not indeed enough (for the violence of grief oppresses me), but yet I find relief, and I strive to restore, if I can, not my mind, but my very countenance. And in doing this, I sometimes seem to myself to do wrong, and sometimes that I shall do wrong unless I do so.
solitudo aliquid adiuvat, sed multo plus proficeret, si tu tamen interesses.
Solitude helps somewhat, but it would do much more good if you were here.
quae mihi una causa est hinc discedendi; nam pro malis recte habebat.
That is my only reason for leaving this place; for considering my misfortunes, it was quite suitable.
quamquam id ipsum doleo.
And yet I grieve for that very thing.
non enim iam in me idem esse poteris.
For you will no longer be able to be the same to me.
perierunt illa quae amabas.
Those things which you loved have perished.
§12.14.4de Bruti ad me litteris scripsi ad te antea.
I wrote to you before about Brutus's letter to me.
prudenter scriptae, sed nihil quod me adiuvarent.
It was prudently written, but of no help to me.
quod ad te scripsit id vellem, ut ipse adesset.
As for what he wrote to you, I wish that he himself were present.
certe aliquid, quoniam me tam valde amat, adiuvaret.
Surely, since he loves me so dearly, he would have been of some help.
quod si quid scies, scribas ad me velim, maxime autem Pansa quando.
But if you know anything, I would like you to write to me, and especially when Pansa leaves.
de Attica doleo, credo tamen Cratero.
I grieve for Attica, yet I trust Craterus.
Piliam angi veta.
Forbid Pilia to be anxious.
satis est me maerere pro omnibus.
It is enough that I mourn for everyone.