§11.15.1quoniam iustas causas adfers quor te hoc tempore videre non possim, quaeso, cogita quid sit mihi faciendum.
Since you bring forward just reasons why I cannot see you at this time, please consider what I ought to do.
ille enim ita videtur Alexandream tenere ut eum scribere etiam pudeat de illis rebus, hi autem ex Africa iam adfuturi videntur, Achaici, item ex Asia redituri ad eos aut libero aliquo loco commoraturi.
For that man seems to hold Alexandria in such a way that he is even ashamed to write about those matters, while these men seem to be about to arrive from Africa, those in Achaia, and likewise those from Asia who are about to return to them or to stay in some free place.
quid mihi igitur putas agendum? video difficile esse consilium.
What then do you think I should do? I see that advice is difficult.
sum enim solus aut cum altero cui neque ad illos reditus sit neque ab his ipsis quicquam ad spem ostendatur.
For I am alone or with just one other, who has no return to them, nor is anything shown by these very men for hope.
sed tamen scire velim quid censeas; idque erat cum aliis cur te, si fieri posset, cuperem videre.
But yet I would like to know what you think; and that was, along with other things, the reason why I wished to see you, if it could be done.
§11.15.2Minucium X_I_I_ sola curasse scripsi ad te antea.
I wrote to you before that Minucius had provided only twelve.
quod superest velim videas ut curetur.
As for what remains, I would like you to see that it is provided.
Quintus non modo non cum magna prece ad me sed acerbissime scripsit, filius vero mirifico odio.
Quintus wrote to me not only without great entreaty, but most bitterly, and his son indeed with wondrous hatred.
nihil fingi potest mali quo non urgear.
No evil can be imagined by which I am not beset.
omnia tamen sunt faciliora quam peccati dolor qui et maximus est et aeternus.
Yet all things are easier than the pain of my mistake, which is both greatest and eternal.
cuius peccati si socios essem habiturus ego quos putavi, tamen esset ea consolatio tenuis.
Even if I were to have had those whom I thought as companions in this mistake, yet that consolation would be thin.
sed habet aliorum omnium ratio exitum, mea nullum.
But the situation of all others has an exit, mine none.
alii capti, alii interclusi non veniunt in dubium de voluntate, eo minus scilicet cum se expedierint et una esse coeperint.
Some captured, others shut out, do not come into doubt regarding their goodwill, and even less so, of course, when they have extricated themselves and begun to be together.
ii autem ipsi qui sua voluntate ad Fufium venerunt nihil possunt nisi timidi existimari.
Even those very men who went to Fufius of their own free will can only be thought of as timid.
multi autem sunt qui, quocumque modo ad illos se recipere volent, recipientur.
But there are many who, in whatever way they wish to return to them, will be received.
quo minus debes mirari non posse me tanto dolori resistere.
Therefore you ought not to wonder that I cannot resist such great pain.
solius enim meum peccatum corrigi non potest et fortasse Laeli.
For my mistake alone cannot be corrected, and perhaps Laelius's.
sed quid me id levat? nam C. quidem Cassium aiunt consilium Alexandream eundi mutavisse.
But how does that relieve me? For they say that Gaius Cassius indeed has changed his plan of going to Alexandria.
§11.15.3haec ad te scribo, non ut †quem tuam demere† sollicitudinem sed ut cognoscam ecquid tu ad ea adferas quae me conficiunt; ad quae gener accedit et cetera quae fletu reprimor ne scribam.
I write these things to you, not † to take away your † anxiety, but so that I may know whether you bring anything to these things which consume me; to which my son-in-law is added, and other things which I am restrained by weeping from writing.
quin etiam Aesopi filius me excruciat.
Nay, even the son of Aesopus tortures me.
prorsus nihil abest quin sim miserrimus.
There is absolutely nothing wanting to make me most miserable.
sed ad primum revertor quid putes faciendum, occultene aliquo propius veniendum an mare transeundum.
But I return to the first point, what you think should be done, whether I should come closer secretly somewhere, or cross the sea.
nam hic maneri diutius non potest
For I cannot remain here any longer.
§11.15.4de Fufidianis qua re nihil potuit confici? genus enim condicionis eius modi fuit in quo non solet esse controversia, cum ea pars quae videtur esse minor licitatione expleri posset.
Why could nothing be settled concerning the Fufidian property? For the class of condition was of such a kind in which there is not usually any dispute, since that part which seems to be smaller could be filled up by bidding.
hoc ego non sine causa quaero.
I ask this not without cause.
suspicor enim coheredes dubiam nostram causam putare et eo rem in integro esse malle.
For I suspect that the co-heirs think our cause is doubtful, and therefore prefer the matter to remain entire.
vale.
Farewell.
Pr. Idus Maias.
May 14th.