§1.18.1nihil mihi nunc scito tam deesse quam hominem eum quocum omnia quae me cura aliqua adficiunt uno communicem, qui me amet, qui sapiat, quicum ego cum loquar, nihil fingam, nihil dissimulem, nihil obtegam.
Know that I now lack nothing so much as a man of that kind with whom I may share everything that affects me with any anxiety, who may love me, who may be wise, with whom when I speak, I may feign nothing, dissemble nothing, cover up nothing.
abest enim frater ἀφελέστατοσ et amantissimus.
For my brother, most simple-hearted and most loving, is absent.
†Metellus† non homo sed
"
litus atque a/er et so/litudo/ mera.
Metellus is not a man, but "shore and air and mere solitude.
"
tu autem qui saepissime curam et angorem animi mei sermone et consilio levasti tuo, qui mihi et in publica re socius et in privatis omnibus conscius et omnium meorum sermonum et consiliorum particeps esse soles, ubinam es? ita sum ab omnibus destitutus ut tantum requietis habeam quantum cum uxore et filiola et mellito Cicerone consumitur.
"But you, who so very often have relieved the care and anguish of my mind by your conversation and counsel, who are accustomed to be my partner in public affairs, my confidant in all private ones, and a sharer in all my conversations and plans, where on earth are you? I am so deserted by all that I have only as much of rest as is spent with my wife, my little daughter, and sweet Cicero.
nam illae ambitiosae nostrae fucosaeque amicitiae sunt in quodam splendore forensi, fructum domesticum non habent.
For those ambitious and deceitful friendships of ours are in a certain splendor of the forum, but they have no domestic fruit.
itaque cum bene completa domus est tempore matutino, cum ad forum stipati gregibus amicorum descendimus, reperire ex magna turba neminem possumus quocum aut iocari libere aut suspirare familiariter possimus.
Therefore, when the house is well filled in the morning, and when we go down to the forum accompanied by crowds of friends, we cannot find anyone out of that great throng with whom we can either joke freely or sigh familiarly.
qua re te exspectamus, te desideramus, te iam etiam arcessimus.
Therefore, we expect you, we miss you, we even now summon you.
multa sunt enim quae me sollicitant anguntque; quae mihi videor auris nactus tuas unius ambulationis sermone exhaurire posse.
For there are many things which trouble and anguish me, which I seem to be able to exhaust in the conversation of a single walk, if I have found your ears.
§1.18.2ac domesticarum quidem sollicitudinum aculeos omnis et scrupulos occultabo neque ego huic epistulae atque ignoto tabellario committam.
And indeed I will hide all the stings and anxieties of domestic cares, nor will I commit them to this letter and to an unknown courier.
atque hi (nolo enim te permoveri) non sunt permolesti, sed tamen insident et urgent et nullius amantis consilio aut sermone requiescunt; in re publica vero, quamquam animus est praesens, tamen †voluntas etiam atque etiam ipsa medicina efficit†.
And these (for I do not wish you to be disturbed) are not very troublesome, but yet they settle in and press upon me, and find no rest in the counsel or conversation of any loving friend; in public affairs, however, although my courage is ready, yet [will again and again itself makes medicine].
nam ut ea breviter quae post tuum discessum acta sunt conligam, iam exclames necesse est res Romanas diutius stare non posse.
For to gather briefly what has been done since your departure, you must now cry out that Roman affairs cannot stand any longer.
etenim post profectionem tuam primus, ut opinor, introitus fuit in causam fabulae Clodianae, in qua ego nactus, ut mihi videbar, locum resecandae libidinis et coercendae iuventutis vehemens fui et omnis profudi viris animi atque ingeni mei non odio adductus alicuius sed spe corrigendae et sanandae civitatis.
For indeed, after your departure, the first entry, as I think, was made into the cause of the Clodian scandal, in which I, having found, as I thought, an opportunity for cutting back lust and restraining the youth, was vehement and poured forth all the strength of my mind and genius, not led by hatred of anyone, but in the hope of correcting and healing the state.