§9.15.1duabus tuis epistulis respondebo, uni, quam quadriduo ante acceperam a Zetho, alteri, quam attulerat Phileros tabellarius.
I will reply to your two letters, to the one which I had received four days before from Zethus, to the other which Phileros the letter-carrier had brought.
ex prioribus tuis litteris inteflexi pergratam tibi esse curam meam valetudinis tuae, quam tibi perspectam esse gaudeo; sed, mihi crede, non perinde, ut est reapse, ex litteris perspicere potuisti.
From your former letter I understood that my care for your health is very pleasing to you, which I am glad is clear to you; but, believe me, you could not perceive it from my letter in the same degree as it is in reality.
nam cum a satis multis (non enim possum aliter dicere) et coli me videam et diligi, nemo est illorum omnium mihi te iucundior.
For though I see that I am both respected and loved by a sufficiently large number (for I cannot speak otherwise), there is no one of all of them more pleasant to me than you.
nam quod me amas, quod id et iam pridem et constanter facis, est id quidem magnum atque haud scio an maximum, sed tibi commune cum multis; quod tu ipse tam amandus es tamque dulcis tamque in omni genere iucundus, id est proprie tuum.
For that you love me, and that you do this both for a long time now and constantly, is indeed a great thing and I suspect even the greatest, but it is common to you with many; that you yourself are so worthy of love, so sweet, and so pleasant in every way, that is peculiarly your own.
§9.15.2accedunt non Attici, sed salsiores quam illi Atticorum Romani veteres atque urbani sales.
To this are added wits, not Attic, but sharper than those of the Athenians, the old Roman and urban wits.
ego autem (existimes licet quidlibet) mirifice capior facetiis maxime nostratibus, praesertim cum eas videam primum oblitas Latio tum, cum in urbem nostram est infusa peregrinitas, nunc vero etiam bracatis et Transalpinis nationibus, ut nullum veteris leporis vestigium appareat.
But I (you may think what you please) am wonderfully captivated by witticisms, especially our own, particularly when I see that they have been forgotten first by Latium at the time when foreign ways were poured into our city, and now indeed even by the breeched and Transalpine nations, so that no trace of the old charm appears.
itaque te cum video, omnis mihi Granios, omnis Lucilios, vere ut dicam, Crassos quoque et Laelios videre videor.
And so when I see you, I seem to myself to see all the Granii, all the Lucilii, and, to speak truly, the Crassi and Laelii as well.
moriar, si praeter te quemquam reliquum habeo, in quo possim imaginem antiquae et vernaculae festivitatis agnoscere.
May I die if I have anyone left besides you in whom I can recognize the image of ancient and home-bred pleasantry.
ad hos lepores cum amor erga me tantus accedat, miraris me tanta perturbatione valetudinis tuae tam graviter exanimatum fuisse?
Since so great a love toward me is added to these charms, do you wonder that I was so seriously disheartened by so great an anxiety over your health?
§9.15.3quod autem altera epistula purgas te non dissuasorem mihi emptionis Neapolitanae fuisse sed auctorem moderationis, urbane, neque ego aliter accepi; intellexi tamen idem, quod his intellego litteris, non existimasse te mihi licere, id quod ego arbitrabar, res has non omnino quidem sed magnam partem relinquere.
As to your excusing yourself in your other letter that you were not a dissuader of the Neapolitan purchase to me, but an adviser of moderation, you do so urbanely, nor did I take it otherwise; yet I understood the same thing that I understand from this letter, namely that you did not think that I was permitted, as I myself believed, to leave these matters, not indeed entirely, but to a great extent.
Catulum mihi narras et illa tempora.
You tell me of Catulus and those times.
quid simile?' ne mi quidem ipsi tunc placebat diutius abesse ab rei p.
What is there similar?
custodia; sedebamus enim in puppi et clavum tenebamus; nunc autem vix est in sentina locus.
Indeed, not even to myself did it then please to be absent longer from the guardianship of the republic; for we were sitting in the stern and holding the rudder; but now there is scarcely room in the bilge.
§9.15.4an minus multa s. c. futura putas, si ego sim Neapoli? Romae cum sum et urgeo forum, s.
Or do you think that there will be fewer decrees of the senate if I am at Naples?
c. scribuntur apud amatorem tuum, familiarem meum; et quidem, cum in mentem venit, ponor ad scribendum et ante audio s. c. in Armeniam et Syriam esse perlatum, quod in meam sententiam factum esse dicatur, quam omnino mentionem ullam de ea re esse factam.
When I am in Rome and frequent the forum, senate decrees are written at the house of your admirer, my friend; and indeed, when it comes into their mind, I am set down as a writer, and I hear that a senate decree has been carried to Armenia and Syria, which is said to have been made according to my motion, before any mention at all was made of that matter.
atque hoc nolim me iocari putes; nam mihi scito iam a regibus ultimis adlatas esse litteras, quibus mihi gratias agant, quod se mea sententia reges appellaverim, quos ego non modo reges appellatos, sed omnino natos nesciebam.
And I would not wish you to think that I am joking about this; for know that letters have already been brought to me from the most distant kings, in which they thank me because they were called kings on my motion, whom I not only did not know had been called kings, but did not even know had been born at all.
§9.15.5quid ergo est? tamen quam diu hic erit noster hic praefectus moribus, parebo auctoritati tuae;
What is it then?
quom vero aberit, ad fungos me tuos conferam.
Yet as long as this censor of ours is here, I will obey your authority; but when he is away, I will betake myself to your mushrooms.
domum si habebo, in denos dies singulos sumptuariae legis dies conferam; sin autem minus invenero quod placeat, decrevi habitare apud te; scio enim me nihil tibi gratius facere posse.
If I have a house, I will apply each of the days to the ten days of the sumptuary law; but if I find less of what pleases me, I have resolved to live with you; for I know that I can do nothing more pleasing to you.
domum Sullanam desperabam iam, ut tibi proxime scripsi, sed tamen non abieci.
I was already despairing of Sulla's house, as I wrote to you recently, but yet I have not thrown it away.
tu velim, ut scribis, cum fabris eam perspicias; si enim nihil est in parietibus aut in tecto viti, cetera mihi probabuntun
I would like you, as you write, to inspect it with the carpenters; for if there is no defect in the walls or in the roof, the other things will be approved of by me.