§6.21.1etsi cum haec ad te scribebam, aut appropinquare exitus huius calamitosissimi belli aut iam aliquid actum et confectum videbatur, tamen cotidie commemorabam te unum in tanto exercitu mihi fuisse adsensorem et me tibi, solosque nos vidisse quantum esset in eo bello mali, in quo spe pacis exclusa ipsa victoria futura esset acerbissima, quae aut interitum adlatura esset, si victus esses, aut si vicisses, servitutem.
Even though when I was writing this to you, it seemed that either the end of this most disastrous war was approaching or something had already been done and settled, yet every day I kept recalling that you alone in so great an army had been my supporter and I yours, and that we alone had seen how much evil there was in that war, in which, with the hope of peace shut out, victory itself was bound to be most bitter, bringing as it would either ruin, if you were defeated, or slavery, if you won.
itaque ego, quem tum fortes illi viri et sapientes, Domitii et Lentuli, timidum esse dicebant (eram plane; timebam enim ne evenirent ea quae acciderunt), idem nunc nihil timeo et ad omnem eventum paratus sum.
Therefore I, whom those brave and wise men back then, the Domitii and Lentuli, used to call timid (I plainly was; for I feared lest those things which have happened should come to pass), now, as the very same person, fear nothing and am prepared for every outcome.
Cum aliquid videbatur caveri posse, tum id neglegi dolebam; nunc vero eversis omnibus rebus, cum consilio profici nihil possit, una ratio videtur, quicquid evenerit, ferre moderate, praesertim cum omnium rerum mors sit extremum et mihi sim conscius me, quoad licuerit, dignitati rei p. consuluisse et hac amissa salutem retinere voluisse.
When it seemed that something could be guarded against, I grieved that it was neglected; but now, when everything is overturned and nothing can be achieved by planning, the only course seems to be to bear moderately whatever happens, especially since death is the ultimate limit of all things and I am conscious within myself that, as far as was permitted, I consulted the dignity of the state and, after this was lost, wished to preserve our safety.
§6.21.2haec scripsi, non ut de me ipse dicerem, sed ut tu, qui coniunctissima fuisti mecum et sententia et voluntate, eadem cogitares.
I have written this, not to speak of myself, but so that you, who have been most closely joined with me both in opinion and in will, should think the same.
Magna enim consolatio est cum recordare, etiamsi secus acciderit, te tamen recte vereque sensisse.
For it is a great consolation when you remember, even if things have turned out otherwise, that you nevertheless thought rightly and truly.
atque utinam liceat aliquando aliquo rei p. statu nos frui inter nosque conferre sollicitudines nostras, quas pertulimus tum cum timidi putabamur, quia dicebamus ea futura quae facta sunt.
And would that we might someday enjoy some state of the republic and compare between ourselves our anxieties, which we endured back then when we were thought timid, because we said those things would happen which have indeed come to pass.
§6.21.3de tuis rebus nihil esse quod timeas praeter universae rei p. interitum tibi confirmo; de me autem sic velim iudices, quantum ego possim, me tibi, saluti tuae liberisque tuis summo cum studio praesto semper futurum.
As for your affairs, I assure you that there is nothing for you to fear except the destruction of the entire state; and as for me, I would wish you to judge that, as far as I am able, I will always be at hand for you, for your safety, and for your children, with the greatest zeal.
vale.
Farewell.