§5.21.1gratae mihi tuae litterae fuerunt; ex quibus intellexi, quod etiam sine litteris arbitrabar, te summa cupiditate adfectum esse videndi mei.
Your letter was pleasing to me; from which I understood, what I also thought even without a letter, that you are possessed by the greatest desire to see me.
quod ego ita libenter accipio, ut tamen tibi non concedam; nam tecum esse, ita mihi commoda omnia quae opto, contingant, ut vehementer velim! etenim, cum esset maior et virorum et civium bonorum et iucundorum hominum et amantium mei copia, tamen erat nemo, quicum essem libentius quam tecum, et pauci, quibuscum essem aeque libenter; hoc vero tempore cum alii interierint, alii absint, alii mutati voluntate sint, unum medius fidius tecum diem libentius posuerim quam hoc omne tempus cum plerisque eorum, quibuscum vivo necessario.
I accept this so gladly that, nevertheless, I do not yield to you; for so may all the comforts that I pray for fall to my lot, as I vehemently desire to be with you! For indeed, when there was a greater abundance of both excellent men, good citizens, pleasant people, and those who loved me, yet there was no one with whom I would be more gladly than with you, and few with whom I would be equally gladly; but at this time, when some have perished, others are absent, and others have changed in their feelings, by Heavens, I would more gladly spend a single day with you than all this time with most of those with whom I am forced to live.
noli enim existimare mihi non solitudinem iucundiorem esse, qua tamen ipsa uti non licet, quam sermones eorum, qui frequentant domum meam, excepto uno aut summum altero.
For do not think that solitude itself—which however one is not allowed to enjoy—is not more pleasant to me than the conversations of those who frequent my house, with the exception of one or at most another.
§5.21.2itaque utor eodem perfugio, quo tibi utendum censeo, litterulis nostris, praeterea conscientia etiam consiliorum meorum.
Therefore I use the same refuge which I think you ought to use, our little letters, and besides also the consciousness of my own counsels.
ego enim is sum, quem ad modum tu facillime potes existimare, qui nihil umquam mea potius quam meorum civium causa fecerim.
For I am such a person, as you can most easily judge, as to have never done anything for my own sake rather than for the sake of my fellow citizens.
cui nisi invidisset is, quem tu numquam amasti (me enim amabas), et ipse beatus esset et omnes boni.
If he whom you never loved (for you loved me) had not envied this, both he himself would be happy and all good men.
ego sum, qui nullius vim plus valere volui quam honestum otium idemque, cum illa ipsa arma, quae semper timueram, plus posse sensi quam illum consensum bonorum, quem ego idem effeceram, quavis tuta condicione pacem accipere malui quam viribus cum valentiore pugnare.
I am he who wished no one's violence to have more power than honorable leisure, and likewise, when I perceived that those very arms which I had always feared had more power than that consensus of good men which I myself had brought about, I preferred to accept peace on any safe condition rather than to fight with strength against a stronger opponent.
sed et haec et multa alia coram brevi tempore licebit.
But both these things and many others we shall soon be allowed to discuss in person.
§5.21.3neque me tamen ulla res alia Romae tenet nisi exspectatio rerum Africanarum; videtur enim mihi res in propinquum adducta discrimen.
Yet no other thing holds me in Rome except the expectation of African affairs; for the matter seems to me to have been brought to an imminent crisis.
puto autem mea non nihil interesse, quamquam id ipsum, quid intersit, non sane intellego, verum tamen, quicquid illinc nuntiatum sit, non longe abesse a consiliis amicorum.
Moreover, I think it is of some importance to me, although I do not clearly understand what that importance is, yet nevertheless, whatever may be announced from there, that I should not be far from the counsels of my friends.
est enim res iam in eum locum adducta, ut, quamquam multum intersit inter eorum causas qui dimicant, tamen inter victorias non multum interfuturum putem.
For the matter has now been brought to such a point that, although there is a great difference between the causes of those who are fighting, yet I think there will not be much difference between their victories.
sed plane animus, qui dubiis rebus forsitan fuerit infirmior, desperatis confirmatus est multum; quem etiam tuae superiores litterae confirmarunt, quibus intellexi, quam fortiter iniuriam ferres; iuvitque me tibi cum summam humanitatem tum etiam tuas litteras profuisse.
But clearly my mind, which perhaps was weaker in uncertain times, has been greatly strengthened now that things are desperate; which also your previous letter strengthened, from which I understood how bravely you were bearing your injury; and it pleased me that both your supreme refinement and also your letters were of benefit to you.
verum enim scribam: teneriore mihi animo videbare sicut omnes fere, qui vitam ingenuam in beata civitate et in libera re p. viximus.
For I will write the truth: you seemed to me to be of a somewhat tenderer mind, just as almost all of us who have lived an honorable life in a happy state and in a free republic.
§5.21.4sed, ut illa secunda moderate tulimus, sic hanc non solum adversam sed funditus eversam fortunam fortiter ferre debemus, ut hoc saltem in maximis malis boni consequamur, ut mortem, quam etiam beati contemnere debebamus, propterea quod nullum sensum esset habitura, nunc sic adfecti non modo contemnere debeamus sed etiam optare.
But, as we bore those prosperous times with moderation, so we ought to bear bravely this fortune which is not only adverse but utterly overturned, so that we may obtain at least this much good in the greatest evils: that death, which even in happiness we ought to have despised because it would have no sensation, we now, being so afflicted, ought not only to despise but even to desire.
§5.21.5tu, si me diligis, fruere isto otio tibique persuade praeter culpam ac peccatum, qua semper caruisti et carebis, homini accidere nihil posse quod sit inhonorabile aut pertimescendum.
If you love me, enjoy that leisure of yours, and persuade yourself that, except for fault and sin, which you have always been and will be free from, nothing can happen to a human being which is dishonorable or to be dreaded.
ego, si videbitur recte fieri posse, ad te. veniam brevi; si quid acciderit, ut mutandum consilium sit, te certiorem faciam statim.
If it seems that it can be done properly, I shall come to you shortly; if anything happens so that the plan must be changed, I will let you know immediately.
tu ita fac cupidus mei videndi sis, ut istinc te ne moveas tam infirma valetudine, nisi ex me prius quaesieris per litteras quid te velim facere.
Do you restrict your eagerness to see me in such a way that you do not stir from where you are with such weak health, unless you first ask me by letter what I wish you to do.
me velim, ut facis, diligas valetudinique tuae et tranquillitati animi servias.
I would have you love me, as you do, and attend to your health and tranquility of mind.