§3.10.5illud vero mihi permirum accidit, tantam temeritatem fuisse in eo adulescente, cuius ego salutem in duobus capitis iudiciis summa contentione defendi, ut tuis inimicitiis suscipiendis oblivisceretur prope omnium fortunarum ac rationum suarum, praesertim cum tu omnibus vel ornamentis vel praesidiis redundares, ipsi, ut levissime dicam, multa dessent.
Indeed, it happened to me as a very strange thing that there was such great rashness in that young man, whose life I defended with the greatest effort in two capital trials, that by undertaking hostility against you he forgot almost all his fortunes and interests, especially since you abounded in every honor and protection, while he himself, to say the least, lacked many things.
cuius sermo stultus et puerilis erat iam ante ad me a M. Caelio, familiari nostro, perscriptus; de quo item sermone multa scripta sunt abs te.
His foolish and childish speech had already been written to me before by our friend Marcus Caelius; and of that same speech many things were also written by you.
ego autem citius cum eo, qui tuas inimicitias suscepisset, veterem coniunctionem diremissem quam novam conciliassem; neque enim de meo erga te studio dubitare debes, neque id est obscurum cuiquam in provincia nec Romae fuit.
But I would have broken off an old connection with one who had undertaken hostility against you more quickly than I would have formed a new one; for you ought not to doubt my zeal toward you, nor is that obscure to anyone in the province, nor was it in Rome.
§3.10.6sed tamen significatur in tuis litteris suspicio quaedam et dubitatio tua, de qua alienum tempus est mihi tecum expostulandi, purgandi autem mei necessarium.
But yet, a certain suspicion and hesitation on your part is indicated in your letter, concerning which it is an unsuitable time for me to expostulate with you, but necessary for me to clear myself.
Ubi enim ego cuiquam legationi fui impedimento, quo minus Romam ad laudem tuam mitteretur? aut in quo potui, si te palam odissem, minus quod tibi obesset facere, si clam, magis aperte inimicus esse? quod si essem ea perfidia, qua sunt ii, qui in nos haec conferunt, tamen ea stultitia certe non fuissem, ut aut in obscuro odio apertas inimicitias aut, in quo tibi nihil nocerem, summam ostenderem voluntatem nocendi.
For when was I an obstacle to any embassy, to prevent its being sent to Rome for your honor? Or in what could I, if I hated you openly, have done less to hurt you, or if secretly, have been more openly hostile? But if I were of that perfidiousness which those are who bring these charges against us, yet I certainly would not have been of such foolishness as to show either open hostility in secret hatred, or a supreme desire to hurt in a matter where I could do you no harm.
ad me adire quosdam memini, nimirum ex Epicteto, qui dicerent nimis magnos sumptus legatis decerni.
I remember that some came to me, surely from Epictetus, to say that too great expenses were decreed for the ambassadors.
quibus ego non tam imperavi quam censui sumptus legatis quam maxime ad legem Corneliam decernendos; atque in eo ipso me non perseverasse testes sunt rationes civitatum, in quibus, quantum quaeque voluit, legatis tuis datum.
To them I did not so much command as advise that expenses should be decreed for the ambassadors as much as possible according to the Cornelian law; and that I did not persist in that very thing, the accounts of the states are witnesses, in which each entered, as given to your ambassadors, as much as it wished.
induxit. §3.10.7te autem quibus mendaciis homines levissimi onerarunt! non modo sublatos sumptus, sed etiam a procuratoribus eorum, qui iam profecti essent, repetitos et ablatos, eamque causam multis omnino non eundi fuisse.
But with what lies have very light men loaded you! Not only that the expenses were withdrawn, but even demanded back and taken away from the agents of those who had already set out, and that this was the cause for many of not going at all.
quererer tecum atque expostularem, ni, ut supra scripsi, purgare me tibi hoc tuo tempore quam accusare te mallem idque putarem esse rectius.
I would complain with you and expostulate, if, as I wrote above, I did not prefer to clear myself to you at this time of yours rather than to accuse you, and thought that to be more proper.
itaque nihil de te, quod credideris, de me, quam ob rem non debueris credere, pauca dicam.
Therefore, I will say nothing of you, because you believed, and a few words about myself, why you ought not to have believed.
nam si me virum bonum, si dignum iis studiis eaque doctrina, cui me a pueritia dedi, si satis magni animi, non minimi consili in maximis rebus perspectum habes, nihil in me non modo perfidiosum et insidiosum et fallax in amicitia, sed ne humile quidem aut ieiunum debes agnoscere.
For if you have perceived me to be a good man, worthy of those studies and that learning to which I have given myself from boyhood, of a sufficiently great mind, and of no small counsel in the greatest affairs, you ought to recognize in me nothing, I do not say perfidious and insidious and deceitful in friendship, but not even mean or sterile.
§3.10.8sin autem me astutum et occultum libet fingere, quid est quod minus cadere in eius modi naturam possit quam aut florentissimi hominis aspernari benevolentiam aut eius existimationem oppugnare in provincia, cuius laudem domi defenderis, aut in ea re animum ostendere inimicum, in qua nihil obsis, aut id eligere ad perfidiam, quod ad indicandum odium apertissimum sit, ad nocendum levissimum? quid erat autem cur ego in te tam implacabilis essem, cum te ex fratre meo ne tunc quidem, cum tibi prope necesse esset eas agere partis, inimicum mihi fuisse cognossem? Cum vero reditum nostrum in gratiam uterque expetisset, quid in consulatu tuo frustra mecum egisti, quod me aut facere aut sentire voluisses? quid mihi mandasti, cum te Puteolos prosequerer, in quo non exspectationem tuam diligentia mea
But if you please to imagine me cunning and secret, what is there that could less fit a character of that kind than either to reject the goodwill of a most flourishing man, or to attack in the province the reputation of one whose honor you defended at home, or to show a hostile mind in that matter in which you do no harm, or to choose for perfidy that which is most open for indicating hatred, and lightest for doing harm? And what reason was there why I should be so implacable toward you, when I had learned from my brother that you, even at that time when it was almost necessary for you to play that part, had not been hostile to me? Indeed, when each of us had sought our return to favor, what did you negotiate with me in vain during your consulship, which you would have wished me either to do or to think? What did you commission me, when I escorted you to Puteoli, in which with my diligence your expectation...