§15.21.1et epistulam tuam legi libenter et librum libentissime; sed tamen in ea voluptate hunc accepi dolorem, quod, cum incendisses cupiditatem meam consuetudinis augendae nostrae (nam ad amorem quidem nihil poterat accedere), tum discedis a nobis meque tanto desiderio adficis, ut unam mihi consolationem relinquas, fore ut utriusque nostrum absentis desiderium crebris et longis epistulis leniatur; quod ego non modo de me tibi spondere possum sed de te etiam mihi; nullam enim apud me reliquisti dubitationem quantum me amares.
I read both your letter with pleasure and your book with the greatest pleasure; yet in that pleasure I received this pain, that, just when you had inflamed my desire to increase our intimacy (for indeed nothing could be added to my love), you then depart from us and affect me with such great longing that you leave me but one consolation, that the longing of each of us in our absence will be softened by frequent and long letters; which I can promise you not only on my part, but also on your part to myself; for you have left no doubt in my mind how much you love me.
§15.21.2nam ut illa omittam quae civitate teste fecisti, cum mecum inimicitias communicavisti, cum me contionibus tuis defendisti, cum quaestor in mea atque in publica causa consulum partis suscepisti, cum tribuno plebis quaestor non paruisti, cui tuus praesertim conlega pareret, ut haec recentia quae meminero semper obliviscar, quae tua sollicitudo de me in armis, quae laetitia in reditu, quae cura, qui dolor, quom ad te curae et dolores mei perferrentur, Brundisium denique te ad me venturum fuisse, nisi subito in Hispaniam missus esses—ut haec igitur omittam quae mihi tanti aestimanda sunt quanti vitam aestimo et salutem meam, liber iste, quem mihi misisti, quantam habet declarationem amoris tui! primum quod tibi facetum videtur, quicquid ego dixi, quod aliis fortasse non item;
For, to omit those things which you did with the citizens as witnesses, when you shared your enmities with me, when you defended me in your public assemblies, when as quaestor in my cause and that of the public you took up the part of the consuls, when as quaestor you did not obey the tribune of the plebs, whom especially your colleague obeyed, to pass over these recent things which I shall always remember, your anxiety about me during the war, your joy at my return, your care, your grief when my cares and griefs were brought to you, and finally, that you would have come to me at Brundisium if you had not suddenly been sent to Spain—to omit these things, therefore, which must be valued by me as much as I value my life and safety, how great a declaration of your love does that book contain which you sent to me!
deinde quod illa, sive faceta sunt sive sic, fiunt narrante te venustissima; quin etiam ante quam ad me veniatur, risus omnis paene consumitur.
First, because whatever I said seems witty to you, which to others perhaps does not seem so; secondly, because those things, whether they are witty or otherwise, become most charming when you narrate them; indeed, even before one gets to me, almost all the laughter is consumed.
§15.21.3quod si in iis scribendis nihil aliud nisi quod necesse fuit de uno me tam diu cogitavisses, ferreus essem si te non amarem; cum vero ea quae scriptura persecutus es sine summo amore cogitare non potueris, non possum existimare plus quemquam a se ipso quam me a te amari.
But if, in writing those things, you had thought of me alone for so long, with no other purpose than what was necessary, I should be made of iron if I did not love you; since, however, you could not have thought of those things which you pursued in your writing without the greatest love, I cannot think that anyone is loved more by himself than I am by you.
cui quidem ego amori utinam ceteris rebus possem amore certe respondebo, quo tamen ipso tibi confido futurum satis.
To this love, indeed, would that I could respond in all other matters, but I will certainly respond with love, with which very thing, however, I trust you will be satisfied.
§15.21.4nunc ad epistulam venio, cui copiose et suaviter scriptae nihil est quod multa respondeam.
Now I come to your letter, to which, written as it is copiously and sweetly, there is no need for me to reply at length.
primum enim ego illas Calvo litteras misi non plus quam has, quas nunc legis, existimans exituras; aliter enim scribimus quod eos solos quibus mittimus, aliter quod multos lecturos putamus; deinde ingenium eius melioribus extuli laudibus quam tu id vere potuisse fieri putas, primum quod ita iudicabam: acute movebatur, genus quoddam sequebatur, in quo iudicio lapsus, quo valebat, tamen adsequebatur quod probaret; multae erant et reconditae litterae, vis non erat; ad eam igitur adhortabar; in excitando autem et in acuendo plurimum valet, si laudes eum quem cohortere.
For first, I sent those letters to Calvus expecting them to get out no more than these which you are now reading; for we write in one way what we think those alone to whom we send will read, and in another way what we think many will read; secondly, I extolled his genius with higher praise than you think could truly be done, first because I so judged: he was moved acutely, he followed a certain style, in which, though he slipped in judgment, in which he was strong, yet he attained what he approved; his learning was great and recondite, but force was lacking; to that, therefore, I exhorted him; moreover, in exciting and sharpening, it is of the greatest value if you praise him whom you exhort.
habes de Calvo iudicium et consilium meum, consilium, quod hortandi causa laudavi, iudicium, quod de ingenio eius valde existimavi bene.
You have my judgment and my plan regarding Calvus; my plan, in that I praised him for the sake of exhorting him, and my judgment, in that I thought extremely well of his genius.
§15.21.5reliquum est tuam profectionem amore prosequar, reditum spe exspectem, absentem memoria colam, omne desiderium litteris mittendis accipiendisque leniam.
It remains that I should follow your departure with love, expect your return with hope, cherish your absence with memory, and soften all longing by sending and receiving letters.
tu velim tua in me studia et officia multum tecum recordere.
I would wish that you would recall much with yourself your affection and services toward me.
quae cum tibi liceat, mihi nefas sit oblivisci, non modo virum bonum me existimabis verum etiam te a me amari plurimum iudicabis.
Since it is permitted for you to remember these, while it would be a sin for me to forget them, you will not only consider me a good man, but also judge that you are loved by me to the highest degree.
vale.
Farewell.