§1Perparvam partem postulat Plautus loci §2de vestris magnis atque amoenis moenibus, §3Athenas quo sine architectis conferat.
Plautus asks for a very small part of this space, from your great and beautiful city-walls, whither, without architects, he may transport Athens.
§4quid nunc? daturin estis an non? adnuont.
What now? Are you going to give it or not? They nod.
I know indeed that I shall carry off the city's substance without delay; what if I should ask for something of yours? They shake their heads.
Well, by Hercules, the old customs remain in you, that you use a swift tongue for denying.
§9sed hoc agamus quá huc ventumst gratia.
But let us attend to this business for which we have come here.
I shall change this proscenium into Athens, just for so long as we are acting this comedy.
§12hic habitat mulier, nomen cui est Phronesium; §13haec huius saecli mores in se possidet: §14numquam ab amatore postulat id quod datumst, §15sed relicuom dat operam ne sit relicuom, §16poscendo atque auferendo, ut mos est mulierum; §17nam omnes id faciunt, cum se amari intellegunt.
Here dwells a woman whose name is Phronesium; she possesses in herself the manners of this age: she never demands from a lover what has already been given, but she takes care that what is left outstanding does not remain outstanding, by demanding and taking away, as is the way of women; for they all do this when they perceive that they are loved.
She pretends to a soldier that she has given birth to a boy, so that she may more quickly sweep away his property from him, dust and all.
§20quid multa? †stuic superet muliere §21†hiscum anima ad eum habenti erce teritur. §22Non omnis aetas ad perdiscendum sat est §23amanti, dum id perdiscat, quot pereat modis; §24neque eam rationem eapse umquam educet Venus, §25quam penes amantum summa summarum redit, §26quot amans exemplis ludificetur, quot modis §27pereat quotque exoretur exorabulis: §28quot illíc blanditiae, quót illic iracundiae §29sunt, quot supplicia danda, di vostram fidem, hui, §30quid perierandum est etiam, praeter munera: §31primumdum merces annua, is primus bolust, §32ob eam tres noctes dantur; interea loci §33†aut ara aut vinum aut oleum aut triticum, §34temptat benignusne an bonae frugi sies: §35quasi in piscinam rete qui iaculum parat, §36quando abiit rete pessum, adducit lineam; §37si inierit rete piscis, ne effugiat cavet: §38dum huc dum illuc rete circumvortit, impedit §39piscis usque adeo donicum eduxit foras.
To make a long story short? †...† †...† Not all a lifetime is enough for a lover to learn thoroughly, while he learns it, in how many ways he may perish; nor will Venus herself ever work out that calculation, in whose hands the sum of sums of lovers returns, by how many examples a lover is played with, in how many ways he perishes, and by how many entreaties he is won over: how many flatteries are there, how many fits of anger, how many penalties to be paid—heavens above!—alas, what perjury must also be committed, besides the gifts: first of all, the annual payment, that is the first catch, for which three nights are given; in the meantime †either altar or wine or oil or wheat,† she tests whether you are generous or of good thrift: just as he who prepares to throw a net into a fishpond, when the net has gone to the bottom, draws in the line; if a fish has entered the net, he takes care lest it escape: while he turns the net this way and that, he entangles the fish, until at last he draws it out.
§40itidem si amator id quod oratur dedit §41atque est benignus potius quam frugi bonae §42, §43si semel amoris poculum accepit meri §44eaque intra pectus se penetravit potio, §45extemplo et ipsus periit et res et fides.
In the same way, if a lover has given what is asked, and is generous rather than of good thrift,, if once he has received the cup of pure love, and that potion has penetrated within his breast, immediately he himself perishes, and his wealth, and his reputation.
§46si iratum scortumst forte amatori suo, §47bis perit amator, ab re atque ab animo simul; §48sin alter altri propitiust, idem perit: §49si raras noctes ducit, ab animo perit; §50sin crebras ducit, ipsus gaudet, res perit.
If by chance a courtesan is angry with her lover, the lover perishes twice, from his property and from his mind at the same time; but if the one is favorable to the other, he perishes just the same: if he spends rare nights, he perishes in his mind; but if he spends frequent ones, he himself rejoices, but his property perishes.
§50a†iteca in aedibus lenosis† §51prius quam únum dederis, centum quae poscat parat: §52aut periit aurum aút conscissa pallula est §53aut empta ancilla aut aliquod vasum argenteum §54aut vasum ahenum antiquom aut lectus †laptiles §55aut armariola Graeca, aut aliquid semper est §56quod † petra debeatque amans scorto suo.
†... in bawdy houses† before you have given one thing, she prepares a hundred to ask for: either the gold is lost, or her mantle is torn, or a maidservant must be bought, or some silver vessel, or an ancient bronze vessel, or a †...† bed, or Greek casket, or there is always something which †...† and which the lover must owe to his courtesan.
§57atque haec celamus nos clam magna industria, §58quom rem fidemque nosque nosmet perdimus, §59ne qui parentes neu cognati sentiant; §60quos cum celamus si faximus conscios, §61qui nostrae aetati tempestivo temperent, §62unde anteparta demus postpartoribus, §62afaxim lenonum et scortorum † plus est §63et minus damnosorum hominum quam nunc sunt siet.
And we conceal these things secretly with great industry, when we are ruining our property, our credit, and our very selves, lest any parents or relatives should perceive it; but if we, who conceal them, should make them aware, who might seasonably restrain our youth, so that we might hand down what was acquired before to our successors, I would warrant that the quantity of procurers and courtesans †...† and of ruinous men would be less than they are now.
For now there is almost a greater abundance of procurers and courtesans, than there is of flies in summer when it is hottest.
§66nam nusquam alibi si sunt, circum argentarias §67scorta et lenones qui sedent cottidie, §68ea nimia est ratio; quippe qui certo scio, §69ibi plus scortorum esse iam quam ponderum.
For if they are nowhere else, around the banking-stalls courtesans and procurers sit daily, that number is excessive; since indeed I know for certain that there are more courtesans there now than weights.
§70quos quidem quam ád rem dicam in argentariis §71referre habere, nisi pro tabulis, nescio, §72ubi aera perscribantur usuraria: §73accepta dico, expensa ne qui censeat.
Indeed, for what purpose I should say they have a record at the bankers, except instead of account-books, I do not know, where interest-bearing debts are written down: I mean receipts; let no one think them expenditures.