§753ni offerumentas habebis pluris in tergo tuo, §754quam ulla navis longa clavos, tum ego ero mendacissimus:
If you do not have more stripes on your back than any warship has nails, then I will be the greatest liar.
§755postea aspicito meum, quando ego tuom inspectavero: §756ní erit tam sincerum, ut quivis dicat ampullarius §757optimum esse operi faciundo corium et sincerissimum, §758quid causae est quin virgis te usque ad saturitatem sauciem?
Afterwards, look at mine, when I have inspected yours: if it is not so flawless that any leather-bottle maker would say it is the best and cleanest hide for making his wares, what reason is there why I should not lash you with rods to your heart's content?
§759quid illas spectas? quas si attigeris, oculos eripiam tibi.
Why do you stare at them? If you touch them, I will tear your eyes out.
§760At qui, quia votas, utramque iam mecum abducam simul.
Labrax: But indeed, because you forbid it, I will now lead away both of them with me at the same time.
§761Quid facies?
Trachalio: What will you do?
§761bVolcanum adducam, is Venerist adversarius.
Labrax: I will bring Vulcan; he is the adversary of Venus.
§762Quo illic it?
Trachalio: Where is he going?
§762bHeus, ecquis hic est? heus.
Labrax: Ho! Is anyone here? Ho!
Daemones: If you touch the door, Daemones: instantly, by Hercules, a harvest will be made on your face with bundles of fists.
§764Nullum habemus ignem, ficis victitamus aridis.
Daemones: We have no fire; we live on dry figs.
§765Ego dabo ignem, siquidem in capite tuo conflandi copiast.
Labrax: I will provide the fire, if indeed there is an opportunity to kindle it on your head.
§766Ibo hercle aliquo quaeritatum ígnem.
Labrax: By Hercules, I will go somewhere to seek fire.
§766bQuid quom inveneris?
Daemones: What when you have found it?
§767Ignem magnum hic faciam.
Labrax: I will make a great fire here.
§767bQuin † inhumanum exuras tibi?
Daemones: Why not burn out your own monstrous soul?
§768Immo hasce ambas hic in ara ut vivas comburam, id volo.
Labrax: Nay, I wish to burn both of these girls alive here on the altar, that is what I want.
§769Iam hercle ego te barba continuo arripiam, in ignem coniciam §770teque ambustulatum obiciam magnis avibus pabulum.
Daemones: Instantly, by Hercules, I will seize you by the beard and throw you into the fire, Daemones: and throw you, half-burnt, as food for the great birds.
§771quom coniecturam egomet mecum facio, haec illast simia, §772quae has hirundines ex nido volt eripere ingratiis, §773quod ego in somnis somniavi.
Trachalio: When I make a conjecture within myself, this is that ape which wants to snatch these swallows from their nest against their will, which I dreamed in my sleep.
§773bScin quid tecum oro, senex?
Do you know what I am asking of you, old man?
§774ut illas serves, vim defendas, dúm ego erum adduco meum.
That you keep them safe, and ward off violence, while I bring my master.
§775Quaere erum atque adduce.
Daemones: Look for your master and bring him.
Trachalio: But lest he— Daemones: To his own greatest misfortune, if he touches or begins to touch.
§776bCura.
Trachalio: Take care.
§776cCuratumst, abi.
Daemones: It is cared for, go.
§777Hunc quoque adserva ipsum, ne quo abitat; nam promisimus §778carnufici aut talentum magnum aút hunc hodie sistere.
Trachalio: Watch him too, that he does not go away anywhere; for we have promised to the executioner that we would either pay a great talent or produce him today.
§779Abi modo, ego dum hoc curabo recte.
Daemones: Just go; meanwhile I will attend to this properly.
§779bIam ego revenero.
Trachalio: I will be back soon.
Daemones: Pimp, do you prefer to keep quiet with trouble or thus without trouble, if there is a choice?
§782Ego quae tu loquere flocci non facio, senex.
Labrax: I do not care a straw for what you say, old man.
In spite of you, and Venus, and highest Jupiter, I will now drag my own girls away from the altar by the hair.
§784bTange dum.
Daemones: Just touch them.
§785Tangam hercle vero.
Labrax: By Hercules, I will indeed touch them.
§785bAgedum ergo, accede huc modo.
Daemones: Come on then, just approach here.
§786Iube dúm recedere istos ambo illuc modo.
Labrax: Just order both of those fellows to step back over there.
§787Immo ad te accedent.
Daemones: Nay, they will approach you.
§787bNon hercle equidem censeo.
Labrax: By Hercules, I certainly do not think so.
§788Quid ages, si accedent propius?
Daemones: What will you do if they approach closer?
§788bEgo recessero.
Labrax: I will step back.
§789verum, senex, si te umquam in urbe offendero, §790numquam hercle quisquam me lenonem dixerit, §791si te non ludos pessimos dimisero.
But, old man, if I ever meet you in the city, by Hercules, no one will ever call me a pimp if I do not send you away after making the worst game of you.
§792Facito istuc quod minitare; sed nunc interim, §793si illas attigeris, dabitur tibi magnum malum.
Daemones: Do that which you threaten; but in the meantime now, if you touch them, a great mischief will be dealt to you.
§794Quam magnum vero?
Labrax: How great indeed?
§794bQuantum lenoni sat est.
Daemones: As much as is enough for a pimp.
Labrax: I do not care a straw for your threats; indeed, I will now snatch both of them in spite of you.
§796bTange dum.
Daemones: Just touch them.
§797Tangam hercle vero.
Labrax: By Hercules, I will indeed touch them.
§797bTanges, at scin quo modo?
Daemones: You will touch them, but do you know in what way?
Go, Turbalio, at a run, bring two clubs from the house.
§799bClavas?
Labrax: Clubs?
§799cSed probas.
Daemones: But sturdy ones.
propera cito.
Hurry quickly.
§800ego te hodie faxo recte acceptum, ut dignus es.
Today I will make you properly received, as you deserve.
Labrax: Alas, wretch that I am, I lost my helmet in the ship; now it would be very handy for me here, if it were safe.
§803licet saltem istas mi appellare?
Is it allowed at least for me to speak to them?
§803bNon licet.
Daemones: It is not allowed.
§804_805ehem, optime edepol eccum clavator ádvenit.
Ha! Excellent, by Pollux, look, the club-bearer is coming.
§806Illud quidem edepol tinnimentum est auribus.
Labrax: That indeed, by Pollux, is a ringing in my ears.
§807Age accipe illinc alteram clavam, Sparax.
Daemones: Come, take the other club from him, Sparax.
§808age, alter istinc, alter hinc adsistite.
Come, stand one on that side, the other on this side.
§809adsistite ambo.
Stand, both of you.
sic.
Thus.
audite nunciam: §810si hercle illic illas hodie digito tetigerit §811invitas, ni istunc istis invitassitis §812usque adeo donec qua domum abeat nesciat, §813periistis ambo.
Now listen: By Hercules, if that fellow touches them today with a finger against their will, unless you entertain him with those clubs of yours until he doesn't know which way to go home, you are both dead men.
si appellabit quempiam, §814vos respondetote istinc istarum vicem; §815sin ipse abire hínc volet, quantum potest §816extemplo amplectitote crura fustibus.
If he speaks to anyone, you answer from where you are on their behalf; but if he wants to go away from here, instantly, as quickly as possible, entwine his legs with your clubs.
§817Etiam me abire hinc non sinent?
Labrax: Won't they even let me go away from here?
§817bDixi satis.
Daemones: I have spoken enough.
And when that slave who went to fetch his master arrives here with him, go home instantly.
§820curate haec sultis magna diligentia. —
Take care of these things, please, with great diligence.