§209ecce autem aedificat: columnam mento suffigit suo. §210apage, non placet profecto mi illaec aedificatio; §211nam os columnatum poetae esse indaudivi barbaro, §212cui bini custodes semper totis horis occubant. §213euge, euscheme hercle astitit et dulice et comoedice; §214numquam hodie quiescet prius quam id quod petit perfecerit.
Periplectomenus: "But look, he is building: he supports his chin with his column. Away with it, I certainly don't like that building of his; for I have heard that a foreign poet had a columned face, by whom two guards always lie all day long. Excellent, by Hercules, he stands gracefully, both like a slave and like a comic actor; he will never rest today before he has accomplished what he seeks. I think he has it.
§215habet opinor. age si quid agis, vigila, ne somno stude, §216nisi quidem hic agitare mavis varius virgis vigilias.
Come, if you are doing anything, wake up, do not long for sleep, unless you prefer to keep watch here striped with rods. I am talking to you.
§217tibi ego dico. an heri maduisti? heus te adloquor, Palaestrio:
Did you get drunk yesterday?
§218vigila inquam, expergiscere inquam, lucet hoc inquam. §218bAudio. §219Viden hostis tibi adesse tuoque tergo obsidium? consule,
Hey, I am speaking to you, Palaestrio: wake up, I say, rouse yourself, I say, it is already daylight, I say." Palaestrio: "I hear." Periplectomenus: "Do you see that the enemy is upon you and a siege is at your back?
§220arripe opem auxiliumque ad hanc rem: propere hoc, non placide decet. §221anteveni aliqua aut tú aliquosum circumduce exercitum, §222coge in obsidium perduellis, nostris praesidium para; §223interclude inimicis commeatum, tibi muni viam §224qua cibatus commeatusque ad te et legiones tuas §225tuto possit pervenire: hanc rém age, res subitaria est. §229tu unus si recipere hoc ad te dicis, confidentiast §230nos inimicos profligare posse. §230bDico et recipio §231ad me. §231bEt ego impetrare dico id quod petis. §231cAt te Iuppiter §232bene amet. §232bAuden participare me quod commentus escommentu's? §232cTace, §233dum in regionem astutiarum mearum te induco, ut scias §234iuxta mecum mea consilia. §234bSalva sumes indidem. §235Erus meus elephanti corio circumtentust, non suo, §236neque habet plus sapientiai quam lapis. §236bEgo istuc scio. §237Nunc sic rationem incipisso, hánc instituam astutiam, §238ut Philocomasio huc sororem geminam germanam alteram §239dicam Athenis advenisse cúm amatore aliquo suo, §240tam similem, quam lacte lactist; ápud te eos hic devortier §241dicam hospitio.
Take counsel, seize help and assistance for this matter: this is proper to do quickly, not calmly. Forestall them in some way, or lead your army around somewhere, drive the enemies into a siege, prepare a defense for our people; block the supplies of the enemies, fortify a path for yourself by which food and provisions can safely arrive to you and your legions: do this thing, it is an emergency. If you alone say that you take this upon yourself, we have confidence that we can rout our enemies." Palaestrio: "I say it and I take it upon myself." Periplectomenus: "And I say you will obtain what you seek." Palaestrio: "May Jupiter love you well." Periplectomenus: "Are you willing to share with me what you have devised?" Palaestrio: "Be silent, while I lead you into the region of my stratagems, so that you may know my plans just as I do." Periplectomenus: "You shall receive them safe and sound from the same place." Palaestrio: "My master is wrapped in elephant's hide, not his own, and has no more wisdom than a stone." Periplectomenus: "I know that." Palaestrio: "Now I will begin this calculation, I will set up this trick: I will say that another twin sister, a real sister of Philocomasium, has arrived here from Athens with some lover of hers, as similar to her as milk is to milk; and I will say that they are lodging here in your house as guests." Periplectomenus: "Bravo, bravo!
§241bEuge euge, lepide, laudo commentum tuom. §242Vt si illic concriminatus sit advorsum militem §243meus conservos, eam vidisse hic cum alieno oscularier, §244eam arguam vidisse apud te contra conservom meum §245cum suo amatore amplexantem atque osculantem. §245bImmo optume. §246idem ego dicam, si ex me exquiret miles. §246bSed simillimas §247dicito esse, et Philocomasio id praecipiendum est ut sciat, §248ne titubet, si exquiret ex ea miles. §248bNimis doctum dolum. §249sed si ambas videre in uno miles concilio volet, §250quid agimus? §250bFacilest: trecentae possunt causae conligi: §251non domist, ábiit ambulatum, dormit, ornatur, lavat, §252prandet, potat: occupatast, operae non est, non potest
, §253quantum vis prolationum, dum modo hunc prima via §254inducamus, vera ut esse credat quae mentibimur. §255Placet ut dicis. §255bIntro abi ergo, et si isti est mulier, eam iube §256cito domum transire, atque haec ei dice monstra praecipe, §257ut teneat consilia nostra, quem ad modum exorsi sumus, §258de gemina sorore. §258bDocte tíbi illam perdoctam dabo. §259numquid aliud? §259bIntro ut abeas. §259cAbeo. — §259dEt quidem ego ibo domum §260atque hominem investigando operam huic dissimulabiliter dabo, §261qui fuerit conservos qui hodie sit sectatus simiam. §262nam ille non pótuit quin sermone suo aliquem familiarium §263participaverit de amica eri, sese vidisse eam §264hic in proximo osculantem cum alieno adulescentulo. §265novi morem: egomet tacere nequeo solus quod scio. §266si invenio qui vidit, ad eum vineas pluteosque agam: §267res paratast, vi pugnandoque hominem caperest certa res.
Cleverly done, I praise your invention." Palaestrio: "So that if my fellow-slave has brought charges there before the soldier, saying he saw her kissing here with a stranger, I will argue against my fellow-slave that he saw her at your house embracing and kissing with her own lover." Periplectomenus: "On the contrary, excellent! I will say the same if the soldier questions me." Palaestrio: "But tell him they are very similar, and Philocomasium must be instructed so that she knows, lest she falter if the soldier questions her." Periplectomenus: "An extremely clever trick. But if the soldier wants to see both of them together in one place, what do we do?" Periplectomenus: "It's easy: three hundred excuses can be gathered: 'she is not at home', 'she has gone for a walk', 'she is sleeping', 'she is dressing', 'she is bathing', 'she is dining', 'she is drinking', 'she is busy', 'she has no leisure', 'she cannot', as many delays as you want, provided we lead him on at the first path, so that he believes what we lie about to be true." Palaestrio: "I like it as you say." Periplectomenus: "Go inside then, and if the woman is there, tell her to cross over home quickly, and tell her these things, instruct her, teach her to keep our plans, just as we have begun them, about the twin sister." Palaestrio: "I will deliver her to you well-tutored. Anything else?" Periplectomenus: "That you go inside." Palaestrio: "I'm going. — And indeed I will go home and under a disguise I will direct my effort to investigating which fellow-slave it was who today chased the monkey. For he could not have helped sharing with his talk some of the household about the master's mistress, that he saw her kissing here next door with a strange young man. I know the custom: I myself cannot keep silent alone about what I know. If I find the one who saw, I will bring mantlets and breastworks against him: the thing is ready, it is a settled matter to capture the man by force and by fighting."