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Plautus · Epidicus §304-363

Epidicus Delivers the Money and Explains His Ruse

Passage 6 of 12 · Latin

Summary

Having successfully swindled the money from Periphanes, Epidicus encounters the desperate Stratippocles and Chaeribulus. He hands over the sum to his young master and explains his elaborate, double-deceiving plot to their immense relief and joy.

§304Epidice, eo veni.
Periphanes: Epidicus, I am going in.
§304bNe abitas prius quam ego ad te venero.
Do not leave before I have come back to you.
§305Vsque opperiar. — §305bSequere tu intro. — §305cI, numera, nil ego te moror.
Epidicus: I shall wait for you all the while.— Periphanes: You follow me inside.— Epidicus: Go, pay the money, I do not delay you at all.
§306nullum esse opinor ego agrum in agro Attico §307aeque feracem quám hic est noster Periphanes: §308quin ex occluso atque obsignato armario §309decutio argenti tantum quantum mihi lubet.
I think there is no field in the Attic territory as fertile as this Periphanes of ours: since from a locked and sealed chest I shake down as much silver as I please.
§310quod pol ego metuo si senex resciverit, §311ne ulmos parasitos faciat, quae usque attondeant.
But by Pollux, I fear if the old man finds out, lest he make the elm-twigs into parasites to strip me clean.
§312sed me una turbat res ratioque, Apoecidi §313quam ostendam fidicinam aliquam conducticiam.
But one business and plan troubles me: how to Apoecides I shall show some hired music-girl.
§314atque id quoque habeo: mane me iussit senex §315conducere aliquam fidicinam sibi huc domum, §316quae, dum rem dinam faceret, cantaret sibi; §317ea conducetur atque ei praemonstrabitur §318quo pacto fiat subdola adversus senem.
And yet I have a plan for that too: in the morning the old man ordered me to hire some music-girl for him to this house, who, while he performed the sacred rite, should sing for him; she shall be hired and pre-instructed how to play her tricks against the old man.
§319ibo intro, argentum accipiam ab damnoso sene. — §320Expectando éxedor míser atque exénteror, §321quó modo mi Épidici blánda dicta évenant.
I will go inside and receive the money from the ruinous old man.— Stratippocles: I am consumed and disemboweled with waiting, miserable that I am, to see how the flattering words of my Epidicus turn out.
§322nímis diu máceror: sítne quid nécne sit, §323scíre cupió.
I am tortured too long: whether there is something or nothing, I desire to know.
§323bPer illám tibi cópiam §324copíam parare aliám licet: scivi équidem in principio ilico §325nullám tibi esse ín illo copiam.
Chaeribulus: By means of that resource you may prepare another resource: for my part, I knew immediately in the beginning that you had no resource in him.
§325bInterii hércle ego.
Stratippocles: By Hercules, I am ruined.
§326Ábsurde facis qui ángas te animi; si hércle ego illum semel préndero, §327númquam inridére nos íllum inultúm sinam servom hominem.
Chaeribulus: You act absurdly in tormenting your mind; by Hercules, if I once catch him, I will never allow that slave to mock us with impunity.
§328Quíd illum facere vís, qui, tibi quoi dívitiae domi máxumae sunt,
Stratippocles: What do you want him to do?
§329_330is númmum nullum habés neque sodáli tuo in te cópiast.
You who have the greatest wealth at home, yet you have not a single coin, and your friend has no resource in you.
§331Si hercle hábeam, polliceár lubens, verum áliquid aliqua aliquó modo §332alicúnde ab alíqui aliqua tíbi spes est fore méliorem fortúnam.
Chaeribulus: By Hercules, if I had it, I would gladly promise; but somewhere, somehow, from somewhere, from someone, there is some hope for you that your fortune will improve.
§333Vaé tibi, muricide homo.
Stratippocles: Plague on you, you cowardly man!
§333bQui tibi lubet mihi male loqui?
Chaeribulus: Why do you like to speak ill of me?
§334Quippe tú mi aliquíd aliquo modo alicunde ab aliquibus blatis §335quod nusquamst neque ego id inmitto in aures meas §336nec míhi plus adiuménti †ades, quam ille quí numquam etiam nátust.
Stratippocles: Because you babble to me of "something", "somehow", "from somewhere", "from some people", which is nowhere, and I do not let it enter my ears, nor do you bring me any more help than a man who has never even been born.
§337Fecísti iam officium tuom, me meum nunc facere oportet.
Epidicus: You have already done your duty, now it behooves me to do mine.
§338per hanc cúram quieto tibi licet esse—hoc quidem iam periit: §339ne quid tibi hinc in spem referas, oppido hoc pollinctum est; §340crede modo mihi: sic ego ago, sic egerunt nostri.
Thanks to this care of mine, you may be at ease—as for this indeed, it is already dead and gone: expect nothing from here, it is completely laid out for burial; only trust me: thus I act, thus our ancestors acted.
§341pro di immortales, mihi hunc diem dedistis luculentum,
O immortal gods, you have given me this glorious day, how easy and successful!
§342ut facilem atque impetrabilem! sed ego hinc migrare cesso, §343ut importem in coloniam hunc meo auspicio commeatum?
But why do I delay to move away from here, to carry this provision into my colony under my own auspices?
§344mihi cesso, cum sto.
I waste my time in standing still.
sed quid hoc? ante aedis duo sodales,
But what is this?
§345erum et Chaéribulum, conspicor.
Before the house, two companions, my master and Chaeribulus, I spy.
quid hic ágitis? accipe hoc sis.
What are you doing here? Take this, if you please.
§346Quantum hic inest?
Stratippocles: How much is in here?
§346bQuantum sat est, et plus satis: superfit.
Epidicus: As much as is enough, and more than enough: there is a surplus.
§347decem minis plus attuli quam tu danistae debes.
I have brought ten minae more than you owe to the moneylender.
§348dum tibi ego placeam atque obsequar, meum térgum flocci facio.
As long as I please you and obey you, I don't care a straw for my own back.
§349Nam quid ita?
Stratippocles: Why so indeed?
§349bQuia ego tuom patrem faciam parenticidam.
Epidicus: Because I shall make your father a parenticide.
§350Quid istúc est verbi?
Stratippocles: What kind of word is that?
§350bNil moror vetera et volgata verba; §351peratum ductarent: ego follitum ductitabo.
Epidicus: I care nothing for old and common words; let others lead wallet-holders by the nose; I shall lead them by the money-bag.
§352nam leno omne argentum abstulit pro fidicina (ego resolvi, §353manibus his denúmeravi) pater suam natam quam esse credit; §354nunc iterum ut fallatur pater tibique auxilium apparetur §355inveni: nam ita suasi seni atque hanc habui orationem §356ut cum rediisses ne tibi eius copia esset.
For the pimp has taken all the money for the music-girl (I paid it out, I counted it with these hands) whom your father believes to be his daughter; now I have found a way for your father to be deceived a second time, and for help to be prepared for you: for I so advised the old man and made this speech, so that when you returned, you should have no means of getting her.
§356bEuge.
Stratippocles: Excellent!
§357ea iam domist pro filia.
Epidicus: She is already at home instead of his daughter.
§357bIam teneo.
Stratippocles: Now I get it.
§357cNunc cautorem §358dedit mihi ad hanc rem Apoecidem, is ápud forum manet me, §359caveat.
Epidicus: Now as a guarantor, he has given me Apoecides for this matter, who is waiting for me at the forum to take precautions.
§359bHaud male.
Stratippocles: Not bad.
§359cIam ípse cautor captust.
Epidicus: Already that guarantor himself has been caught.
§360ipse in meo cóllo tuos pater cruminam collocavit; §361is adornat, adveniens domi extemplo ut maritus fias.
Your father himself has placed the money-bag around my neck; he is preparing so that upon your arrival you should immediately become a husband at home.
§362Vno persuadebit modo, si illam, quae adducta est mecum, §363mi adempsit Orcus.
Stratippocles: He will persuade me in one way only, if Orcus takes away from me that woman who has been brought with me.

Notes

  1. 304eo veni — The word 'eo' can be interpreted either as the first-person singular present indicative of the verb 'ire' (to go) or as the adverb 'eo' (thither). Given the context where Periphanes is entering the house and ordering Epidicus to stay nearby, interpreting 'eo' as 'I am going' (in) and 'veni' as an imperative ('come!') is the most natural reading, which also aligns with the subsequent 'ne abitas' (do not leave).
  2. 311ulmos parasitos faciat, quae usque attondeant — The word 'ulmos' (elms) is a metonymy for the elm-twigs used to whip slaves, here placed in apposition with 'parasitos' (parasites/hangers-on). The verb 'attondeant' (shear/strip clean) is a double entendre, playing on the way parasites strip a patron's estate and the way whips strip a slave's back.
  3. 349bparenticidam — While 'parenticida' normally refers to a parricide (one who kills a parent), here Epidicus uses it in a twisted sense to describe a father who unwittingly ruins or strips his own child, or a father who destroys his own status as a parent, reflecting the ironic situation into which Periphanes is being led.
  4. 351peratum ductarent: ego follitum ductitabo — Both 'peratum' (one provided with a small wallet, pera) and 'follitum' (one provided with a large leather money-bag, follis) are coinages by Plautus. The verbs 'ductare' and 'ductitare' mean 'to lead by the nose' or 'to cheat'. Epidicus contrasts ordinary slaves who only swindle petty spenders with himself, who will swindle a whole sack of money from the old man.

Cite this passage

Plautus, Epidicus §304-363. Humanitext Reader, https://reader.humanitext.ai/en/text/urn:cts:latinLit:phi0119.phi009.humanitext-lat2:304-363

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