§888Ille ecastor suppilabat me, quod ancillas meas §889suspicabar atque insontis miseras cruciabam. §889bPater, §890iube dari vinum; iam dudum factum est cum primum bibi. §891Da, puere, ab summo.
Artemona: "By Castor, he was pilfering from me, which is why I suspected my maidservants and tortured the innocent, wretched girls." Argyrippus: "Father, order the wine to be served; it has been a long time since I first drank." Demaenetus: "Give it, boy, from the top.
áge tu interibi ab infimo da savium.
Come, you in the meantime, from the bottom, give me a kiss." Artemona: "Wretched me, I am undone!
§892Perii misera, ut osculatur carnufex, capuli decus. §893Edepol animam suaviorem aliquanto quam uxoris meae. §894Dic amabo, an fetet anima úxoris tuae? §894bNauteam §895bibere malim, si necessum sit, quam illam oscularier.
How that scoundrel kisses, that ornament of the coffin!" Demaenetus: "By Pollux, her breath is considerably sweeter than my wife's!" Philaenium: "Tell me, please, does your wife's breath stink?" Demaenetus: "I would rather drink bilge-water, if it were necessary, than kiss her." Artemona: "Do you really say so?
§896Ain tandem? edepol ne tu istuc cum malo magno tuo
By Pollux, indeed you have said that against me to your own great ruin.
§897Dixisti in me. sine, revenias modo domum, faxo ut scias §898quid pericli sit dotatae uxori vitium dicere. §899Miser ecastor es. §899bEcastor dignus est. §899cQuid ais, pater?
Never mind, just let you return home, I will make you know what danger there is in speaking ill of a dowered wife." Parasitus: "By Castor, you are wretched." Artemona: "By Castor, he deserves it." Argyrippus: "What do you say, father?
§900ecquid matrem amas?
Do you love mother at all?" Demaenetus: "I love her?
§900bEgone illam? nunc amo, quia non adest. §901Quid cum adest? §901bPeriisse cupio. §901cAmat homo hic te, ut praedicat.
Now I love her, because she is not here." Argyrippus: "What about when she is here?" Demaenetus: "I wish she were dead." Parasitus: "This man loves you, as he declares." Artemona: "By Castor, indeed she pays it back with interest!
§902Ne illa ecastor faenerato funditat: nam si domum §903redierit hodie, osculando ego ulciscar potissimum. §904Iace, pater, talos, ut porro nos iaciamus.
For if he returns home today, I will avenge myself above all by kissing him." Argyrippus: "Throw the knucklebones, father, so that we may throw next." Demaenetus: "By all means.
For you, Philaenium, for myself, and for my wife's death!
hoc Venerium est.
This is the Venus throw!
§906pueri, plaudite et mi ob iactum cantharo mulsum date. §907Non queo durare. §907bSi non didicisti fulloniam,
Boys, applaud and give me honeyed wine in a goblet because of my throw." Artemona: "I cannot endure this." Parasitus: "If you have not learned the fuller's trade, it is no wonder.
§908non mirandum est. in oculos invadi optumum est. §909Ego pol vivam et tu istaec hodie cum tuo magno malo §910invocavisti. §910bEcquis currit pollictorem accersere? §911Mater, salve. §911bSat salutis. §911cMortuost Demaenetus.
It is best to fly at his eyes." Artemona: "By Pollux, I shall live, and you have prayed for those things today to your own great ruin when you invoked them." Parasitus: "Is anyone running to fetch the undertaker?" Argyrippus: "Greetings, mother." Artemona: "Enough of greetings." Parasitus: "Demaenetus is dead." Parasitus: "It is time for me to withdraw from here; this battle is spreading beautifully.
§912tempus est subducere hinc me; pulchre hoc gliscit proelium. §913ibo ad Diabolum, mandata dicam facta ut voluerit, §914atque interea ut decumbamus suadebo, hi dum litigant.
I will go to Diabolus and tell him that his orders have been carried out as he wished; and meanwhile, I will persuade him that we should lie down at the feast while these people are quarreling.
§915poste demum huc cras adducam ad lenam, ut viginti minas §916ei det, in partem hac amanti ut liceat ei potirier.
Afterward, tomorrow, I will bring him here to the procurer, so that he may give her twenty minae, and be allowed to enjoy her in turn as a lover.
I hope Argyrippus can be persuaded to allow him to enjoy her on alternate nights.
nam ni impetro, §919regem perdidi: ex amore tantum est homini incendium. — §920Quid tibi hunc receptio ad te est meum virum? §920bPol me quidem §921miseram odio énicavit.
For unless I obtain this, I have lost my patron: such a great fire of love possesses the man. —" Artemona: "What business have you receiving this husband of mine to yourself?" Philaenium: "By Pollux, indeed he has killed wretched me with disgust." Artemona: "Arise, lover, go home." Demaenetus: "I am nothing." Artemona: "Nay, you are, do not deny it, by Pollux, the single most worthless of all men.
§921bSurge, amator, i domum. §922Nullus sum. §922bImmo es, ne nega, omnium unus pol nequissimus. §923at etiam cubat cuculus.
And yet the cuckoo still lies there!
Arise, lover, go home." Demaenetus: "Woe to me." Artemona: "You prophesy the truth.
surge, amator, i domum. §925Abscede ergo paululum istuc. §925bSurge, amator, i domum. §926Iam obsecro, uxor.
Arise, lover, go home." Demaenetus: "Step back a little over there, then." Artemona: "Arise, lover, go home." Demaenetus: "Now I entreat you, wife." Artemona: "Do you only now remember that I am your wife?
§926bNunc uxorem me esse meministi tuam? §927modo, cum dicta in me ingerebas, odium, non uxor eram. §928Totus perii.
Just now, when you were heaping insults upon me, I was a nuisance to you, not a wife." Demaenetus: "I am completely ruined." Artemona: "What, pray?
§928bQuid tandem? anima fetetne uxoris tuae? §929Murram olet. §929bIam subrupuisti pallam, quam scorto dares? §930Ecastor qui subrupturum pallam promisit tibi. §931Non taces? §931bEgo dissuadebam, mater. §931cBellum filium.
Does your wife's breath stink?" Demaenetus: "It smells of myrrh." Artemona: "Have you already stolen the mantle, to give to your whore?" Philaenium: "By Castor, he is the one who promised to steal the mantle from you!" Demaenetus: "Won't you be quiet?" Argyrippus: "I was dissuading him, mother." Artemona: "A fine son!
§932istoscine patrem aequom est mores liberis largirier?
Is it right for a father to bestow such habits upon his children?
§933nilne te pudet? §933bPol, si aliud nil sit, tui me, uxor, pudet. §934Cano capite te cuculum uxor ex lustris rapit. §935Non licet manere (cena coquitur) dum cenem modo? §936Ecastor cenabis hodie, ut dignus es, magnum malum. §937Male cubandum est: iudicatum me uxor abducit domum. §938Dicebam, pater, tibi, ne matri consuleres male. §939De palla memento, amabo. §939bIuben hanc hinc abscedere? §940I domum. §940bDa savium etiam prius quam abis. §940cI in crucem. §941Immo intro potius. sequere hac me, mí anime. §941bEgo vero sequor.
Are you not at all ashamed?" Demaenetus: "By Pollux, even if there were nothing else, wife, I am ashamed because of you." Artemona: "With your gray head, your wife drags you, a cuckoo, out of the brothels!" Demaenetus: "Is it not allowed for me to stay (dinner is being cooked) just until I eat dinner?" Artemona: "By Castor, you shall dine today, as you deserve, on a great mischief!" Demaenetus: "I must sleep miserably; my wife leads me home like a condemned debtor." Argyrippus: "I kept telling you, father, not to act badly toward mother." Philaenium: "Remember the mantle, please." Demaenetus: "Do you order this woman to depart from here?" Artemona: "Go home." Philaenium: "Give me a kiss even before you go." Artemona: "Go to the gallows!" Argyrippus: "Nay, rather inside.
§942Hic senex si quid clam uxorem suo animo fecit volup, §943neque novom neque mirum fecit nec secus quam alii solent; §944nec quisquam est tam ingenio duro nec tam firmo pectore, §945quin ubi quicque occasionis sit sibi faciat bene.
Follow me this way, my soul." Philaenium: "Indeed I follow." Grex: "If this old man did anything for his own pleasure secretly from his wife, he did nothing new or strange, nor different from what others are accustomed to do; nor is there anyone of so harsh a nature or so firm a breast who does not do well for himself whenever any opportunity presents itself.