Even if you should now mount the four-horse chariot of Jove and flee from here, even so you will scarcely be able to escape misfortune.
§452Nonne erae meae nuntiare quod erus meus iussit licet?
Is it not permitted for me to report to my mistress what my master ordered?
§453Tuae si quid vis nuntiare: hanc nostram adire non sinam.
If you want to report anything to your own mistress, do so; but I will not allow you to approach this mistress of ours.
§454nam si me inritassis, hodie lumbifragium hinc auferes.
For if you provoke me, today you shall carry away a broken back from here.
§455Abeo potius.
I had rather go away.
di immortales, obsecro vostram fidem,
Immortal gods, I implore your protection, where did I perish?
§456ubi ego perii? ubi immutatus sum? ubi ego formam perdidi?
Where was I changed? Where did I lose my form?
§457an egomet me illic reliqui, si forte oblitus fui?
Or did I leave myself behind there, if by chance I forgot?
§458nám hic quidem omnem imaginem meam, quae antehac fuerat, possidet.
For this man indeed possesses my whole appearance, which was mine before.
§459vivo fit quod numquam quisquam mortuo faciet mihi.
Something is being done to me while alive which no one will ever do to me when dead.
§460ibo ad portum atque haec uti sunt facta ero dicam meo; §461nisi etiam is quoque me ignorabit: quod ille faxit Iuppiter, §462ut ego hodie ráso capite calvos capiam pilleum. — §463Bene próspere hoc hodie operis processit mihi: §464amovi a foribus maximam molestiam, §465patri ut liceret tuto illam amplexarier.
I will go to the harbor and tell my master how these things have been done; unless he too does not recognize me; which may Jove bring to pass, so that today, with a shaved head, I may take the freedman's cap as a bald man.— This day's work has turned out successfully and prosperously for me: I have removed the greatest nuisance from the door, so that my father might be allowed to embrace her in safety.
§466iam ille illuc ad erum cum Amphitruonem advenerit, §467narrabit servom hinc sese a foribus Sosiam §468amovisse; ille adeo illum mentiri sibi §469credet, neque credet huc profectum, ut iusserat.
Now when he arrives there at his master's, Amphitruo, he will report that the slave Sosia removed him from the door from here; and so he will believe that he is lying to him, and will not believe that he came here as he had ordered.
§470erroris ambo ego illos et dementiae §471complebo atque omnem Amphitruonis familiam, §472adeo usque, satietatem dum capiet pater §473illius quám amat.
I will fill them both, and all the household of Amphitruo, with error and madness, until my father takes his fill of her whom he loves.
igitur demum omnes scient §474quae facta.
Then at last all shall know what has been done.
denique Alcumenam Iuppiter §475redigét antiquam coniugi in concordiam.
Finally, Jove will restore Alcumena to her old harmony with her husband.
§476nam Amphitruo actutum uxori turbas conciet §477atque insimulabit eam probri; tum meus pater §478eam séditionem illi in tranquillum conferet.
For Amphitruo will immediately stir up trouble for his wife and accuse her of unchastity; then my father will turn that discord into calm.
§479nunc de Alcumena dudum quod dixi minus, §480hodie illa pariet filios geminos duos §481alter decumo post mense nascetur puer §482quam seminatust, alter mense septumo; §483eorum Ámphitruonis alter est, alter Iovis: §484verum minori puero maior est pater, §485minor maiori.
Now, about what I said too little concerning Alcumena just now: today she will give birth to twin sons, one boy will be born in the tenth month after he was sown, the other in the seventh month; of them, one is Amphitruo's, the other Jove's; but the younger boy has the greater father, and the older has the lesser.
iamne hoc scitis quid siet?
Do you know now what this is?
§486sed Alcumenae huius honoris gratia §487pater curavit uno ut fetu fieret, §488uno ut labore absolvat aerumnas duas.
But for the sake of the honor of this Alcumena, my father has taken care that it should happen in one birth, so that with one labor she may finish two troubles.
Although, as I said just now, Amphitruo will nevertheless find out the whole matter.
quid igitur? nemo id probro
What then?
§493profecto ducet Alcumenae; nam deum §494non par videtur facere, delictum suom §495suamque ut culpam expetere in mortalem ut sinat.
No one indeed will count it a disgrace to Alcumena; for it does not seem fitting for a god to allow his own transgression and his own fault to fall upon a mortal.
§496orationem comprimam: crepuit foris.
I will hold my tongue; the door creaked.
Look, the counterfeit Amphitruo is coming out with Alcumena, his borrowed wife.
§499Béne vale, Alcumena, cura rem communem, quod facis; §500atque inperce quaeso: menses iam tibi esse actos vides.
Farewell, Alcumena, take care of our common interest, as you are doing; and spare yourself, I pray: you see that your months are now completed.
§501mihi necesse est ire hinc; verum quod erit natum tollito.
I must go from here; but raise the child that shall be born.
What business is this, my husband, that you should leave home so suddenly?
§503bEdepol haud quod tui me neque domi distaedeat; §504sed ubi summus imperator non adest ad exercitum, §505citius quod non facto est usus fit quam quod facto est opus.
By Pollux, not because I am weary of you or of my home; but when the commander-in-chief is not present with the army, what is not necessary to be done happens sooner than what is needed.
§506Nimis hic scitust sycophanta, qui quidem meus sit pater.
This is an exceedingly clever impostor, who indeed is my father.
§507observatote eum, quam blande mulieri palpabitur.
Watch him, how coaxingly he will flatter the woman.
§508Ecastor te experior quanti facias uxorem tuam.
By Castor, I experience how much you value your wife.
§509Satin habes, si feminarum nulla est quam aeque diligam?
Are you satisfied, if there is no woman whom I love as much?
§510Edepol ne illa si istis rebus te sciat operam dare, §511ego faxim ted Amphitruonem esse malis, quam Iovem.
By Pollux, if that real wife of yours knew you were giving your attention to these matters, I would make you prefer to be Amphitruo rather than Jove.
§512Experiri istuc mavellem me quam mi memorarier.
I would rather experience that myself than have it told to me.
§513prius abis quam lectus ubi cubuisti concaluit locus.
You go away before the place on the bed where you lay has grown cold.
§514heri venisti media nocte, nunc abis.
Yesterday you came at midnight, and now you go.
hocin placet?
Does this please you?
§515Accedam atque hanc appellabo et subparasitabor patri.
I will approach and address her and play the parasite to my father.