§9.10ἆρʼ οὖν ὡς πλείστους φίλους ποιητέον, ἢ καθάπερ ἐπὶ τῆς ξενίας ἐμμελῶς εἰρῆσθαι δοκεῖ
"μήτε πολύξεινος μήτʼ ἄξεινος,"
καὶ ἐπὶ τῆς φιλίας ἁρμόσει μήτʼ ἄφιλον εἶναι μήτʼ αὖ πολύφιλον καθʼ ὑπερβολήν;
Should we then make as many friends as possible, or, just as it seems to have been appropriately said in the case of hospitality, "neither of many guests, nor of none," will it also be fitting in the case of friendship to be neither without friends, nor again to have excessively many friends?
τοῖς μὲν δὴ πρὸς χρῆσιν κἂν πάνυ δόξειεν ἁρμόζειν τὸ λεχθέν· πολλοῖς γὰρ ἀνθυπηρετεῖν ἐπίπονον, καὶ οὐχ ἱκανὸς ὁ βίος αὐτὸ πράττειν.
To those based on utility, what has been said would indeed seem to fit perfectly; for to return services to many is troublesome, and life is not sufficient to do this.
οἱ πλείους δὴ τῶν πρὸς τὸν οἰκεῖον βίον ἱκανῶν περίεργοι καὶ ἐμπόδιοι πρὸς τὸ καλῶς ζῆν· οὐθὲν οὖν δεῖ αὐτῶν.
Thus, those who are more than enough for one's own life are superfluous and obstacles to living well; there is, therefore, no need of them.
καὶ οἱ πρὸς ἡδονὴν δὲ ἀρκοῦσιν ὀλίγοι, καθάπερ ἐν τῇ τροφῇ τὸ ἥδυσμα.
And those for pleasure also are sufficient in small numbers, just like seasoning in food.
τοὺς δὲ σπουδαίους πότερον πλείστους κατʼ ἀριθμόν, ἢ ἔστι τι μέτρον καὶ φιλικοῦ πλήθους, ὥσπερ πόλεως;
But as for excellent friends, should we have them as many as possible in number, or is there some measure also for the size of a group of friends, just as for a city?
οὔτε γὰρ ἐκ δέκα ἀνθρώπων γένοιτʼ ἂν πόλις, οὔτʼ ἐκ δέκα μυριάδων ἔτι πόλις ἐστίν.
For a city could not come into being from ten people, nor is it still a city when it reaches ten thousand.
τὸ δὲ ποσὸν οὐκ ἔστιν ἴσως ἕν τι, ἀλλὰ πᾶν τὸ μεταξὺ τινῶν ὡρισμένων.
But the proper quantity is perhaps not some single number, but any number between certain defined limits.
καὶ φίλων δή ἐστι πλῆθος ὡρισμένον, καὶ ἴσως οἱ πλεῖστοι μεθʼ ὧν ἂν δύναιτό τις συζῆν (τοῦτο γὰρ ἐδόκει φιλικώτατον εἶναι)·
And of friends indeed there is a defined number, and it is perhaps the greatest number with whom one could live together (for this seemed to be the most friendly thing).
ὅτι δʼ οὐχ οἷόν τε πολλοῖς συζῆν καὶ διανέμειν ἑαυτόν, οὐκ ἄδηλον.
But that it is not possible to live together with many and distribute oneself is not unclear.
ἔτι δὲ κἀκείνους δεῖ ἀλλήλοις φίλους εἶναι, εἰ μέλλουσι πάντες μετʼ ἀλλήλων συνημερεύειν· τοῦτο δʼ ἐργῶδες ἐν πολλοῖς ὑπάρχειν.
Furthermore, those friends must also be friends with one another, if they are all to spend their days together; and this is a laborious thing to exist among many.
χαλεπὸν δὲ γίνεται καὶ τὸ συγχαίρειν καὶ τὸ συναλγεῖν οἰκείως πολλοῖς· εἰκὸς γὰρ συμπίπτειν ἅμα τῷ μὲν συνήδεσθαι τῷ δὲ συνάχθεσθαι.
It also becomes difficult to share in joy and share in pain intimately with many; for it is likely that it will happen that one is pleased together with one person and at the same time grieved together with another.
ἴσως οὖν εὖ ἔχει μὴ ζητεῖν ὡς πολυφιλώτατον εἶναι, ἀλλὰ τοσούτους ὅσοι εἰς τὸ συζῆν ἱκανοί· οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐνδέχεσθαι δόξειεν ἂν πολλοῖς εἶναι φίλον σφόδρα.
Perhaps, then, it is well not to seek to have as many friends as possible, but only as many as are sufficient for living together; for indeed it would seem impossible to be a close friend to many.
διόπερ οὐδʼ ἐρᾶν πλειόνων· ὑπερβολὴ γάρ τις εἶναι βούλεται φιλίας, τοῦτο δὲ πρὸς ἕνα· καὶ τὸ σφόδρα δὴ πρὸς ὀλίγους.
For this reason, one cannot love many passionately either; for love wishes to be a certain excess of friendship, and this is toward one person; and so close friendship is toward a few.
οὕτω δʼ ἔχειν ἔοικε καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν πραγμάτων· οὐ γίνονται γὰρ φίλοι πολλοὶ κατὰ τὴν ἑταιρικὴν φιλίαν, αἱ δʼ ὑμνούμεναι ἐν δυσὶ λέγονται.
This indeed seems to be the case in actual facts too; for many friends do not come into being in the friendship of comrades, and those celebrated in song are said to be between two.
οἱ δὲ πολύφιλοι καὶ πᾶσιν οἰκείως ἐντυγχάνοντες οὐδενὶ δοκοῦσιν εἶναι φίλοι, πλὴν πολιτικῶς, οὓς καὶ καλοῦσιν ἀρέσκους.
But those with many friends, who encounter everyone intimately, seem to be friends to no one, except in a civic way, whom people also call obsequious.
πολιτικῶς μὲν οὖν ἔστι πολλοῖς εἶναι φίλον καὶ μὴ ἄρεσκον ὄντα, ἀλλʼ ὡς ἀληθῶς ἐπιεικῆ· διʼ ἀρετὴν δὲ καὶ διʼ αὐτοὺς οὐκ ἔστι πρὸς πολλούς, ἀγαπητὸν δὲ καὶ ὀλίγους εὑρεῖν τοιούτους.
In a civic way, then, it is possible to be a friend to many without being obsequious, but being truly decent; but because of virtue and for their own sake, it is not possible to be a friend toward many, and it is welcome to find even a few such people.