§1σὺ μὲν ἴσως, ὦ φίλτατε Κέλσε, μικρόν τι καὶ φαῦλον οἴει τὸ πρόσταγμα, προστάττειν τὸν Ἀλεξάνδρου σοι τοῦ Ἀβωνοτειχίτου γόητος βίον καὶ ἐπινοίας αὐτοῦ καὶ τολμήματα καὶ μαγγανείας εἰς βιβλίον ἐγγράψαντα πέμψαι·
Perhaps, my dearest Celsus, you think that this request is a small and trifling matter—to request of you to write down in a book and send the life, the schemes, the daring exploits, and the impostures of Alexander, the sorcerer of Abonoteichus; but in truth, if one should wish to go into each detail with precision, it is no less a task than to record the deeds of Alexander, son of Philip.
τὸ δέ, εἴ τις ἐθέλοι πρὸς τὸ ἀκριβὲς ἕκαστον ἐπεξιέναι, οὐ μεῖόν ἐστιν ἢ τὰς Ἀλεξάνδρου τοῦ Φιλίππου πράξεις ἀναγράψαι· τοσοῦτος εἰς κακίαν οὗτος, ὅσος εἰς ἀρετὴν ἐκεῖνος.
For this man was as great in vice as the other was in virtue.
ὅμως δὲ εἰ μετὰ συγγνώμης ἀναγνώσεσθαι μέλλοις καὶ τὰ ἐνδέοντα τοῖς ἱστορουμένοις προσλογιεῖσθαι„ ὑποστήσομαί σοι τὸν ἆθλον, καὶ τὴν Αὐγέου βουστασίαν, εἰ καὶ μὴ πᾶσαν, ἀλλʼ εἰς δύναμίν γε τὴν ἐμαυτοῦ ἀνακαθάρασθαι πειράσομαι, ὀλίγους ὅσους τῶν κοφίνων ἐκφορήσας, ὡς ἀπʼ ἐκείνων τεκμαίροιο πόση πᾶσα καὶ ὡς ἀμύθητος ἦν ἡ κόπρος ἣν τρισχίλιοι βόες ἐν πολλοῖς ἔτεσιν ποιῆσαι ἐδύναντο.
Nevertheless, if you are to read with indulgence and make allowance for what is lacking in the narrative, I will undertake this labor for you, and will attempt to clean out the Augean stable, if not entirely, at least to the best of my ability, carrying out a few baskets of manure, so that from them you may judge how great and unspeakable was the total mass of filth which three thousand oxen could produce over many years.
§2αἰδοῦμαι μὲν οὖν ὑπὲρ ἀμφοῖν, ὑπέρ τε σοῦ καὶ ἐμαυτοῦ· σοῦ μέν, ἀξιοῦντος μνήμῃ καὶ γραφῇ παραδοθῆναι ἄνδρα τρισκατάρατον, ἐμαυτοῦ δέ, σπουδὴν ποιουμένου ἐπὶ τοιαύτῃ ἱστορίᾳ καὶ πράξεσιν ἀνθρώπου, ὃν οὐκ ἀναγιγνώσκεσθαι πρὸς τῶν πεπαιδευμένων ἦν ἄξιον, ἀλλʼ ἐν πανδήμῳ τινὶ μεγίστῳ θεάτρῳ ὁρᾶσθαι ὑπὸ πιθήκων ἢ ἀλωπέκων σπαραττόμενον.
Indeed, I feel ashamed on behalf of both of us—both you and myself: you, for asking that a thrice-cursed man should be handed down to memory and writing, and myself, for spending my energy on such a history and on the deeds of a man who did not deserve to be read about by educated people, but rather to be seen in some vast public theater being torn to pieces by apes or foxes.
ἀλλʼ ἤν τις ἡμῖν ταύτην ἐπιφέρῃ τὴν αἰτίαν, ἕξομεν καὶ αὐτοὶ εἰς παράδειγμά τι τοιοῦτον ἀνενεγκεῖν.
But if anyone should bring this charge against us, we too shall have such a precedent to refer to.
καὶ Ἀρριανὸς γὰρ ὁ τοῦ Ἐπικτήτου μαθητής, ἀνὴρ Ῥωμαίων ἐν τοῖς πρώτοις καὶ παιδείᾳ παρʼ ὅλον τὸν βίον συγγενόμενος, ὅμοιόν τι παθὼν ἀπολογήσαιτʼ ἂν καὶ ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν· Τιλλορόβου γοῦν τοῦ λῃστοῦ κἀκεῖνος βίον ἀναγράψαι ἠξίωσεν.
For Arrian, the disciple of Epictetus, a man of the first rank among the Romans and one who spent his whole life in close contact with learning, having had a similar experience, might also plead on our behalf; at least he too thought it worth his while to write the life of Tillorobos the robber.
ἡμεῖς δὲ πολὺ ὠμοτέρου λῃστοῦ μνήμην ποιησόμεθα, ὅσῳ μὴ ἐν ὕλαις καὶ ἐν ὄρεσιν, ἀλλʼ ἐν πόλεσιν οὗτος ἐλῄστευεν, οὐ Μυσίαν μόνην οὐδὲ τὴν Ἴδην κατατρέχων οὐδὲ ὀλίγα τῆς Ἀσίας μέρη τὰ ἐρημότερα λεηλατῶν, ἀλλὰ πᾶσαν ὡς εἰπεῖν τὴν Ῥωμαίων ἀρχὴν ἐμπλήσας τῆς λῃστείας τῆς αὑτοῦ.
But we shall make mention of a far more savage robber, inasmuch as this man did not commit his robberies in forests and mountains, but in cities, not merely overrunning Mysia nor raiding Mount Ida, nor plundering a few of the more deserted parts of Asia, but, so to speak, filling the entire Roman empire with his robbery.
§3πρότερον δέ σοι αὐτὸν ὑπογράψω τῷ λόγῳ πρὸς τὸ ὁμοιότατον εἰκάσας, ὡς ἂν δύνωμαι, καίτοι μὴ πάνυ γραφικός τις ὤν.
But first I will sketch him for you in words, likeness to the best of my power, although I am not at all a skilled limner.
τὸ γὰρ δὴ σῶμα, ἵνα σοι καὶ τοῦτο δείξω, μέγας τε ἦν καὶ καλὸς ἰδεῖν καὶ θεοπρεπὴς ὡς ἀληθῶς, λευκὸς τὴν χρόαν, τὸ γένειον οὐ πάνυ λάσιος, κόμην τὴν μὲν ἰδίαν, τὴν δὲ καὶ πρόσθετον ἐπικείμενος εὖ μάλα εἰκασμένην καὶ τοὺς πολλοὺς ὅτι ἦν ἀλλοτρία λεληθυῖαν·
For as to his body, to show you this as well, he was tall and handsome to look upon, truly godlike in appearance, fair of complexion, his beard not very thick, wearing hair— partly his own, and partly also false, so well matched that it escaped the notice of most people that it was not his own.
ὀφθαλμοὶ πολὺ τὸ γοργὸν καὶ ἔνθεον διεμφαίνοντες, φώνημα ἥδιστόν τε ἅμα καὶ λαμπρότατον· καὶ ὅλως οὐδαμόθεν μεμπτὸς ἦν ταῦτά γε.
His eyes showed a great deal of fierceness and divine inspiration, and his voice was at once very sweet and very clear; and in general, in these respects at least, he was blameless from every point of view.
§4τοιόσδε μὲν τὴν μορφήν·
Such was his form.
ἡ ψυχὴ δὲ καὶ ἡ γνώμη — ἀλεξίκακε Ἡράκλεις καὶ Ζεῦ ἀποτρόπαιε καὶ Διόσκουροι σωτῆρες, πολεμίοις καὶ ἐχθροῖς ἐντυχεῖν γένοιτο καὶ συγγενέσθαι τοιούτῳ τινί.
But his soul and his mind—preventer of evil Heracles, and Zeus averter of mischief, and savior Dioscuri! May it be the lot of enemies and foes to encounter and associate with such a man!
συνέσει μὲν γὰρ καὶ ἀγχινοίᾳ καὶ δριμύτητι πάμπολυ τῶν ἄλλων διέφερεν, καὶ τό τε περίεργον καὶ εὐμαθὲς καὶ μνημονικὸν καὶ πρὸς τὰ μαθήματα εὐφυές, πάντα ταῦτα εἰς ὑπερβολὴν ἑκασταχοῦ ὑπῆρχεν αὐτῷ.
For in intelligence, quickness of wit, and sharpness, he far excelled all others; and curiosity, ease of learning, memory, and natural aptitude for all studies, all these things were present in him to excess everywhere.
ἐχρῆτο δὲ αὐτοῖς εἰς τὸ χείριστον, καὶ ὄργανα ταῦτα γενναῖα ὑποβεβλημένα ἔχων αὐτίκα μάλα τῶν ἐπὶ κακίᾳ διαβοήτων ἀκρότατος ἀπετελέσθη, ὑπὲρ τοὺς Κέρκωπας, ὑπὲρ τὸν Εὐρύβατον ἢ Φρυνώνδαν ἢ Ἀριστόδημον ἢ Σώστρατον.
But he used them for the very worst, and having these noble instruments at his disposal, he was very soon made the very highest among those infamous for vice, surpassing the Cercopes, Eurybatus, Phrynondas, Aristodemus, or Sostratus.
αὐτὸς μὲν γὰρ τῷ γαμβρῷ Ῥουτιλιανῷ ποτε γράφων καὶ τὰ μετριώτατα ὑπὲρ αὑτοῦ λέγων Πυθαγόρᾳ ὅμοιος εἶναι ἠξίου.
For he himself, writing once to his son-in-law Rutilianus and speaking of himself with the greatest moderation, claimed to be like Pythagoras.
ἀλλʼ ἵλεως μὲν ὁ Πυθαγόρας εἴη, σοφὸς ἀνὴρ καὶ τὴν γνώμην θεσπέσιος, εἰ δὲ κατὰ τοῦτον ἐγεγένητο, παῖς ἂν εὖ οἶδʼ ὅτι πρὸς αὐτὸν εἶναι ἔδοξε.
But may Pythagoras be merciful—a wise man and divine in mind—but if he had lived in this man’s time, I know well that he would have seemed a child in comparison with him.
καὶ πρὸς Χαρίτων μή με νομίσῃς ἐφʼ ὕβρει ταῦτα τοῦ Πυθαγόρου λέγειν ἢ συνάπτειν πειρώμενον αὐτοὺς πρὸς ὁμοιότητα τῶν πράξεων· ἀλλʼ εἴ τις τὰ χείριστα καὶ βλασφημότατα τῶν ἐπὶ διαβολῇ περὶ τοῦ Πυθαγόρου λεγομένων, οἷς ἔγωγε οὐκ ἂν πεισθείην ὡς ἀληθέσιν οὖσιν, ὅμως συναγάγοι εἰς τὸ αὐτό, πολλοστὸν ἂν μέρος ἅπαντα ἐκεῖνα γένοιτο τῆς Ἀλεξάνδρου δεινότητος.
And, by the Graces, do not think that I say this to insult Pythagoras, or that I am trying to connect them in likeness of deeds; but if one should gather together all the worst and most blasphemous things said in slander about Pythagoras—which I for my part would never believe to be true—yet all those things together would be but a tiny fraction of Alexander's cleverness.
ὅλως γὰρ ἐπινόησόν μοι καὶ τῷ λογισμῷ διατύπωσον ποικιλωτάτην τινὰ ψυχῆς κρᾶσιν ἐκ ψεύδους καὶ δόλων καὶ ἐπιορκιῶν καὶ κακοτεχνιῶν συγκειμένην, ῥᾳδίαν, τολμηράν, παράβολον, φιλόπονον ἐξεργάσασθαι τὰ νοηθέντα, καὶ πιθανὴν καὶ ἀξιόπιστον καὶ ὑποκριτικὴν τοῦ βελτίονος καὶ τῷ ἐναντιωτάτῳ τῆς βουλήσεως ἐοικυῖαν.
In short, imagine for me and picture in your mind a most complex mixture of soul, made up of lies, deceit, perjury, and malicious arts, quick, daring, reckless, industrious in carrying out its designs, persuasive, credible, and playing the part of the better man well, resembling the very opposite of its actual purpose.
οὐδεὶς γοῦν τὸ πρῶτον ἐντυχὼν οὐκ ἀπῆλθε δόξαν λαβὼν ὑπὲρ αὐτοῦ ὡς εἴη πάντων ἀνθρώπων χρηστότατος καὶ ἐπιεικέστατος καὶ προσέτι ἁπλοϊκώτατός τε καὶ ἀφελέστατος.
At any rate, no one on first meeting him went away without having formed the opinion of him that he was the best and most reasonable of all men, and moreover the most simple and frank.
ἐπὶ πᾶσι δὲ τούτοις τὸ μεγαλουργὸν προσῆν καὶ τὸ μηδὲν μικρὸν ἐπινοεῖν, ἀλλʼ ἀεὶ τοῖς μεγίστοις ἐπέχειν τὸν νοῦν.
And to all these was added a scale of enterprise, and a mind that conceived nothing small, but always turned its attention to the greatest things.