§8Μένιππος
τὴν μὲν γὰρ ἐναντιότητα τῶν λόγων ὁπόση ῥᾴδιον καταμαθεῖν.
Menippus: Indeed, it is easy to understand how great the contradiction of their arguments is.
καὶ σκόπει πρὸς Διός, εἰ ἐν γειτόνων ἐστὶ τὰ δόγματα καὶ μὴ πάμπολυ διεστηκότα·
And consider, by Zeus, if their dogmas are next-door to each other and not vastly separated!
πρῶτα μὲν γὰρ αὐτοῖς ἡ περὶ τοῦ κόσμου γνώμη διάφορος, εἴ γε τοῖς μὲν ἀγέννητός τε καὶ ἀνώλεθρος εἶναι δοκεῖ, οἱ δὲ καὶ τὸν δημιουργὸν αὐτοῦ καὶ τῆς κατασκευῆς τὸν τρόπον εἰπεῖν ἐτόλμησαν·
For first of all, their opinion about the universe is different, since to some it seems to be uncreated and imperishable, while others dared to state both its creator and the manner of its construction.
οὓς καὶ μάλιστα ἐθαύμαζον θεὸν μέν τινα τεχνίτην τῶν ὅλων ἐφιστάντας, οὐ προστιθέντας δὲ οὔτε ὅθεν ἥκων οὔτε ὅπου ἑστὼς ἕκαστα ἐτεκταίνετο, καίτοι πρό γε τῆς τοῦ παντὸς γενέσεως ἀδύνατον καὶ χρόνον καὶ τόπον ἐπινοεῖν.
I wondered at these latter most of all, because they set up a certain god as the craftsman of the universe, but did not add either whence he came or where he stood when he fashioned each thing, although before the creation of the universe it is impossible to conceive of either time or place.
Ἕταιρος
μάλα τινάς, ὦ Μένιππε, τολμητὰς καὶ θαυματοποιοὺς ἄνδρας λέγεις.
Companion: You speak of very daring and wonder-working men, Menippus!
Μένιππος
τί δʼ εἰ ἀκούσειας, ὦ θαυμάσιε, περί τε ἰδεῶν καὶ ἀσωμάτων ἃ διεξέρχονται ἢ τοὺς περὶ τοῦ πέρατός τε καὶ ἀπείρου λόγους;
Menippus: And what if you were to hear, my wonderful friend, about the ideas and incorporeal things they go through, or their arguments about the limit and the infinite?
καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ αὕτη νεανικὴ αὐτοῖς ἡ μάχη, τοῖς μὲν τέλει τὸ πᾶν περιγράφουσι, τοῖς δὲ ἀτελὲς τοῦτο εἶναι ὑπολαμβάνουσιν· οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ παμπόλλους τινὰς εἶναι τοὺς κόσμους ἀπεφαίνοντο καὶ τῶν ὡς περὶ ἑνὸς αὐτῶν διαλεγομένων κατεγίνωσκον.
For indeed, this battle of theirs is also vigorous: some limit the universe with a boundary, while others suppose it to be unlimited; moreover, they declared that there are infinitely many worlds, and condemned those who spoke of them as of one.
ἕτερος δέ τις οὐκ εἰρηνικὸς ἀνὴρ πόλεμον τῶν ὅλων πατέρα εἶναι ἐδόξαζε.
And another, a certain non-peaceable man, judged war to be the father of the universe.
§9Μένιππος
περὶ μὲν γὰρ τῶν θεῶν τί χρὴ καὶ λέγειν;
Menippus: For what is one even to say about the gods?
ὅπου τοῖς μὲν ἀριθμός τις ὁ θεὸς ἦν, οἱ δὲ κατὰ χηνῶν καὶ κυνῶν καὶ πλατάνων ἐπώμνυντο.
In a situation where to some, god was a certain number, while others swore by geese, dogs, and plane trees.
καὶ οἱ μὲν τοὺς ἄλλους ἅπαντας θεοὺς ἀπελάσαντες ἑνὶ μόνῳ τὴν τῶν ὅλων ἀρχὴν ἀπένεμον, ὥστε ἠρέμα καὶ ἄχθεσθαί με τοσαύτην ἀπορίαν θεῶν ἀκούοντα· οἱ δʼ ἔμπαλιν ἐπιδαψιλευόμενοι πολλούς τε αὐτοὺς ἀπέφαινον καὶ διελόμενοι τὸν μέν τινα πρῶτον θεὸν ἐπεκάλουν, τοῖς δὲ τὰ δεύτερα καὶ τρίτα ἔνεμον τῆς θειότητος·
And some, banishing all the other gods, assigned the rule of the universe to one alone, so that I was gently vexed at hearing of such a scarcity of gods; while others, on the contrary, being lavish, declared them to be many, and dividing them, called a certain one the first god, and assigned to others the second and third ranks of divinity.
ἔτι δὲ οἱ μὲν ἀσώματόν τι καὶ ἄμορφον ἡγοῦντο εἶναι τὸ θεῖον, οἱ δὲ ὡς περὶ σώματος αὐτοῦ διενοοῦντο.
Furthermore, some considered the divine to be something incorporeal and formless, while others thought of it as a body.
εἶτα καὶ προνοεῖν τῶν καθʼ ἡμᾶς πραγμάτων οὐ πᾶσιν ἐδόκουν οἱ θεοί, ἀλλʼ ἦσάν τινες οἱ τῆς συμπάσης ἐπιμελείας αὐτοὺς ἀφιέντες, ὥσπερ ἡμεῖς εἰώθαμεν ἀπολύειν τῶν λειτουργιῶν τοὺς παρηβηκότας· οὐδὲν γὰρ ὅτι μὴ τοῖς κωμικοῖς δορυφορήμασιν ἐοικότας αὐτοὺς εἰσάγουσιν.
Then, too, the gods did not seem to all to exercise providence over our affairs, but there were some who exempted them from all care, just as we are accustomed to release those past their prime from public services; for they introduce them as resembling nothing but silent extras in a comedy.
ἔνιοι δὲ ταῦτα πάντα ὑπερβάντες οὐδὲ τὴν ἀρχὴν εἶναι θεούς τινας ἐπίστευον, ἀλλʼ ἀδέσποτον καὶ ἀνηγεμόνευτον φέρεσθαι τὸν κόσμον ἀπελίμπανον.
And some, bypassing all these things, did not believe there were any gods at all, but left the universe to drift without a master and without a leader.
§10Μένιππος
τοιγάρτοι ταῦτα ἀκούων ἀπιστεῖν μὲν οὐκ ἐτόλμων ὑψιβρεμέταις τε καὶ ἠϋγενείοις ἀνδράσιν· οὐ μὴν εἶχόν γε ὅπη τῶν λόγων τραπόμενος ἀνεπίληπτόν τι αὐτῶν εὕροιμι καὶ ὑπὸ θατέρου μηδαμῆ περιτρεπόμενον.
Menippus: Therefore, hearing these things, I did not dare to disbelieve men who thunder on high and have noble beards; yet I did not know which way to turn among their arguments to find something of theirs that was blameless and in no way overturned by another.
ὥστε δὴ τὸ Ὁμηρικὸν ἐκεῖνο ἀτεχνῶς ἔπασχον· πολλάκις μὲν γὰρ ἂν ὥρμησα πιστεύειν τινὶ αὐτῶν,
"ἕτερος δέ με θυμὸς ἔρυκεν. "
Ἐφʼ οἷς ἅπασιν ἀμηχανῶν ἐπὶ γῆς μὲν ἀκούσεσθαί τι περὶ τούτων ἀληθὲς ἀπεγίνωσκον, μίαν δὲ τῆς συμπάσης ἀπορίας ἀπαλλαγὴν ᾤμην ἔσεσθαι, εἰ αὐτὸς πτερωθείς πως ἀνέλθοιμι εἰς τὸν οὐρανόν.
Consequently, I experienced literally that Homeric line: for many times I would start to believe one of them, "but another spirit held me back." Being helpless in all these matters, I despaired of hearing any truth about these things on earth, and I thought that there would be one single deliverance from all this perplexity, if I myself, having somehow acquired wings, should go up into heaven.
τούτου δέ μοι παρεῖχε τὴν ἐλπίδα μάλιστα μὲν ἡ ἐπιθυμία καὶ ὁ λογοποιὸς Αἴσωπος ἀετοῖς καὶ κανθάροις, ἐνίοτε καὶ καμήλοις βάσιμον ἀποφαίνων τὸν οὐρανόν.
Of this, my desire gave me hope, and most of all Aesop, the maker of fables, who represents heaven as accessible to eagles, beetles, and sometimes even camels.
αὐτὸν μὲν οὖν πτεροφυῆσαί ποτε οὐδεμιᾷ μηχανῇ δυνατὸν εἶναί μοι κατεφαίνετο· εἰ δὲ γυπὸς ἢ ἀετοῦ περιθείμην πτερά—ταῦτα γὰρ μόνα ἂν διαρκέσαι πρὸς μέγεθος ἀνθρωπίνου σώματος — τάχα ἄν μοι τὴν πεῖραν προχωρῆσαι.
Now, for myself to grow wings of my own seemed to me to be possible by no device; but if I were to put on the wings of a vulture or an eagle—for these alone would be sufficient for the size of a human body—perhaps my attempt would succeed.
καὶ δὴ συλλαβὼν τὰ ὄρνεα θατέρου μὲν τὴν δεξιὰν πτέρυγα, τοῦ γυπὸς δὲ τὴν ἑτέραν ἀπέτεμον εὖ μάλα· εἶτα διαδήσας καὶ κατὰ τοὺς ὤμους τελαμῶσι καρτεροῖς ἁρμοσάμενος καὶ πρὸς ἄκροις τοῖς ὠκυπτέροις λαβάς τινας ταῖς χερσὶ παρασκευάσας ἐπειρώμην ἐμαυτοῦ τὸ πρῶτον ἀναπηδῶν καὶ ταῖς χερσὶν ὑπηρετῶν καὶ ὥσπερ οἱ χῆνες ἔτι χαμαιπετῶς ἐπαιρόμενος καὶ ἀκροβατῶν ἅμα μετὰ τῆς πτήσεως·
And so, having caught the birds, I cut off the right wing of the one and the other wing of the vulture very carefully; then, having bound them on and fitted them to my shoulders with strong straps, and having provided some hand-grips for my hands at the tips of the flight-feathers, I tried myself at first by leaping up and assisting with my hands, and, like geese, rising while still close to the ground, and walking on tiptoe along with my flight.
ἐπεὶ δὲ ὑπήκουέ μοι τὸ χρῆμα, τολμηρότερον ἤδη τῆς πείρας ἡπτόμην, καὶ ἀνελθὼν ἐπὶ τὴν ἀκρόπολιν ἀφῆκα ἐμαυτὸν κατὰ τοῦ κρημνοῦ φέρων ἐς αὐτὸ τὸ θέατρον.
Since the thing obeyed me, I now set about the attempt more boldly, and having gone up to the Acropolis, I cast myself down the cliff, bearing myself toward the theater itself.