§28Μῶμος
τοῦτο μὲν ὀρθῶς ἔλεξας, ὦ Ἄπολλον, ἐπαινέσας τοὺς σαφῶς λέγοντας, εἰ καὶ μὴ πάνυ ποιεῖς αὐτὸ σὺ ἐν τοῖς χρησμοῖς λοξὸς ὢν καὶ γριφώδης καὶ ἐς τὸ μεταίχμιον ἀσφαλῶς ἀπορρίπτων τὰ πολλά, ὡς τοὺς ἀκούοντας ἄλλου δεῖσθαι Πυθίου πρὸς τὴν ἐξήγησιν αὐτῶν.
Momus: You have spoken correctly, Apollo, in praising those who speak clearly, even if you yourself do not do this at all in your oracles, being crooked and riddle-like, and safely casting most things into the middle ground, so that the listeners need another Pythian for their explanation.
ἀτὰρ τί τὸ ἐπὶ τούτῳ συμβουλεύεις;
But what do you advise next?
τίνα ἴασιν ποιήσασθαι τῆς Τιμοκλέους ἀδυναμίας ἐν τοῖς λόγοις;
What cure is to be made for Timocles' weakness in speaking?
§29Ἀπόλλων
συνήγορον, ὦ Μῶμε, εἴ πως δυνηθείημεν, αὐτῷ παρασχεῖν ἄλλον τῶν δεινῶν τούτων, ἐροῦντα κατʼ ἀξίαν ἅπερ ἂν ἐκεῖνος ἐνθυμηθεὶς ὑποβάλῃ.
Apollo: We should provide him, Momus, if we can somehow do so, with another of these clever men as an advocate, to speak worthily of what he might think of and suggest.
Μῶμος
ἀγένειον τοῦτο ὡς ἀληθῶς εἴρηκας, ἔτι παιδαγωγοῦ τινος δεόμενον, συνήγορον ἐν συνουσίᾳ φιλοσόφων παραστήσασθαι ἑρμηνεύσοντα πρὸς τοὺς παρόντας ἅπερ ἂν δοκῇ Τιμοκλεῖ, καὶ τὸν μὲν Δᾶμιν αὐτοπρόσωπον καὶ διʼ αὑτοῦ λέγειν, τὸν δὲ ὑποκριτῇ προσχρώμενον ἰδίᾳ πρὸς τὸ οὖς ἐκείνῳ ὑποβάλλειν τὰ δοκοῦντα, τὸν ὑποκριτὴν δὲ ῥητορεύειν, οὐδʼ αὐτὸν ἴσως συνιέντα ὅ τι ἀκούσειε.
Momus: You have spoken this in a truly beardless way, still needing some tutor—to station an advocate at a gathering of philosophers to interpret to those present whatever Timocles thinks, and for Damis to speak in person and by himself, while Timocles, employing an actor, privately whispers his thoughts into his ear, and the actor declaims, perhaps not even understanding himself what he hears.
ταῦτα πῶς οὐ γέλως ἂν εἴη τῷ πλήθει;
How would this not be a laughing-stock to the crowd?
ἀλλὰ τοῦτο μὲν ἄλλως ἐπινοήσωμεν.
But let us devise something else instead of this.
§30Μῶμος
σὺ δέ, ὦ θαυμάσιε — φὴς γὰρ καὶ μάντις εἶναι καὶ μισθοὺς οὐκ ὀλίγους ἐπὶ τῷ τοιούτῳ ἐξέλεξας ἄχρι τοῦ καὶ πλίνθους χρυσᾶς ποτε εἰληφέναι — τί οὐκ ἐπεδείξω ἡμῖν κατὰ καιρὸν τὴν τέχνην προειπὼν ὁπότερος τῶν σοφιστῶν κρατήσει λέγων;
Momus: And you, my wondrous friend—since you say you are also a prophet and have collected no small fees for such work, even to the point of once receiving golden bricks—why did you not show us your art at the proper time by foretelling which of the sophists will prevail in debate?
οἶσθα γάρ που τὸ ἀποβησόμενον μάντις ὤν.
For you surely know what will turn out, being a prophet.
Ἀπόλλων
πῶς, ὦ Μῶμε, δυνατὸν ποιεῖν ταῦτα μήτε τρίποδος ἡμῖν παρόντος μήτε θυμιαμάτων ἢ πηγῆς μαντικῆς οἵα ἡ Κασταλία ἐστίν;
Apollo: How is it possible, Momus, to do these things when we have neither a tripod present, nor incense, nor a prophetic spring such as Castalia is?
Μῶμος
ὁρᾷς;
Momus: Do you see?
ἀποδιδράσκεις τὸν ἔλεγχον ἐν στενῷ ἐχόμενος.
You run away from the test when you are caught in a tight corner.
Ζεύς
ὅμως, ὦ τέκνον, εἰπὲ καὶ μὴ παράσχῃς τῷ συκοφάντῃ τούτῳ ἀφορμὰς διαβάλλειν καὶ χλευάζειν τὰ σὰ ὡς ἐπὶ τρίποδι καὶ ὕδατι καὶ λιβανωτῷ κείμενα, ὡς, εἰ μὴ ἔχοις ταῦτα, στερησόμενόν σε τῆς τέχνης.
Zeus: Nevertheless, my child, speak, and do not provide this slanderer with opportunities to defame and mock your affairs as depending on a tripod, water, and frankincense, as if you would be deprived of your art if you did not have these.
Ἀπόλλων
ἄμεινον μὲν ἦν, ὦ πάτερ, ἐν Δελφοῖς ἢ Κολοφῶνι τὰ τοιαῦτα ποιεῖν, ἁπάντων μοι τῶν χρησίμων παρόντων, ὡς ἔθος.
Apollo: It would have been better, father, to do such things in Delphi or Colophon, with all my useful things present, as is custom.
ὅμως δὲ καὶ οὕτω γυμνὸς ἐκείνων καὶ ἄσκευος πειράσομαι προειπεῖν ὁποτέρου τὸ κράτος ἔσται· ἀνέξεσθε δέ, εἰ μὴ ἔμμετρα λέγοιμι.
Nevertheless, even thus stripped of those and without equipment, I will try to foretell which one will have the victory; but bear with me if I do not speak in verse.
Μῶμος
λέγε μόνον, σαφῆ δέ, ὦ Ἄπολλον, καὶ οὐ συνηγόρου καὶ αὐτὰ ἢ ἑρμηνέως δεόμενα· καὶ γὰρ οὐκ ἄρνεια κρέα καὶ χελώνη νῦν ἐν Λυδίᾳ συνέψεται·
Momus: Only speak, and clearly, Apollo, and not needing an advocate or an interpreter themselves; for indeed, lamb's meat and a tortoise are not being boiled together in Lydia now.
ἀλλὰ οἶσθα περὶ ὅτου ἡ σκέψις.
But you know what the inquiry is about.
Ζεύς
Τί ποτε ἐρεῖς, ὦ τέκνον;
Zeus: What on earth are you going to say, my child?
ὡς τά γε πρὸ τοῦ χρησμοῦ ταῦτα ἤδη φοβερά· ἡ χρόα τετραμμένη, οἱ ὀφθαλμοὶ περιφερεῖς, κόμη ἀνασοβουμένη, κίνημα κορυβαντῶδες, καὶ ὅλως κατόχιμα πάντα καὶ φρικώδη καὶ μυστικά.
Since even these preliminaries before the oracle are already terrifying: your color is changed, your eyes are rolling, your hair is bristling, movement Corybantic, and altogether everything is possessed, fearful, and mystical.
§31Ἀπόλλων
κέκλυτε μαντιπόλου τόδε θέσφατον Ἀπόλλωνος
ἀμφʼ ἔριδος κρυερῆς, τὴν ἀνέρες ἐστήσαντο
ὀξυβόαι, μύθοισι κορυσσόμενοι πυκινοῖσι.
Apollo: Hear this decree of the prophetic Apollo About the chilling strife, which sharp-shouting men Have stirred up, armed with thick-set words.
πολλὰ γὰρ ἔνθα καὶ ἔνθα μόθου ἑτεραλκέϊ κλωγμῷ
ταρφέος ἄκρα κόρυμβα καταπλήσσουσιν ἐχέτλης.
For many on this side and that, with the fight-deciding cry of battle, Are striking the high tips of the dense plow-tail.
ἀλλʼ ὅταν αἰγυπιὸς γαμψώνυχος ἀκρίδα μάρψῃ,
δὴ τότε λοίσθιον ὀμβροφόροι κλάγξουσι κορῶναι.
But when the crook-taloned vulture shall clutch the locust, Then indeed the rain-bringing crows shall cry their last.
νίκη δʼ ἡμιόνων, ὁ δʼ ὄνος θοὰ τέκνα κορύψει.
And victory shall belong to the mules, and the ass shall butt the swift children.
Ζεύς
τί τοῦτο ἀνεκάγχασας, ὦ Μῶμε;
Zeus: Why did you burst out laughing, Momus?
καὶ μὴν οὐ γελοῖα τὰ ἐν ποσί·
Indeed, the things before us are not ridiculous.
παῦσαι κακόδαιμον, ἀποπνιγήσῃ ὑπὸ τοῦ γέλωτος.
Stop, you wretch, you will choke from laughter!
Μῶμος
καὶ πῶς δυνατόν, ὦ Ζεῦ, ἐφʼ οὕτω σαφεῖ καὶ προδήλῳ τῷ χρησμῷ;
Momus: And how is it possible not to, Zeus, in the face of so clear and obvious an oracle?
Ζεύς
οὐκοῦν καὶ ἡμῖν ἤδη ἑρμηνεύοις ἂν αὐτὸν ὅ τι καὶ λέγει.
Zeus: Then would you interpret it for us already, as to what it actually says?
Μῶμος
πάνυ πρόδηλα, ὥστε οὐδὲν ἡμῖν Θεμιστοκλέους δεήσει· φησὶ γὰρ τὸ λόγιον οὑτωσὶ διαρρήδην γόητα μὲν εἶναι τοῦτον, ὑμᾶς δὲ ὄνους κανθηλίους νὴ Δία καὶ ἡμιόνους, τοὺς πιστεύοντας αὐτῷ, οὐδʼ ὅσον αἱ ἀκρίδες τὸν νοῦν ἔχοντας.
Momus: It is entirely obvious, so that we shall not need any Themistocles; for the oracle says quite explicitly that this man is a cheat, and that you, by Zeus, are pack-asses and mules, who believe him, having not even as much sense as locusts.