§901bὡς οὐδείς γʼ ἀνήρ.
Like no other man.
§902καὶ μὴν ἐπερωτηθεὶς ἀπόκριναί μοι.
Then answer my question.
§902bτὸ τί;
What is it?
§903γεωργὸς εἶ;
Are you a farmer?
§903bμελαγχολᾶν μʼ οὕτως οἴει;
Do you think I am so mad?
§904ἀλλʼ ἔμπορος;
Well, a merchant?
§904bναί, σκήπτομαί γʼ, ὅταν τύχω.
Yes, I pretend to be, when it suits me.
§905τί δαί;
What then?
τέχνην τινʼ ἔμαθες;
Have you learned some trade?
§905bοὐ μὰ τὸν Δία.
By Zeus, certainly not.
§906πῶς οὖν διέζης ἢ πόθεν μηδὲν ποιῶν;
How then did you live, or from where, doing nothing?
I am the overseer of the affairs of the city and of all private matters.
§908bσύ;
You?
τί μαθών;
What put that into your head?
§908cβούλομαι.
I wish to.
How then could you be good, you housebreaker, if you are detested for things that do not concern you?
Does it not concern me, o simpleton, to benefit my own city to the best of my power?
§913εὐεργετεῖν οὖν ἐστι τὸ πολυπραγμονεῖν;
Is benefiting, then, the same as meddling?
Rather, helping the established laws and not permitting anyone to transgress.
Does not the city then purposely appoint judges to rule?
§917bκατηγορεῖ δὲ τίς;
And who makes the accusation?
§918ὁ βουλόμενος.
Whoever wishes to.
Therefore, I am that person, so that the affairs of the city have come to me.
§920νὴ Δία πονηρόν γʼ ἆρα προστάτην ἔχει.
By Zeus, then, it has a wicked protector indeed.
But would you not prefer to live in quiet, doing nothing?
But you are speaking of a sheep's life, if some occupation does not appear in life.
§924οὐδʼ ἂν μεταμάθοις;
Would you not even learn otherwise?
Not even if you were to give me Plutus himself and the silphium of Battus.
§926κατάθου ταχέως θοἰμάτιον.
Take off your cloak quickly.
§926bοὗτος, σοὶ λέγει.
Hey, he is speaking to you.
§927ἔπειθʼ ὑπόλυσαι.
Then take off your shoes.
§927bταῦτα πάντα σοὶ λέγει.
All these things he is saying to you.
Now let whoever of you wishes approach me here.
§929bοὐκοῦν ἐκεῖνός εἰμʼ ἐγώ.
Therefore, I am that person.
§930οἴμοι τάλας ἀποδύομαι μεθʼ ἡμέραν.
Ah, wretched me, I am being stripped in broad daylight!
§931σὺ γὰρ ἀξιοῖς τἀλλότρια πράττων ἐσθίειν.
For you claim to eat by meddling in other people's affairs.
§932ὁρᾷς ἃ ποιεῖς;
Do you see what you are doing?
ταῦτʼ ἐγὼ μαρτύρομαι.
I call this to witness!
§933ἀλλʼ οἴχεται φεύγων ὃν ἦγες μάρτυρα.
But the witness you brought has run away.
§934οἴμοι περιείλημμαι μόνος.
Ah, wretched me, I am caught alone!
§934bνυνὶ βοᾷς;
Are you crying out now?
§935οἴμοι μάλʼ αὖθις.
Ah, once again!
You, give me the worn cloak, so that I may clothe this informer with it.
§937μὴ δῆθʼ· ἱερὸν γάρ ἐστι τοῦ Πλούτου πάλαι.
Certainly not; for it has long been sacred to Plutus.
Then where will it be more beautifully dedicated than around a wicked man and a housebreaker?
§940Πλοῦτον δὲ κοσμεῖν ἱματίοις σεμνοῖς πρέπει.
Indeed, it is fitting to adorn Plutus with solemn garments.
§941τοῖς δʼ ἐμβαδίοις τί χρήσεταί τις;
And what will one do with the shoes?
εἰπέ μοι.
Tell me.
These too I will nail right now to his forehead, like a wild olive crown, with this nail.
ἐὰν δὲ σύζυγον λάβω τινὰ §946καὶ σύκινον, τοῦτον τὸν ἰσχυρὸν θεὸν §947ἐγὼ ποιήσω τήμερον δοῦναι δίκην, §948ὁτιὴ καταλύει περιφανῶς εἶς ὢν μόνος §949τὴν δημοκρατίαν, οὔτε τὴν βουλὴν πιθὼν §950τὴν τῶν πολιτῶν οὔτε τὴν ἐκκλησίαν.
But if I get some partner, even a "fig-wood" one, I will make this powerful god pay the penalty today, because he, being only one, is clearly destroying the democracy, without having persuaded either the council of the citizens or the assembly.
§951καὶ μὴν ἐπειδὴ τὴν πανοπλίαν τὴν ἐμὴν §952ἔχων βαδίζεις, ἐς τὸ βαλανεῖον τρέχε· §953ἔπειτʼ ἐκεῖ κορυφαῖος ἑστηκὼς θέρου.
Indeed, since you are walking around wearing my armor, run to the bathhouse; then stand there in the best place and warm yourself.
§954κἀγὼ γὰρ εἶχον τὴν στάσιν ταύτην ποτέ.
For I too once held this station.
§955ἀλλʼ ὁ βαλανεὺς ἕλξει θύραζʼ αὐτὸν λαβὼν §956τῶν ὀρχιπέδων· ἰδὼν γὰρ αὐτὸν γνώσεται §957ὅτι ἔστʼ ἐκείνου τοῦ πονηροῦ κόμματος.
But the bath-keeper will drag him out by his testicles; for when he sees him, he will know that he is of that wicked stamp.
§958νὼ δʼ εἰσίωμεν, ἵνα προσεύξῃ τὸν θεόν.
Let us two go inside, so that you may pray to the god.
§959ἆρʼ ὦ φίλοι γέροντες ἐπὶ τὴν οἰκίαν §960ἀφίγμεθʼ ὄντως τοῦ νέου τούτου θεοῦ, §961ἢ τῆς ὁδοῦ τὸ παράπαν ἡμαρτήκαμεν;
Tell me, o friendly elders, have we really arrived at the house of this new god, or have we entirely missed the way?
But know that you have arrived at the very doors, young lass; for you inquire so youthfully.
§964φέρε νυν ἐγὼ τῶν ἔνδοθεν καλέσω τινά.
Come now, let me call someone from within.
§965μὴ δῆτʼ· ἐγὼ γὰρ αὐτὸς ἐξελήλυθα.
Certainly not; for I myself have just come out.
§966ἀλλʼ ὅ τι μάλιστʼ ἐλήλυθας λέγειν σʼ ἐχρῆν.
But you ought to tell me what you have come for.
§967πέπονθα δεινὰ καὶ παράνομʼ ὦ φίλτατε· §968ἀφʼ οὗ γὰρ ὁ θεὸς οὗτος ἤρξατο βλέπειν, §969ἀβίωτον εἶναί μοι πεποίηκε τὸν βίον.
I have suffered terrible and lawless things, o dearest one; for since this god began to see, he has made my life unlivable.
§970τί δʼ ἔστιν;
What is it?
ἦ που καὶ σὺ συκοφάντρια §971εν ταῖς γυναιξὶν ἦσθα;
Were you too perhaps an informer among the women?
§971bμὰ Δίʼ ἐγὼ μὲν οὔ.
By Zeus, not I.
§972ἀλλʼ οὐ λαχοῦσʼ ἔπινες ἐν τῷ γράμματι;
Or did you drink under the letter without having drawn a lot?
§973σκώπτεις· ἐγὼ δὲ κατακέκνισμαι δειλάκρα.
You are mocking; but I, miserable one, am stung to the quick.
§974οὔκουν ἐρεῖς ἀνύσασα τὸν κνισμὸν τίνα;
Won't you then tell me quickly what that sting is?
§975ἄκουέ νυν.
Listen then.
ἦν μοί τι μειράκιον φίλον, §976πενιχρὸν μέν, ἄλλως δʼ εὐπρόσωπον καὶ καλὸν §977καὶ χρηστόν· εἰ γάρ του δεηθείην ἐγώ, §978ἅπαντʼ ἐποίει κοσμίως μοι καὶ καλῶς· §979ἐγὼ δʼ ἐκείνῳ πάντα ταῦθʼ ὑπηρέτουν.
I had a certain young friend, poor indeed, but otherwise fair of face and beautiful and good; for if I needed anything, he would perform everything decently and beautifully for me; and I, in turn, would minister to all his needs.