§168ταῦτʼ ἄρʼ ὁ Φιλοκλέης αἰσχρὸς ὢν αἰσχρῶς ποιεῖ, §169ὁ δʼ αὖ Ξενοκλέης ὢν κακὸς κακῶς ποιεῖ, §170ὁ δʼ αὖ Θέογνις ψυχρὸς ὢν ψυχρῶς ποιεῖ. §171ἅπασʼ ἀνάγκη· ταῦτα γάρ τοι γνοὺς ἐγὼ §172ἐμαυτὸν ἐθεράπευσα. §172bπῶς πρὸς τῶν θεῶν; §173παῦσαι βαΰζων· καὶ γὰρ ἐγὼ τοιοῦτος ἦν §174ὢν τηλικοῦτος, ἡνίκʼ ἠρχόμην ποιεῖν. §175μὰ τὸν Δίʼ οὐ ζηλῶ σε τῆς παιδεύσεως. §176ἀλλʼ ὧνπερ οὕνεκʼ ἦλθον, ἔα μʼ εἰπεῖν. §176bλέγε. §177Ἀγάθων, σοφοῦ πρὸς ἀνδρός, ὅστις ἐν βραχεῖ §178πολλοὺς καλῶς οἷός τε συντέμνειν λόγους. §179ἐγὼ δὲ καινῇ ξυμφορᾷ πεπληγμένος §180ἱκέτης ἀφῖγμαι πρὸς σέ. §180bτοῦ χρείαν ἔχων; §181μέλλουσί μʼ αἱ γυναῖκες ἀπολεῖν τήμερον §182τοῖς Θεσμοφορίοις, ὅτι κακῶς αὐτὰς λέγω. §183τίς οὖν παρʼ ἡμῶν ἐστιν ὠφέλειά σοι; §184ἡ πᾶσʼ· ἐὰν γὰρ ἐγκαθεζόμενος λάθρᾳ §185ἐν ταῖς γυναιξίν, ὡς δοκῶν εἶναι γυνή, §186ὑπεραποκρίνῃ μου, σαφῶς σώσεις ἐμέ. §187μόνος γὰρ ἂν λέξειας ἀξίως ἐμοῦ. §188ἔπειτα πῶς οὐκ αὐτὸς ἀπολογεῖ παρών; §189ἐγὼ φράσω σοι.
Agathon: "For this very reason Philocles, being ugly, writes uglily," "and Xenocles in turn, being bad, writes badly," "and Theognis in turn, being cold, writes coldly." "It is an absolute necessity; for I, knowing these things," "took care of myself." Mnesilochus: "By the gods, how?" Agathon: "Stop barking; for I too was such a man," "being of this age, when I first began to write." Mnesilochus: "By Zeus, I do not envy you for your training." Euripides: "But let me state the purpose for which I came." Agathon: "Speak." Euripides: "Agathon, it belongs to a wise man, who is able" "to compress many thoughts beautifully into a brief space." "But I, struck by a new calamity," "have come to you as a suppliant." Agathon: "What do you need?" Euripides: "The women are going to destroy me today" "at the Thesmophoria, because I speak ill of them." Agathon: "So what help can you get from us?" Euripides: "Every help; for if you, sitting secretly" "among the women, appearing to be a woman," "will speak in my defense, you will clearly save me." "For you alone can speak in a manner worthy of me." Agathon: "Then why don't you go yourself and defend yourself?" Euripides: "I will tell you.
πρῶτα μὲν γιγνώσκομαι· §190ἔπειτα πολιός εἰμι καὶ πώγωνʼ ἔχω, §191σὺ δʼ εὐπρόσωπος λευκὸς ἐξυρημένος §192γυναικόφωνος ἁπαλὸς εὐπρεπὴς ἰδεῖν. §193Εὐριπίδη— §193bτί ἔστιν; §193cἐποίησάς ποτε, §194χαίρεις ὁρῶν φῶς, πατέρα δʼ οὐ χαίρειν δοκεῖς;
First, I am known;" "secondly, I am gray-haired and have a beard," "but you are fair-faced, pale, clean-shaven," "woman-voiced, soft, and fair to look upon." Agathon: "Euripides—" Euripides: "What is it?" Agathon: "You once wrote," "'You rejoice to see the light; do you think your father does not rejoice?'" Euripides: "I did indeed." Agathon: "Do not expect, then, that we" "will take upon ourselves your trouble.
§195ἔγωγε. §195bμή νυν ἐλπίσῃς τὸ σὸν κακὸν §196ἡμᾶς ὑφέξειν. καὶ γὰρ ἂν μαινοίμεθʼ ἄν. §197ἀλλʼ αὐτὸς ὅ γε σόν ἐστιν οἰκείως φέρε. §198τὰς συμφορὰς γὰρ οὐχὶ τοῖς τεχνάσμασιν §199φέρειν δίκαιον ἀλλὰ τοῖς παθήμασιν. §200καὶ μὴν ού γʼ ὦ κατάπυγον εὐρύπρωκτος εἶ §201οὐ τοῖς λόγοισιν ἀλλὰ τοῖς παθήμασιν.
For we would be mad." "But endure what is your own yourself, in your own way." "For it is right to bear calamities not by tricks," "but by actual sufferings." Mnesilochus: "And indeed, you, O pathic, have a wide backside," "not by words but by actual sufferings." Euripides: "But what is it that you fear about going there?" Agathon: "I would perish more miserably than you." Euripides: "How?" Agathon: "How?" "By being thought to steal the nightly doings of women," "and to snatch away the female love." Mnesilochus: "Look at that, 'to steal' indeed!
§202τί δʼ ἔστιν ὅτι δέδοικας ἐλθεῖν αὐτόσε; §203κάκιον ἀπολοίμην ἂν ἢ σύ. §203bπῶς; §203cὅπως; §204δοκῶν γυναικῶν ἔργα νυκτερείσια §205κλέπτειν ὑφαρπάζειν τε θήλειαν Κύπριν. §206ἰδού γε κλέπτειν· νὴ Δία βινεῖσθαι μὲν οὖν. §207ἀτὰρ ἡ πρόφασίς γε νὴ Δίʼ εἰκότως ἔχει.
By Zeus, rather to be buggered." "Yet the excuse, by Zeus, is reasonable." Euripides: "So then?
§208τί οὖν; ποιήσεις ταῦτα; §208bμὴ δόκει γε σύ. §209ὦ τρισκακοδαίμων ὡς ἀπόλωλʼ Εὐριπίδης. §210ὦ φίλτατʼ ὦ κηδεστὰ μὴ σαυτὸν προδῷς. §211πῶς οὖν ποιήσω δῆτα; §211bτοῦτον μὲν μακρὰ §212κλάειν κέλευʼ, ἐμοὶ δʼ ὅ τι βούλει χρῶ λαβών. §213ἄγε νυν ἐπειδὴ σαυτὸν ἐπιδίδως ἐμοί, §214ἀπόδυθι τουτὶ θοἰμάτιον. §214bκαὶ δὴ χαμαί. §215ἀτὰρ τί μέλλεις δρᾶν μʼ; §215bἀποξυρεῖν ταδί, §216τὰ κάτω δʼ ἀφεύειν. §216bἀλλὰ πρᾶττʼ, εἴ σοι δοκεῖ. §217ἢ μὴʼ πιδοῦνʼ ἐμαυτὸν ὤφελόν ποτε. §218Ἀγάθων σὺ μέντοι ξυροφορεῖς ἑκάστοτε, §219χρῆσόν τί νυν ἡμῖν ξυρόν. §219bαὐτὸς λάμβανε §220ἐντεῦθεν ἐκ τῆς ξυροδόκης. §220bγενναῖος εἶ. §221κάθιξε· φύσα τὴν γνάθον τὴν δεξιάν.
Will you do this?" Agathon: "Do not even think so." Euripides: "O thrice-unhappy me, how Euripides is ruined!" Mnesilochus: "O dearest relative, do not betray yourself." Euripides: "Then what indeed shall I do?" Mnesilochus: "Tell this fellow to go" "and weep long, and take me and use me as you wish." Euripides: "Come then, since you surrender yourself to me," "strip off this cloak." Mnesilochus: "There, it's on the ground." "But what are you going to do to me?" Euripides: "To shave this off," "and to singe your parts below." Mnesilochus: "Well, do it, if it seems good to you." "Oh, would that I had never surrendered myself!" Euripides: "Agathon, you always carry a razor," "lend us a razor now." Agathon: "Take it yourself" "from there, out of the razor-case." Euripides: "You are noble." "Sit down; puff out your right cheek." Mnesilochus: "Oh my!" Euripides: "Why do you scream?
I will drive a peg into you," "unless you keep quiet." Mnesilochus: "Oh dear!
§223bἀτταταῖ ἰατταταῖ. §224οὗτος σὺ ποῖ θεῖς; §224bἐς τὸ τῶν σεμνῶν θεῶν· §225οὐ γὰρ μὰ τὴν Δήμητρά γʼ ἐνταυθοῖ μενῶ §226τεμνόμενος. §226bοὔκουν καταγέλαστος δῆτʼ ἔσει §227τὴν ἡμίκραιραν τὴν ἑτέραν ψιλὴν ἔχων; §228ὀλίγον μέλει μοι. §228bμηδαμῶς πρὸς τῶν θεῶν §229προδῷς με· χώρει δεῦρο. §229bκακοδαίμων ἐγώ. §230ἔχʼ ἀτρέμα σαυτὸν κἀνάκυπτε· ποῖ στρέφει; §231μυμῦ. §231bτί μύξεις;
Ouch!" Euripides: "You there, where are you running?" Mnesilochus: "To the temple of the revered goddesses;" "for, by Demeter, I will not stay here" "being cut." Euripides: "Won't you then indeed be ridiculous," "having half your head shaved clean?" Mnesilochus: "I care little." Euripides: "By no means, by the gods," "betray me; come here." Mnesilochus: "How wretched I am!" Euripides: "Keep still and look up; where are you turning?" Mnesilochus: "Mumu!" Euripides: "Why do you whimper?
πάντα πεποίηται καλῶς. §232οἴμοι κακοδαίμων, ψιλὸς αὖ στρατεύσομαι. §233μὴ φροντίσῃ· ὡς εὐπρεπὴς φανεῖ πάνυ. §234βούλει θεᾶσθαι σαυτόν; §234bεἰ δοκεῖ, φέρε. §235ὁρᾷς σεαυτόν; §235bοὐ μὰ Δίʼ ἀλλὰ Κλεισθένη. §236ἀνίστασʼ, ἵνʼ ἀφεύσω σε, κἀγκύψας ἔχε. §237οἴμοι κακοδαίμων δελφάκιον γενήσομαι. §238ἐνεγκάτω τις ἔνδοθεν δᾷδʼ ἢ λύχνον. §239ἐπίκυπτε· τὴν κέρκον φυλάττου νυν ἄκραν. §240ἐμοὶ μελήσει νὴ Δία, πλήν γʼ ὅτι κάομαι.
Everything is done beautifully." Mnesilochus: "Alas, wretched me, I shall serve in the army all bare." Euripides: "Do not worry; for you will appear very comely." "Do you want to see yourself?" Mnesilochus: "If it seems good, bring it." Euripides: "Do you see yourself?" Mnesilochus: "By Zeus, no, but Cleisthenes!" Euripides: "Stand up, so that I may singe you, and keep bent over." Mnesilochus: "Alas, wretched me, I shall become a little suckling pig." Euripides: "Let someone bring a torch or a lamp from inside." "Bend down; guard the tip of your tail now." Mnesilochus: "It will be my care, by Zeus, except that I am burning!" "Alas, wretched me!