§746ὦ κακόδαιμον τί τὸ δέρμʼ ἔπαθες;
O wretched man, what happened to your hide?
μῶν ὑστριχὶς εἰσέβαλέν σοι §747ἐς τὰς πλευρὰς πολλῇ στρατιᾷ κἀδενδροτόμησε τὸ νῶτον;
Has a whip indeed fallen upon your flanks with a great army and deforested your back?
§748τοιαῦτʼ ἀφελὼν κακὰ καὶ φόρτον καὶ βωμολοχεύματʼ ἀγεννῆ §749ἐποίησε τέχνην μεγάλην ἡμῖν κἀπύργωσʼ οἰκοδομήσας §750ἔπεσιν μεγάλοις καὶ διανοίαις καὶ σκώμμασιν οὐκ ἀγοραίοις, §751οὐκ ἰδιώτας ἀνθρωπίσκους κωμῳδῶν οὐδὲ γυναῖκας, §752ἀλλʼ Ἡρακλέους ὀργήν τινʼ ἔχων τοῖσι μεγίστοις ἐπεχείρει, §753διαβὰς βυρσῶν ὀσμὰς δεινὰς κἀπειλὰς βορβοροθύμους, §754καὶ πρῶτον μὲν μάχομαι πάντων αὐτῷ τῷ καρχαρόδοντι, §755οὗ δεινόταται μὲν ἀπʼ ὀφθαλμῶν Κύννης ἀκτῖνες ἔλαμπον, §756ἑκατὸν δὲ κύκλῳ κεφαλαὶ κολάκων οἰμωξομένων ἐλιχμῶντο §757περὶ τὴν κεφαλήν, φωνὴν δʼ εἶχεν χαράδρας ὄλεθρον τετοκυίας, §758φώκης δʼ ὀσμήν, Λαμίας ὄρχεις ἀπλύτους, πρωκτὸν δὲ καμήλου.
Having removed such evils, rubbish, and vulgar buffooneries, he built up a great art for us, raising a tower with grand words, thoughts, and non-vulgar jokes, not lampooning ordinary little men or women, but with a certain Heracles-like wrath, he attacked the greatest things, wading through dread smells of hides and mud-spirited threats; and first of all, I fought with the jagged-toothed monster himself, from whose eyes shone the most terrible rays of Cynna, and around its head a hundred heads of flatterers-destined-to-wail licked in a circle, and it had a voice like a torrent that has spawned destruction, and the smell of a seal, the unwashed testicles of Lamia, and the anus of a camel.
§759τοιοῦτον ἰδὼν τέρας οὐ κατέδεισʼ, ἀλλʼ ὑπὲρ ὑμῶν πολεμίζων §760ἀντεῖχον ἀεὶ καὶ τῶν ἄλλων νήσων.
Seeing such a monster I did not fear, but fighting on your behalf I always held out, and for the other islands too.
ὧν οὕνεκα νυνὶ §761ἀποδοῦναί μοι τὴν χάριν ὑμᾶς εἰκὸς καὶ μνήμονας εἶναι.
For which reasons now it is right that you return the favor to me and be mindful of it.
§762καὶ γὰρ πρότερον πράξας κατὰ νοῦν οὐχὶ παλαίστρας περινοστῶν §763παῖδας ἐπείρων, ἀλλʼ ἀράμενος τὴν σκευὴν εὐθὺς ἐχώρουν, §764παῦρʼ ἀνιάσας, πόλλʼ εὐφράνας, πάντα παρασχὼν τὰ δέοντα.
For indeed formerly, having succeeded to my mind, I did not go around the palaestras trying to seduce boys, but packing up my gear I went straight on my way, having vexed but few, having delighted many, and having provided all that was necessary.
§765πρὸς ταῦτα χρεὼν εἶναι μετʼ ἐμοῦ §766καὶ τοὺς ἄνδρας καὶ τοὺς παῖδας· §767καὶ τοῖς φαλακροῖσι παραινοῦμεν §768ξυσπουδάζειν περὶ τῆς νίκης. §769πᾶς γάρ τις ἐρεῖ νικῶντος ἐμοῦ §770κἀπὶ τραπέζῃ καὶ ξυμποσίοις, §771φέρε τῷ φαλακρῷ, δὸς τῷ φαλακρῷ §772τῶν τρωγαλίων, καὶ μἀφαίρει §773γενναιοτάτου τῶν ποιητῶν §773bἀνδρὸς τὸ μέτωπον ἔχοντος
. §775Μοῦσα σὺ μὲν πολέμους ἀπωσαμένη μετʼ ἐμοῦ §776τοῦ φίλου χόρευσον, §777κλείουσα θεῶν τε γάμους ἀνδρῶν τε δαῖτας §780καὶ θαλίας μακάρων· σοὶ γὰρ τάδʼ ἐξ ἀρχῆς μέλει.
Therefore, it is necessary to be with me, both the men and the boys; and we advise the bald to strive together for victory. For everyone will say, when I win, both at table and at banquets: 'Bring to the bald man, give to the bald man some of the sweetmeats, and do not take away from the most noble of poets, the man who has that forehead.' O Muse, thrusting away wars, with me, your friend, dance, celebrating the marriages of gods and banquets of men and the festivities of the blessed; for these have been your care from the beginning.
§781ἢν δέ σε Καρκίνος ἐλθὼν §782ἀντιβολῇ μετὰ τῶν παίδων χορεῦσαι, §785μήθʼ ὑπάκουε μήτʼ ἔλθῃς §786συνέριθος αὐτοῖς, §787ἀλλὰ νόμιζε πάντας §788ὄρτυγας οἰκογενεῖς γυλιαύχενας ὀρχηστὰς §790ναννοφυεῖς σφυράδων ἀποκνίσματα μηχανοδίφας.
But if Carcinus should come and entreat you to dance with his sons, neither listen to him nor go to be a helper to them, but consider them all domestic quails, wry-necked dancers, dwarfish, scrapings of sheep-droppings, seekers of stage-machinery.
For indeed their father said that, contrary to expectation, a marten had strangled his play in the evening.
§797τοιάδε χρὴ Χαρίτων δαμώματα καλλικόμων §798τὸν σοφὸν ποιητὴν §800ὑμνεῖν, ὅταν ἠρινὰ μὲν φωνῇ χελιδὼν §801ἑζομένη κελαδῇ, χορὸν δὲ μὴ ʼχῃ Μόρσιμος §802μηδὲ Μελάνθιος, οὗ δὴ §805πικροτάτην ὄπα γηρύσαντος ἤκουσʼ §806ἡνίκα τῶν τραγῳδῶν §807τὸν χορὸν εἶχον ἁδελφός §808τε και αὐτός, ἄμφω §810Γοργόνες ὀψοφάγοι βατιδοσκόποι Ἅρπυιαι, §811γραοσόβαι μιαροὶ τραγομάσχαλοι ἰχθυολῦμαι· §815ὧν καταχρεμψαμένη μέγα καὶ πλατὺ §816Μοῦσα θεὰ μετʼ ἐμοῦ ξύμπαιζε τὴν ἑορτήν.
Such songs of the beautiful-haired Graces the wise poet ought to sing, when in spring the swallow perched sings aloud, and Morsimus has no chorus nor Melanthius, whose indeed most bitter voice I heard singing, when of the tragic poets his brother and he himself had the chorus, both of them, fish-devouring Gorgons, ray-spying Harpies, scaring old women, defiled, goat-smelling, fish-destroyers; spitting upon them greatly and broadly, O divine Muse, play with me in the feast.
§819ὡς χαλεπὸν ἐλθεῖν ἦν ἄρʼ εὐθὺ τῶν θεῶν.
How difficult indeed it was to go straight to the gods!
§820ἔγωγέ τοι πεπόνηκα κομιδῇ τὼ σκέλει.
Indeed, my two legs are completely exhausted.
§821μικροὶ δʼ ὁρᾶν ἄνωθεν ἦστʼ.
You were small to look at from above.
To me indeed from heaven you appeared very ill-disposed, but from here, much more ill-disposed still.
§824ὦ δέσποθʼ ἥκεις;
O master, have you come back?
§824bὡς ἐγὼ ʼπυθόμην τινός.
As I heard from someone.
§825τί δʼ ἔπαθες;
What happened to you?
My two legs were aching, having traversed a long road. Having traversed a long road.
did you see any other man in the air wandering, except yourself?
No, unless perhaps two or three souls of dithyrambic teachers.
§830τί δʼ ἔδρων;
What were they doing?
Flying about, they were collecting preludes, some of those floating-in-the-misty-air sort of things.
Was it not then even as they say, that in the air we become stars, when someone dies?
§834μάλιστα.
Absolutely.
§834bκαὶ τίς ἐστιν ἀστὴρ νῦν ἐκεῖ;
And who is a star there now?
§835Ἴων ὁ Χῖος, ὅσπερ ἐποίησεν πάλαι §836ἐνθάδε τὸν ἀοῖόν ποθʼ· ὡς δʼ ἦλθʼ, εὐθέως §837ἀοῖον αὐτὸν πάντες ἐκάλουν ἀστέρα.
Ion of Chios, who long ago composed here the 'Morning Song' once; and when he came, immediately everyone called him the 'Morning Star'.
For who are those running stars that run while burning?
§839bἀπὸ δείπνου τινὲς §840τῶν πλουσίων οὗτοι βαδίζουσʼ ἀστέρων, §841ἰπνοὺς ἔχοντες, ἐν δὲ τοῖς ἰπνοῖσι πῦρ.
Some of the wealthy stars are walking back from dinner, carrying lanterns, and in the lanterns, fire.
§842ἀλλʼ εἴσαγʼ ὡς τάχιστα ταυτηνὶ λαβών, §843καὶ τὴν πύελον κατάκλυζε καὶ θέρμαινʼ ὕδωρ, §844στόρνυ τʼ ἐμοὶ καὶ τῇδε κουρίδιον λέχος.
But take this woman and lead her in as quickly as possible, and wash the tub and heat the water, and spread for me and her the bridal bed.
§845καὶ ταῦτα δράσας ἧκε δεῦρʼ αὖθις πάλιν·
And having done this, come back here again;