§720βόσκειν ἐθέλων καὶ μὴ τούτους §721ἐγχάσκειν σοι στομφάζοντας. §722καὶ νῦν ἀτεχνῶς ἐθέλω παρέχειν §723ὅ τι βούλει σοι, §724πλὴν κωλακρέτου γάλα πίνειν. §725ἦ που σοφὸς ἦν ὅστις ἔφασκεν, πρὶν ἂν ἀμφοῖν μῦθον ἀκούσῃς, §726οὐκ ἂν δικάσαις. σὺ γὰρ οὖν νῦν μοι νικᾶν πολλῷ δεδόκησαι· §727ὥστʼ ἤδη τὴν ὀργὴν χαλάσας τοὺς σκίπωνας καταβάλλω. §728ἀλλʼ ὦ τῆς ἡλικίας ἡμῖν τῆς αὐτῆς συνθιασῶτα, §729πιθοῦ πιθοῦ λόγοισι, μηδʼ ἄφρων γένῃ §730μηδʼ ἀτενὴς ἄγαν ἀτεράμων τʼ ἀνήρ. §731εἴθʼ ὤφελέν μοι κηδεμὼν ἢ ξυγγενὴς §732εἶναί τις ὅστις τοιαῦτʼ ἐνουθέτει. §733σοὶ δὲ νῦν τις θεῶν παρὼν ἐμφανὴς §734ξυλλαμβάνει τοῦ πράγματος, §735καὶ δῆλός ἐστιν εὖ ποιῶν· §736σὺ δὲ παρὼν δέχου. §737καὶ μὴν θρέψω γʼ αὐτὸν παρέχων §738ὅσα πρεσβύτῃ ξύμφορα, χόνδρον §739λείχειν, χλαῖναν μαλακήν, σισύραν, §740πόρνην, ἥτις τὸ πέος τρίψει §740aκαὶ τὴν ὀσφῦν. §741ἀλλʼ ὅτι σιγᾷ κοὐδὲν γρύζει, §742τοῦτʼ οὐ δύναταί με προσέσθαι. §743νενουθέτηκεν αὑτὸν ἐς τὰ πράγμαθʼ, οἶς §744τότʼ ἐπεμαίνετʼ· ἔγνωκε γὰρ ἀρτίως, §745λογίζεταί τʼ ἐκεῖνα πάνθʼ ἁμαρτίας §746ἃ σοῦ κελεύοντος οὐκ ἐπείθετο. §747νῦν δʼ ἴσως τοῖσι σοῖς λόγοις πείθεται §748καὶ σωφρονεῖ μέντοι μεθιστὰς §748aἐς τὸ λοιπὸν τὸν τρόπον §749πιθόμενός τέ σοι. §750ἰώ μοί μοι. §750bοὗτος τί βοᾷς; §751μή μοι τούτων μηδὲν ὑπισχνοῦ. §752κείνων ἔραμαι, κεῖθι γενοίμαν, §753ἵνʼ ὁ κῆρύξ φησι, ʼτίς ἀψήφιστος;
because I wanted to feed you, and not let these people gape and shout bombastically at you. And now I simply want to provide for you whatever you wish, except to drink the milk of a Kolakretes. Surely he was wise, whoever said: "Before you have heard the words of both sides, you should not judge." For you now seem to me to have won by far. So, already softening my anger, I throw down my staffs. But, o age-mate of ours, fellow member of our band, obey, obey his words, and do not be foolish, nor too stubborn and unyielding a man. Would that some guardian or relative of mine had been there to give me such advice! But to you some god is now present manifest helping you in this matter, and clearly doing you good. Accept this, being present yourself. And indeed I will feed him, providing whatever is suitable for an old man: gruel to lick, a soft cloak, a thick blanket, a girl to rub his penis and his loins. But because he is silent and mumbles nothing, this, I cannot accept. He has advised himself concerning the things for which he was mad then; for he has just now realized, and reckons all those things as errors which he did not obey when you ordered. But now perhaps he obeys your words and is indeed sensible, changing his ways for the future and obeying you. Oh, alas for me! You there, why are you crying out? Do not promise me any of these things. I love those things, I wish I were there, where the herald says: "Who has not voted?
Let him stand up." And I would like to stand at the voting-urns as the last of those voting. Hasten, my soul!
ποῦ μοι ψυχή; §757πάρες ὦ σκιερά.
Where is my soul? Let me pass, dark shadow!
μὰ τὸν Ἡρακλέα §758μή νυν ἔτʼ ἐγὼ ʼν τοῖσι δικασταῖς §759κλέπτοντα Κλέωνα λάβοιμι. §760ἴθʼ ὦ πάτερ πρὸς τῶν θεῶν ἐμοὶ πιθοῦ.
By Heracles, may I not yet, among the judges, catch Cleon stealing. Go, father, by the gods, obey me. What should I obey you in?
Say what you want, except one thing. Which one?
φέρʼ ἴδω. §762bτοῦ μὴ δικάζειν.
Let me see. Not to judge.
τοῦτο δὲ §763Ἅιδης διακρινεῖ πρότερον ἢ ʼγὼ πείσομαι. §764σὺ δʼ οὖν, ἐπειδὴ τοῦτο κεχάρηκας ποιῶν, §765ἐκεῖσε μὲν μηκέτι βάδιζʼ, ἀλλʼ ἐνθάδε §766αὐτοῦ μένων δίκαζε τοῖσιν οἰκέταις. §767περὶ τοῦ;
This, Hades shall decide before I obey. You, then, since you enjoy doing this, do not walk there anymore, but here remaining in this place, judge your domestic servants. About what?
τί ληρεῖς; §767bταὔθʼ ἅπερ ἐκεῖ πράττεται· §768ὅτι τὴν θύραν ἀνέῳξεν ἡ σηκὶς λάθρᾳ, §769ταύτης ἐπιβολὴν ψηφιεῖ μίαν μόνην. §770πάντως δὲ κἀκεῖ ταῦτʼ ἔδρας ἑκάστοτε. §771καὶ ταῦτα μέν νυν εὐλόγως, ἢν ἐξέχῃ §772ἕλη κατʼ ὄρθρον, ἡλιάσει πρὸς ἥλιον· §773ἐὰν δὲ νείφῃ, πρὸς τὸ πῦρ καθήμενος· §774ὕοντος εἴσει· κἄν ἔγρῃ μεσημβρινός, §775οὐδείς σʼ ἀποκλῄσει θεσμοθέτης τῇ κιγκλίδι. §776τουτί μʼ ἀρέσκει. §776bπρὸς δὲ τούτοις γʼ, ἢν δίκην §777λέγῃ μακράν τις, οὐχὶ πεινῶν ἀναμενεῖς §778δάκνων σεαυτὸν καὶ τὸν ἀπολογούμενον. §779πῶς οὖν διαγιγνώσκειν καλῶς δυνήσομαι §780ὥσπερ πρότερον τὰ πράγματʼ ἔτι μασώμενος; §781πολλῷ γʼ ἄμεινον· καὶ λέγεται γὰρ τουτογί, §782ὡς οἱ δικασταὶ ψευδομένων τῶν μαρτύρων §783μόλις τὸ πρᾶγμʼ ἔγνωσαν ἀναμασώμενοι.
What nonsense is this? The same things that are done there: because the maidservant opened the door secretly, you will vote against her a fine of one obol only. In any case, you used to do these things there each time. And this, indeed, reasonably: if the sun shines in the morning, you will hold court in the sun; but if it snows, sitting by the fire; if it rains, you will go inside; and if you wake up at noon, no thesmothete will bar you with the gate. This pleases me. And besides, if someone pleads a long case, you will not wait starving, biting yourself and the defendant. How then will I be able to decide the cases well as before, chewing things over? Much better; for even this is said: how the judges, when witnesses lied, barely recognized the truth by chewing over the case. You are persuading me.
§784ἀνά τό με πείθεις. ἀλλʼ ἐκεῖνʼ οὔπω λέγεις, §785τὸν μισθὸν ὁπόθεν λήψομαι. §785bπαρʼ ἐμοῦ. §785cκαλῶς, §786ὁτιὴ κατʼ ἐμαυτὸν κοὐ μεθʼ ἑτέρου λήψομαι. §787αἴσχιστα γάρ τοί μʼ ἠργάσατο Λυσίστρατος §788ὁ σκωπτόλης. δραχμὴν μετʼ ἐμοῦ πρώην λαβὼν §789ἐλθὼν διεκερματίζετʼ ἐν τοῖς ἰχθύσιν, §790κἄπειτʼ ἐνέθηκε τρεῖς λοπίδας μοι κεστρέων· §791κἀγὼ ʼνέκαψʼ· ὀβολοὺς γὰρ ᾠόμην λαβεῖν· §792κᾆτα βδελυχθεὶς ὀσφρόμενος ἐξέπτυσα· §793κᾆθʼ εἷλκον αὐτόν. §793bὁ δὲ τί πρὸς ταῦτʼ εἶφʼ; §793cὅ τι; §794ἀλεκτρυόνος μʼ ἔφασκε κοιλίαν ἔχειν· §795ταχὺ γοῦν καθέψεις τἀργύριον,
ἦ δʼ ὃς λέγων. §796ὁρᾷς ὅσον καὶ τοῦτο δῆτα κερδανεῖς. §797οὐ πάνυ τι μικρόν.
But you do not yet say this: where I will get my pay from. From me. Fine, because I will receive it on my own, and not with another. For Lysistratus, the jester, treated me most shamefully. Having received a drachma with me the other day, he went to change it in the fish market, and then he put three scales of mullet into my mouth. And I swallowed them, thinking I had received obols. And then, disgusted by the smell, I spat them out, and I was dragging him. And what did he say to this? What? He said I had the stomach of a rooster: "You will soon digest the silver," he said. Do you see how much you will gain even in this? Not small at all.
ἀλλʼ ὅπερ μέλλεις ποίει. §798ἀνάμενέ νυν· ἐγὼ δὲ ταῦθʼ ἥξω φέρων. §799ὅρα τὸ χρῆμα, τὰ λόγιʼ ὡς περαίνεται. §800ἠκηκόη γὰρ ὡς Ἀθηναῖοί ποτε
But do what you intend to do. Wait then; I will come bringing these things. See how the matter and the prophecies are fulfilled! For I had heard that the Athenians once...