§1113πάντα γὰρ κεντοῦμεν ἄνδρα κἀκπορίζομεν βίον.
For we sting every man and procure our livelihood.
§1114ἀλλὰ γὰρ κηφῆνες ἡμῖν εἰσιν ἐγκαθήμενοι §1115οὐκ ἔχοντες κέντρον, οἳ μένοντες ἡμῶν τοῦ φόρου §1116τὸν πόνον κατεσθίουσιν, οὐ ταλαιπωρούμενοι.
But indeed there are drones sitting among us, who, having no sting, remain and devour the fruit of our tribute's toil, without themselves undergoing hardship.
§1117τοῦτο δʼ ἔστʼ ἄλγιστον ἡμῖν, ἤν τις ἀστράτευτος ὢν §1118ἐκροφῇ τὸν μισθὸν ἡμῶν, τῆσδε τῆς χώρας ὕπερ §1119μήτε κώπην μήτε λόγχην μήτε φλύκταιναν λαβών.
And this is most painful to us, if anyone, being draft-exempt, drinks up our pay, having taken up neither oar, nor spear, nor blister on his hand on behalf of this land.
§1120ἀλλʼ ἐμοὶ δοκεῖ τὸ λοιπὸν τῶν πολιτῶν ἔμβραχυ §1121ὅστις ἂν μὴ ʼχῃ τὸ κέντρον, μὴ φέρειν τριώβολον.
But it seems to me, to put it briefly, that for the future of the citizens, whoever does not have the sting should not receive the three-obol pay.
§1122οὔτοι ποτὲ ζῶν τοῦτον ἀποδυθήσομαι, §1123ἐπεὶ μόνος μʼ ἔσωσε παρατεταγμένον, §1124ὅθʼ ὁ βορέας ὁ μέγας ἐπεστρατεύσατο.
Philocleon: By no means while I live will I be stripped of this cloak, since it alone saved me when drawn up in battle, when the great North Wind made its campaign.
§1125ἀγαθὸν ἔοικας οὐδὲν ἐπιθυμεῖν παθεῖν.
Bdelycleon: You seem to have no desire to experience any good thing.
§1126μὰ τὸν Δίʼ οὐ γὰρ οὐδαμῶς μοι ξύμφορον.
Philocleon: By Zeus, no indeed, for it is in no way advantageous to me.
For previously, having stuffed myself with small coal-fish, I had to pay three obols that I owed to the fuller.
Bdelycleon: Well, at any rate let it be tried, since once you have handed yourself over to me to treat you well.
§1131τί οὖν κελεύεις δρᾶν με;
Philocleon: What then do you command me to do?
Bdelycleon: Take off that old worn cloak, and put on this fine cloak in a stylish way.
Philocleon: Is it then necessary to beget and rear children, when this one here now wants to choke me?
§1135ἔχʼ ἀναβαλοῦ τηνδὶ λαβὼν καὶ μὴ λάλει.
Bdelycleon: Hold, take this and put it on, and do not chatter.
§1136τουτὶ τὸ κακὸν τί ἐστι πρὸς πάντων θεῶν;
Philocleon: By all the gods, what on earth is this plague?
§1137οἱ μὲν καλοῦσι Περσίδʼ οἱ δὲ καυνάκην.
Bdelycleon: Some call it a Persian robe, others a kaunakes.
§1138ἐγὼ δὲ σισύραν ᾠόμην Θυμαιτίδα.
Philocleon: But I thought it was a woollen blanket from Thymaetia.
§1139κοὐ θαῦμά γʼ· ἐς Σάρδεις γὰρ οὐκ ἐλήλυθας.
Bdelycleon: No wonder, for you have not been to Sardis.
§1140ἔγνως γὰρ ἄν· νῦν δʼ οὐχὶ γιγνώσκεις.
If you had, you would know it; but now you do not.
§1140bἐγώ;
Philocleon: Me?
§1141μὰ τὸν Δίʼ οὐ τοίνυν·
By Zeus, no indeed.
ἀτὰρ δοκεῖ γέ μοι §1142ἐοικέναι μάλιστα Μορύχου σάγματι.
Yet it seems to me to look most of all like Morychus' hairy cover.
§1143οὔκ, ἀλλʼ ἐν Ἐκβατάνοισι ταῦθʼ ὑφαίνεται.
Bdelycleon: No, but these are woven in Ecbatana.
§1144ἐν Ἐκβατάνοισι γίγνεται κρόκης χόλιξ;
Philocleon: Are wefts of tripe produced in Ecbatana?
§1145πόθεν ὦγάθʼ;
Bdelycleon: How so, my good sir?
ἀλλὰ τοῦτο τοῖσι βαρβάροις §1146ὑφαίνεται πολλαῖς δαπάναις.
Rather, this is woven for the barbarians at great expense.
αὕτη γέ τοι §1147ἐρίων τάλαντον καταπέπωκε ῥᾳδίως.
This one, indeed, has easily swallowed down a talent of wool.
Philocleon: Should it not then be called a wool-snatcher rather than kaunakes?
Bdelycleon: Hold, my good sir, and stand still, putting it on.
§1150bοἴμοι δείλαιος·
Philocleon: Oh, wretched me!
§1151ὡς θερμὸν ἡ μιαρά τί μου κατήρυγεν.
How hot a belch this filthy thing has belched on me!
§1152οὐκ ἀναβαλεῖ;
Bdelycleon: Won't you put it on?
§1152bμὰ Δίʼ οὐκ ἔγωγʼ.
Philocleon: By Zeus, not I!
ἀλλʼ ὦγαθέ, §1153εἴπερ γʼ ἀνάγκη, κρίβανόν μʼ ἀμπίσχετε.
But, my good sir, if it's absolutely necessary, wrap me in an oven instead.
§1154φέρʼ ἀλλʼ ἐγώ σε περιβαλῶ·
Bdelycleon: Come, then, I'll wrap you in it myself.
σὺ δʼ οὖν ἴθι.
You just go on.
§1155παράθου γε μέντοι καὶ κρεάγραν.
Philocleon: Put a meat-hook beside me too, though.
§1155bτιὴ τί δή;
Bdelycleon: Why on earth?
§1156ἵνʼ ἐξέλῃς με πρὶν διερρυηκέναι.
Philocleon: So that you can fish me out before I'm melted away.
Bdelycleon: Come now, take off those cursed shoes, and quickly slip into these Laconian shoes.
Philocleon: For would I ever dare to put on hostile soles from enemy men?
Bdelycleon: Put your foot in, my good friend, and step out vigorously into the Laconian shoe quickly.
Philocleon: You are treating me unjustly, forcing my foot onto hostile ground.
§1164φέρε καὶ τὸν ἕτερον.
Bdelycleon: Come, the other one too.
Philocleon: By no means this one, since one of its toes is an absolute Spartan-hater.
§1166οὐκ ἔστι παρὰ ταῦτʼ ἄλλα.
Bdelycleon: There is no other way than this.
§1166bκακοδαίμων ἐγώ,
Philocleon: Unlucky me!
§1167ὅστις ἐπὶ γήρως χίμετλον οὐδὲν λήψομαι.
who in old age will get not a single chilblain.
Bdelycleon: Hurry up and put them on; then like a rich man walk forward thus, and strut with a luxurious swagger.
§1170ἰδού.
Philocleon: There!
θεῶ τὸ σχῆμα, καὶ σκέψαι μʼ ὅτῳ §1171μάλιστʼ ἔοικα τὴν βάδισιν τῶν πλουσίων.
Look at my posture, and see to whom among the rich I look most similar in my gait.
§1172ὅτῳ;
Bdelycleon: To whom?
Δοθιῆνι σκόροδον ἠμφιεσμένῳ.
To a boil wrapped in garlic-plaster.
§1173καὶ μὴν προθυμοῦμαί γε σαυλοπρωκτιᾶν.
Philocleon: Indeed, I am very eager to swagger and swing my hips.
Bdelycleon: Come now, will you know how to speak solemn words in the presence of highly learned and clever men?
§1176ἔγωγε.
Philocleon: Yes, I will.
§1176bτίνα δῆτʼ ἂν λέγοις;
Bdelycleon: What would you say then?
§1176cπολλοὺς πάνυ.
Philocleon: Very many.
First, how Lamia when she was captured farted, and next, how Cardopion beat his mother.
Bdelycleon: No myths for me, but of human affairs, such as we usually speak of domestic ones.
§1181ἐγᾦδα τοίνυν τῶν γε πάνυ κατʼ οἰκίαν §1182ἐκεῖνον ὡς
οὕτω ποτʼ ἦν μῦς καὶ γαλῆ. §1183ὦ σκαιὲ κἀπαίδευτε, Θεογένης ἔφη §1184τῷ κοπρολόγῳ καὶ ταῦτα λοιδορούμενος, §1185μῦς καὶ γαλᾶς μέλλεις λέγειν ἐν ἀνδράσιν; §1186ποίους τινὰς δὲ χρὴ λέγειν;
Philocleon: Well, I know one of the very domestic ones, that one: "Once upon a time there was a mouse and a cat..." Bdelycleon: O clumsy and uneducated man! as Theogenes said to the dung-collector when abusing him, "Are you going to talk about mice and cats among real men?" Philocleon: Then what kind of stories must I tell?
Bdelycleon: Grand ones, like how you went on a sacred embassy with Androcles and Cleisthenes.