§164τὸν πρωκτὸν ἠχεῖν ὑπὸ βίας τοῦ πνεύματος. §165σάλπιγξ ὁ πρωκτός ἐστιν ἄρα τῶν ἐμπίδων. §166ὦ τρισμακάριος τοῦ διεντερεύματος. §167ἦ ῥᾳδίως φεύγων ἂν ἀποφύγοι δίκην §168ὅστις δίοιδε τοὔντερον τῆς ἐμπίδος. §169πρώην δέ γε γνώμην μεγάλην ἀφῃρέθη §170ὑπʼ ἀσκαλαβώτου.
and that its rump resounds by the force of the breath. So the rump of gnats is a trumpet after all! O thrice-blessed for this intestine-exploration! Surely one who knows the intestine of a gnat would easily escape a lawsuit. But just recently he was deprived of a great idea by a gecko. In what way?
§170bτίνα τρόπον; κάτειπέ μοι. §171ζητοῦντος αὐτοῦ τῆς σελήνης τὰς ὁδοὺς §172καὶ τὰς περιφορὰς εἶτʼ ἄνω κεχηνότος §173ἀπὸ τῆς ὀροφῆς νύκτωρ γαλεώτης κατέχεσεν. §174ἥσθην γαλεώτῃ καταχέσαντι Σωκράτους. §175ἐχθὲς δέ γʼ ἡμῖν δεῖπνον οὐκ ἦν ἑσπέρας. §176εἶεν· τί οὖν πρὸς τἄλφιτʼ ἐπαλαμήσατο; §177κατὰ τῆς τραπέζης καταπάσας λεπτὴν τέφραν §178κάμψας ὀβελίσκον εἶτα διαβήτην λαβὼν §179ἐκ τῆς παλαίστρας θοἰμάτιον ὑφείλετο. §180τί δῆτʼ ἐκεῖνον τὸν Θαλῆν θαυμάζομεν; §181ἄνοιγʼ ἄνοιγʼ ἀνύσας τὸ φροντιστήριον, §182καὶ δεῖξον ὡς τάχιστά μοι τὸν Σωκράτη. §183μαθητιῶ γάρ· ἀλλʼ ἄνοιγε τὴν θύραν. §184ὦ Ἡράκλεις ταυτὶ ποδαπὰ τὰ θηρία;
Tell me. While he was investigating the paths of the moon and its revolutions, and then was gaping upwards, in the night a gecko defecated on him from the ceiling. I am delighted by the gecko that defecated on Socrates! And yet, yesterday evening we had no dinner. Well then; what device did he contrive for some barley-meal? Having sprinkled fine ash over the table, and bent a roasting-spit, then taking a pair of compasses— he filched a cloak from the palaestra. Why indeed do we marvel at that Thales? Open, open the Thinkery quickly, and show me Socrates as fast as possible. For I long to be a disciple; open the door. O Heracles, what kind of beasts are these? What are you amazed at?
§185τί ἐθαύμασας; τῷ σοι δοκοῦσιν εἰκέναι; §186τοῖς ἐκ Πύλου ληφθεῖσι τοῖς Λακωνικοῖς. §187ἀτὰρ τί ποτʼ ἐς τὴν γῆν βλέπουσιν οὑτοιί; §188ζητοῦσιν οὗτοι τὰ κατὰ γῆς. §188bβολβοὺς ἄρα §189ζητοῦσι.
What do they seem to you to resemble? Those Lacones captured at Pylos. But why on earth are these looking toward the ground? These are searching for things under the earth. Then they are searching for bulbs.
μή νυν τουτογὶ φροντίζετε· §190ἐγὼ γὰρ οἶδʼ ἵνʼ εἰσὶ μεγάλοι καὶ καλοί. §191τί γὰρ οἵδε δρῶσιν οἱ σφόδρʼ ἐγκεκυφότες; §192οὗτοι δʼ ἐρεβοδιφῶσιν ὑπὸ τὸν Τάρταρον. §193τί δῆθʼ ὁ πρωκτὸς ἐς τὸν οὐρανὸν βλέπει; §194αὐτὸς καθʼ αὑτὸν ἀστρονομεῖν διδάσκεται. §195ἀλλʼ εἴσιθʼ, ἵνα μὴ ʼκεῖνος ὑμῖν ἐπιτύχῃ. §196μήπω γε μήπω γʼ·
Do not worry about this then; for I know where there are big and fine ones. Then what are these doing, who are bent down so low? These are searching through Erebos under Tartarus. Why indeed does the rump look toward the heaven? It is learning astronomy all by itself. But go inside, so that he may not light upon you. Not yet, not yet!
ἀλλʼ ἐπιμεινάντων, ἵνα §197αὐτοῖσι κοινώσω τι πραγμάτιον ἐμόν. §198ἀλλʼ οὐχ οἷόν τʼ αὐτοῖσι πρὸς τὸν ἀέρα §199ἔξω διατρίβειν πολὺν ἄγαν ἐστὶν χρόνον. §200πρὸς τῶν θεῶν τί γὰρ τάδʼ ἐστίν;
But let them remain, so that I may share a little business of my own with them. But it is not possible for them to spend too much time outside in the open air. By the gods, what indeed is this?
εἰπέ μοι. §201ἀστρονομία μὲν αὑτηί. §201bτουτὶ δὲ τί; §202γεωμετρία. §202bτοῦτʼ οὖν τί ἐστι χρήσιμον; §203γῆν ἀναμετρῆσαι. §203bπότερα τὴν κληρουχικήν; §204οὔκ, ἀλλὰ τὴν σύμπασαν. §204bἀστεῖον λέγεις. §205τὸ γὰρ σόφισμα δημοτικὸν καὶ χρήσιμον. §206αὕτη δέ σοι γῆς περίοδος πάσης.
Tell me. This is astronomy. And what is this? Geometry. What then is this useful for? To measure the earth. Whether the land-allotment? No, but the whole of it. You speak of a clever thing. For the invention is popular and useful. And here is a map of the whole earth for you.
οὐ πείθομαι, §208ἐπεὶ δικαστὰς οὐχ ὁρῶ καθημένους. §209ὡς τοῦτʼ ἀληθῶς Ἀττικὸν τὸ χωρίον. §210καὶ ποῦ Κικυννῆς εἰσὶν οὑμοὶ δημόται; §211ἐνταῦθʼ ἔνεισιν.
I don't believe you, since I don't see judges sitting. In truth, this place is Attica. And where are my fellow-demesmen of Cicynna? They are in here.
ἡ δέ γʼ Εὔβοἰ, ὡς ὁρᾷς, §212ἡδὶ παρατέταται μακρὰ πόρρω πάνυ. §213οἶδʼ· ὑπὸ γὰρ ἡμῶν παρετάθη καὶ Περικλέους. §214ἀλλʼ ἡ Λακεδαίμων ποῦ ʼσθʼ; §214bὅπου ʼστίν;
And Euboea, as you see, is stretched out here, very long and far. I know; for it was stretched out (racked) by us and Pericles. But where is Lacedaemon? Where is it?
αὑτηί. §215ὡς ἐγγὺς ἡμῶν.
Right here. How close to us!
τοῦτο πάνυ φροντίζετε, §216ταύτην ἀφʼ ἡμῶν ἀπαγαγεῖν πόρρω πάνυ. §217ἀλλʼ οὐχ οἷόν τε. §217bνὴ Δίʼ οἰμώξεσθʼ ἄρα. §218φέρε τίς γὰρ οὗτος οὑπὶ τῆς κρεμάθρας ἀνήρ; §219αὐτός. §219bτίς αὐτός; §219cΣωκράτης. §219dὦ Σώκρατες. §220ἴθʼ οὗτος, ἀναβόησον αὐτόν μοι μέγα. §220aαὐτὸς μὲν οὖν σὺ κάλεσον· οὐ γάρ μοι σχολή. §221ὦ Σώκρατες, §222ὦ Σωκρατίδιον. §223τί με καλεῖς ὦφήμερε; §224πρῶτον μὲν ὅ τι δρᾷς ἀντιβολῶ κάτειπέ μοι. §225ἀεροβατῶ καὶ περιφρονῶ τὸν ἥλιον. §226ἔπειτʼ ἀπὸ ταρροῦ τοὺς θεοὺς ὑπερφρονεῖς, §227ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀπὸ τῆς γῆς, εἴπερ; §227bοὐ γὰρ ἄν ποτε §228ἐξηῦρον ὀρθῶς τὰ μετέωρα πράγματα, §229εἰ μὴ κρεμάσας τὸ νόημα καὶ τὴν φροντίδα §230λεπτὴν καταμείξας ἐς τὸν ὅμοιον ἀέρα. §231εἰ δʼ ὢν χαμαὶ τἄνω κάτωθεν ἐσκόπουν, §232οὐκ ἄν ποθʼ ηὗρον· οὐ γὰρ ἀλλʼ ἡ γῆ βίᾳ §233ἕλκει πρὸς αὑτὴν τὴν ἰκμάδα τῆς φροντίδος. §234πάσχει δὲ ταὐτὸ τοῦτο καὶ τὰ κάρδαμα. §235τί φῄς; §236ἡ φροντὶς ἕλκει τὴν ἰκμάδʼ ἐς τὰ κάρδαμα; §237ἴθι νυν κατάβηθʼ ὦ Σωκρατίδιον ὡς ἐμέ, §238ἵνα με διδάξῃς ὧνπερ οὕνεκʼ ἐλήλυθα. §239ἦλθες δὲ κατὰ τί; §239bβουλόμενος μαθεῖν λέγειν. §240ὑπὸ γὰρ τόκων χρήστων τε δυσκολωτάτων §241ἄγομαι φέρομαι, τὰ χρήματʼ ἐνεχυράζομαι. §242πόθεν δʼ ὑπόχρεως σαυτὸν ἔλαθες γενόμενος; §243νόσος μʼ ἐπέτριψεν ἱππικὴ δεινὴ φαγεῖν.
Think very hard on this, to move it very far away from us. But it is not possible. By Zeus, you will lament then! Come, who is this man up on the hanging basket? Himself. Who is "Himself"? Socrates. O Socrates! Go, you, call him loud for me. Rather call him yourself; for I have no leisure. O Socrates! O dear little Socrates! Why do you call me, O creature of a day? First of all, I entreat you, tell me what you are doing. I walk on air and look down upon (contemplate) the sun. Then from a basket you look down on the gods, and not from the earth, if indeed? For I could never have correctly discovered celestial matters, if I had not suspended my mind and mixed my subtle thought into the kindred air. And if I, being on the ground, looked at things above from below, I would never have found them; for the earth by force draws to itself the moisture of thought. And this very same thing happens also to watercress. What do you say? Thought draws moisture to watercress? Come down then, O dear little Socrates, to me, so that you may teach me those things for which I have come. And for what have you come? Wishing to learn how to speak. For by interest and most difficult creditors I am plundered and despoiled, and my property is distrained. And how did you become a debtor without knowing it? A horse-disease, terrible to eat away, ruined me.