§18ταῦτα μὲν οὖν καλὰ καὶ συμφέροντα· ἃ δὲ μέλλω λέγειν, ἀνθρώπινα.
These things, then, are honorable and beneficial; but what I am about to say is suited to human nature.
οὐδὲ γὰρ αὖ πάλιν τοὺς πατέρας ἔγωγʼ ἀξιῶ τελέως τραχεῖς καὶ σκληροὺς εἶναι τὴν φύσιν, ἀλλὰ πολλαχοῦ καὶ συγχωρῆσαί τινα τῷ νεωτέρῳ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων, καὶ ἑαυτοὺς ἀναμιμνῄσκειν ὅτι ἐγένοντο νέοι.
For, on the other hand, I do not expect fathers to be altogether harsh and severe in nature, but in many cases even to pardon some of the offenses of the youth, and to remind themselves that they too were once young.
καὶ καθάπερ ἰατροὶ τὰ πικρὰ τῶν φαρμάκων τοῖς γλυκέσι χυμοῖς καταμιγνύντες τὴν τέρψιν ἐπὶ τὸ συμφέρον πάροδον εὗρον, οὓτω δεῖ τοὺς πατέρας τὴν τῶν ἐπιτιμημάτων ἀποτομίαν τῇ πραότητι μιγνύναι, καὶ τοτὲ μὲν ταῖς ἐπιθυμίαις τῶν παίδων ἐφεῖναι καὶ χαλάσαι τὰς ἡνίας, τοτὲ δʼ αὖ πάλιν ἀντιτεῖναι, καὶ μάλιστα μὲν εὐκόλως φέρειν τὰς ἁμαρτίας, εἰ δὲ μή γε, πρὸς καιρὸν ὀργισθέντας ταχέως ἀποφλεγμῆναι.
And just as physicians, by mixing bitter medicines with sweet juices, find in pleasure an avenue to what is beneficial, so must fathers mix the sharpness of rebukes with gentleness, and at one time give way to the desires of their children and slacken the reins, and at another time pull them back, and especially bear their offenses with mildness, or, if they cannot, having been angry for the moment, quickly cool down.
μᾶλλον γὰρ ὀξύθυμον εἶναι δεῖ τὸν πατέρα ἢ βαρύθυμον, ὡς τό γε δυσμενὲς καὶ δυσκατάλλακτον μισοτεκνίας οὐ μικρὸν τεκμήριόν ἐστι.
For it is better for a father to be quick-tempered than deep-tempered, since a hostile and irreconcilable disposition is no small proof of hatred for one's children.
καλὸν δὲ καὶ ἔνια τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων μηδʼ εἰδέναι δοκεῖν, ἀλλὰ τὸ τοῦ γήρως ἀμβλυῶττον καὶ δύσκωφον ἐπὶ τὰ γιγνόμενα μεταφέρειν, ὡς ἔνια τῶν πραττομένων ὁρῶντας μὴ ὁρᾶν καὶ μὴ ἀκούειν ἀκούοντας.
And it is also good to pretend not even to know of some of their offenses, and to transfer the dim-sightedness and hardness of hearing of old age to what is happening, so as, though seeing some of the things done, not to see them, and though hearing, not to hear.
φίλων ἁμαρτήματα φέρομεν· τί θαυμαστὸν εἰ τέκνων;
We bear the offenses of friends; what wonder if we bear those of children?
δούλων πολλάκις κραιπαλώντων μέθην οὐκ ἐξηλέγξαμεν.
We do not always expose the drunkenness of slaves who often suffer from a hangover.
ἐφείσω ποτέ, ἀλλὰ καὶ χορήγησον ἠγανάκτησάς ποτε, ἀλλὰ καὶ σύγγνωθι.
You once spared expense; well, on another occasion even supply the funds. You were once angry; well, on another occasion even forgive.
ἐβουκόλησέ ποτε διʼ οἰκέτου· τὴν ὀργὴν κάτασχε.
He once tricked you through a servant; hold back your anger.
ἐξ ἀγροῦ ποτε ζεῦγος ἀφείλετο, ἦλθέ ποτε χθιζῆς μέθης ἀποπνέων, ἀγνόησον·
He once took a yoke of oxen from the field, or came home reeking of yesterday's debauch; pretend not to know.
μύρων ὄζων, σίγησον.
He smells of perfumes; keep silent.
οὕτω σκιρτῶσα νεότης πωλοδαμνεῖται
In this way, frisky youth is broken in.
§19πειρατέον δὲ τοὺς τῶν ἡδονῶν ἥττους καὶ πρὸς τὰς ἐπιτιμήσεις δυσηκόους γάμῳ καταζεῦξαι, δεσμὸς γὰρ οὗτος τῆς νεότητος ἀσφαλέστατος.
And we must try to yoke in marriage those who are vanquished by pleasures and disobedient to admonitions; for this is the safest bond for youth.
ἐγγυᾶσθαι δὲ δεῖ τοῖς υἱέσι γυναῖκας μήτʼ εὐγενεστέρας πολλῷ μήτε πλουσιωτέρας· τὸ γὰρ
τὴν κατὰ σαυτὸν ἔλα
σοφόν.
And we must betroth to our sons wives who are neither much superior in birth nor much wealthier; for the saying, "Marry one of your own station," is wise.
ὡς οἵ γε μακρῷ κρείττους ἑαυτῶν λαμβάνοντες οὐ τῶν γυναικῶν ἄνδρες, τῶν δὲ προικῶν δοῦλοι λανθάνουσι γιγνόμενοι.
Since those who take wives far superior to themselves unawares become not husbands of their wives, but slaves of their dowries.
§20βραχέα δὲ προσθεὶς ἔτι περιγράψω τὰς ὑποθήκας.
Adding yet a few brief remarks, I shall conclude my instructions.
πρὸ πάντων γὰρ δεῖ τοὺς πατέρας τῷ μηδὲν ἁμαρτάνειν ἀλλὰ πάνθʼ ἃ δεῖ πράττειν ἐναργὲς αὑτοὺς παράδειγμα τοῖς τέκνοις παρέχειν, ἵνα πρὸς τὸν τούτων βίον ὥσπερ κάτοπτρον ἀποβλέποντες ἀποτρέπωνται τῶν αἰσχρῶν ἔργων καὶ λόγων.
For above all, fathers must present themselves as a clear example to their children by committing no error but doing all that they ought, so that looking to their life as if into a mirror, they may turn away from shameful deeds and words.
ὡς οἵτινες τοῖς ἁμαρτάνουσιν υἱοῖς ἐπιτιμῶντες τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἁμαρτήμασι περιπίπτουσιν, ἐπὶ τῷ ἐκείνων ὀνόματι λανθάνουσιν ἑαυτῶν κατήγοροι γιγνόμενοι τὸ δʼ ὅλον φαύλως ζῶντες οὐδὲ τοῖς δούλοις παρρησίαν ἄγουσιν ἐπιτιμᾶν, μὴ τί γε τοῖς υἱοῖς.
Since those who, while rebuking their erring sons, fall into the same errors, under the name of those sons unawares become accusers of themselves; and living altogether basely, they have no freedom of speech to rebuke even their slaves, much less their sons.
χωρὶς δὲ τούτων γένοιντʼ ἂν αὐτοῖς τῶν ἀδικημάτων σύμβουλοι καὶ διδάσκαλοι.
And apart from this, they would become counselors and teachers of misdeeds to them.
ὅπου γὰρ γέροντές εἰσιν ἀναίσχυντοι, ἐνταῦθʼ ἀνάγκη καὶ νέους ἀναιδεστάτους εἶναι.
For where old men are shameless, there youth must of necessity be most impudent.
πειρατέον οὖν εἰς τὸν τῶν τέκνων σωφρονισμὸν πάνθʼ ὅσα προσῆκεν ἐπιτηδεύειν, ζηλώσαντας Εὐρυδίκην, ἥτις Ἰλλυρὶς οὖσα καὶ τριβάρβαρος, ὅμως ἐπὶ τῇ μαθήσει τῶν τέκνων ὀψὲ τῆς ἡλικίας ἥψατο παιδείας.
We must therefore try to practice all that is fitting for the moderation of our children, emulating Eurydice, who, though she was an Illyrian and thrice-barbarian, nevertheless applied herself to education late in life for the sake of her children's instruction.
ἱκανῶς δʼ αὐτῆς τὴν φιλοτεκνίαν σημαίνει τοὐπίγραμμα, ὅπερ ἀνέθηκε Μούσαις
"
Εὐρυδίκη Ἱεραπολιῆτις τόνδʼ ἀνέθηκε
Μούσαις εὔιστον ψυχῇ ἑλοῦσα πόθον.
And the epigram which she dedicated to the Muses sufficiently shows her love for her children: "Eurydice of Hierapolis dedicated this to the Muses, having conceived in her soul a desire well-known.
γράμματα γὰρ μνημεῖα λόγων μήτηρ γεγαυῖα
παίδων ἡβώντων ἐξεπόνησε μαθεῖν. "
τὸ μὲν οὖν πάσας τὰς προειρημένας συμπεριλαβεῖν εὐχῆς ἴσως ἢ παραινέσεως ἔργον ἐστί· τὸ δὲ τὰς πλείους ζηλῶσαι καὶ αὐτὸ μὲν εὐμοιρίας δεόμενόν ἐστι καὶ πολλῆς ἐπιμελείας, ἀνυστὸν δʼ οὖν ἀνθρωπίνῃ φύσει καθέστηκεν.
For, having become a mother of growing children, she labored to learn letters, the monuments of speech." Now, to encompass all the aforesaid precepts is perhaps a matter of prayer or exhortation; but to emulate most of them, though in itself requiring good fortune and much care, is nevertheless established as attainable for human nature.