§746Aliquo abiicienda est, si non pretio at gratiis.
Demea: She must be cast off somewhere, if not for a price, then for nothing.
§747Neque est, neque illam sane studeo vendere.
Micio: There is no need, nor indeed am I eager to sell her.
§748Quid igitur facies?
Demea: What will you do then?
§748bDomi erit.
Micio: She will be at home.
§748cPro Divum fidem!
Demea: By the faith of the Gods!
§749Meretrix et materfamilias una in domo?
A courtesan and a mistress of the house in one home?
§750Cur non?
Micio: Why not?
§750bSanum te credis esse?
Demea: Do you believe you are sane?
§750cEquidem arbitror.
Micio: I certainly think so.
Demea: So may the Gods love me, as I see your folly, I believe you will make it that you have someone to sing with.
§753Cur non?
Micio: Why not?
§753bEt nova nupta eadem haece discet?
Demea: And will the new bride learn these same things?
§753cScilicet.
Micio: To be sure.
§754Tu inter eas restim ductans saltabis.
Demea: You will dance between them, holding hands in a circle.
§754bProbe.
Micio: Perfectly.
§755Probe?
Demea: Perfectly?
§755bEt tu nobiscum una, si opus sit.
Micio: And you with us as well, if there be need.
§755cHei mihi!
Demea: Woe to me!
§756Non te haec pudent?
Are you not ashamed of these things?
§756bIam vero omitte, Demea, §757Tuam istanc iracundiam; atque ita uti decet §758Hilarum ac libentem fac te gnati in nuptiis.
Micio: Now indeed dismiss, Demea, that anger of yours; and as is fitting, make yourself cheerful and pleasant at your son's wedding.
§759Ego hos conveniam: post huc redeo.
I will go meet these people: afterwards I will return here.
§759bO Iupiter!
Demea: O Jupiter!
§760Hancine vitam? hoscine mores? hanc dementiam?
Such a life? Such morals? Such madness?
§761Uxor sine dote veniet; intus psaltria est: §762Domus sumtuosa; adolescens luxu perditus; §763Senex delirans.
A wife will come without a dowry; inside is a music-girl; a house of luxury; a youth ruined by extravagance; a crazy old man.
Ipsa si cupiat Salus §764Servare prorsus non potest hanc familiam.
Even if Salvation herself should wish it, she cannot possibly save this household.
Syrus: By Pollux, Syrus, you have cared for yourself softly, and elegantly conducted your office.
§767Abi.
Go on.
Sed postquam intus sum omnium rerum satur, §768Prodeambulare huc libitum est.
But since inside I am full of all things, I felt like taking a little walk out here.
Quid fit? quid tu es tristis?
What's happening? Why are you sad?
§770bOh scelus.
Demea: Oh, you scoundrel.
§771Ohe, iam tu verba fundis hic, sapientia?
Syrus: Oh, are you pouring out words here, wisdom?
Demea: If you were mine— Syrus: You would indeed be among the gods, Demea, and have secured your fortune.
Demea: —I would have made sure you were an example to everyone.
§774bQuamobrem? quid feci?
Syrus: Why? What did I do?
§774cRogas?
Demea: You ask?
§775In ipsa turba, atque in peccato maximo, §776Quod vix sedatum satis est, potasti scelus, §777Quasi re bene gesta.
In the midst of the confusion, and in the greatest offense, which is scarcely settled, you have been drinking, you scoundrel, as if indeed things were well done.
§777bSane nollem huc exitum.
Syrus: Really, I wish I hadn't come out here.
§778Heus, Syre; rogat te Ctesipho ut redeas.
Dromo: Hey, Syrus; Ctesipho asks you to return.
§778bAbi.
Syrus: Go away.
§779Quid Ctesiphonem hic narrat?
Demea: What is he saying about Ctesipho?
§779bNihil.
Syrus: Nothing.
§780bNon est.
Syrus: He is not.
§780cCur hic nominat?
Demea: Why does he mention him here?
Syrus: There is another, a certain little parasite; do you know him?
§782bIam scibo.
Demea: I shall soon know.
§782cQuid agis? quo abis?
Syrus: What are you doing? Where are you going?
§782dMitte me.
Demea: Let me go.
§783Noli inquam.
Syrus: Don't, I say.
§783bNon manum abstines, mastigia?
Demea: Keep your hands off, whip-rascal!
§784An tibi iam mavis cerebrum dispergi hic?
Or would you rather have your brains scattered here?
§784bAbit.
Syrus: He is gone.
By Pollux, a guest by no means convenient, especially for Ctesipho.
Quid ego nunc agam §787Nisi, dum hae silescunt turbae, interea in angulum §788Aliquo abeam, atque edormiscam hoc villi? Sic agam.
What shall I do now except, while these troubles quiet down, meanwhile into some corner I go, and sleep off this wine? I will do so.
Micio: Things are prepared by us, Sostrata, as I said, whenever you wish.
Quisnam a me pepulit tam graviter fores?
Who knocked so heavily on my door?
§791Hei mihi, quid faciam? quid agam? quid clamem aut querar?
Demea: Woe to me, what shall I do? What shall I act? What shall I cry out or complain of?
§792O coelum, O terra, O maria Neptuni!
O heaven, O earth, O seas of Neptune!
Micio: Look at that: he has found out the whole matter; that is why he cries out now: lawsuits are ready; I must run to help.
Demea: Behold, here is the common ruin of our children.
§796Tandem reprime iracundiam, atque ad te redi.
Micio: Calm your anger at last, and return to yourself.
§797Repressi, redii: mitto maledicta omnia: §798Rem ipsam putemus: dictum hoc inter nos fuit, §799Ex te adeo est ortum, ne tu curares meum, §800Neve ego tuum? responde.
Demea: I have calmed it, I have returned; I dismiss all curses; let us consider the matter itself: this was agreed between us, and indeed it started from you, that you should not care for mine, nor I for yours? Answer me.
§800bFactum est; non nego.
Micio: It was so; I do not deny it.
§801Cur nunc apud te potat? cur recipis meum?
Demea: Why now is he drinking at your house? Why do you welcome mine?
§802Cur emis amicam Micio? Numqui minus
Why do you buy him a mistress, Micio?
§803Mihi idem ius aequum est esse quod mecum est tibi?
Is it any less just that I should have the same right with you as you have with me?
§804Quando ego tuum non euro, ne cura meum.
Since I do not care for yours, do not care for mine.
§805Non aequum dicis; non; nam vetus verbum hoc quidem est; §806Communia esse amicorum inter se omnia.
Micio: You do not speak justly; no; for indeed this is an old saying: all things are common among friends.
§807Facete! nunc demum istaec nata oratio est.
Demea: Witty! Now at last that speech is born.
§808Ausculta paucis, nisi molestum est, Demea.
Micio: Listen to a few words, if it is not troublesome, Demea.
§809Principio, si id te mordet, sumtum filii §810Quem faciunt, quaeso facito haec tecum cogites: §811Tu illos duos olim pro re tollebas tua, §812Quod satis putabas tua bona ambobus fore, §813Et me tum uxorem credidisti, scilicet, §814Ducturum: eandem illam rationem antiquam obtine: §815Conserva, quaere, parce: fac quam plurimum §816Illis relinquas: gloriam tu istam obtine.
First, if the expense of your sons which they make bites you, please make sure you reflect on this with yourself: you once were bringing up those two according to your means, because you thought your own property would be enough for both, and you believed then that I, of course, would marry: keep that same old calculation: save, seek, spare: make sure you leave as much as possible to them: keep that glory of yours.
§817Mea, quae praeter spem evenere, utantur sine.
Let them use my property, which has come beyond expectation.