Timon or The Misanthrope

​Timon How? For since I did not have arms, I was not even registered on the muster-roll. Demeas You speak modestly of yourself, but we should be ungrateful if we were forgetful. And further, by drafting decrees, advising, and serving as general, he has benefited the city in no small way. In view of all these things, be it resolved by the Council, and the People, and the Heliaea, and the tribes, and the demes individually and collectively for all, to set up a golden statue of Timon on the Acropolis next to Athena, holding a thunderbolt in his right hand and rays upon his head, and to crown him with seven golden crowns, and that these crowns be proclaimed today at the Dionysia during the new tragedies—for on his account the Dionysia must be celebrated today. The motion was proposed by Demeas the orator, being his close kinsman and pupil; for Timon is also an excellent orator, and all other things whatsoever he wishes to be.

​Demeas So this is the decree for you. And I wished also to bring my son to you, whom I have named Timon after your name. Timon How, Demeas, since you have not even married, as far as we know? Demeas But I shall marry next year, if god grants, and have children; and the one to be born—for it will be male—I already call Timon. Timon I do not know if you will still desire to marry, my friend, when you receive such a blow from me. Demeas Alas! What is this? Are you aiming at tyranny, Timon, and striking free men when you yourself are not even purely free? But you shall soon pay the penalty, among other things, for having set fire to the Acropolis.

​Timon But the Acropolis has not been set on fire, you wretch! So you are clearly a false accuser. Demeas But you are also rich because you broke into the opisthodomos. Timon Neither has that been broken into, so this story of yours is also incredible. Demeas It will indeed be broken into later; but you already have all that was in it. Timon Then take another blow. Demeas Alas, my back! Timon Do not shout; for I shall bring down a third one upon you. For indeed I should suffer a utterly ridiculous fate if, after cutting to pieces two divisions of Lacedaemonians unarmed, I did not crush one filthy little man; for then in vain would I have won the boxing and wrestling at Olympia.

​Timon But what is this? Is this not Thrasycles the philosopher? Indeed, it is no other. At any rate, spreading out his beard and raising his eyebrows, and muttering some boast to himself, he comes, looking titan-like, with his hair above his forehead tossed back, like some Boreas or Triton, such as Zeuxis painted. This man, so decent in appearance, orderly in his gait, and sober in his attire, who in the morning discourses infinitely about virtue, and accuses those who rejoice in pleasure, and praises frugality, when, after bathing, he arrives at the dinner, and the slave offers him a large cup—and he especially delights in unmixed wine—just as if he had drunk the water of Lethe, he displays behavior entirely contrary to those morning discourses, snatching up the delicacies like a kite, elbowing his neighbor, his beard smeared with sauce, stuffing himself like a dog, bending down as if expecting to find virtue in the dishes, carefully wiping the bowls clean with his forefinger so as not to leave even a little of the garlic-sauce,