Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers

​And he said that the marriages of adulterers are tragic, for they have exile and slaughter as their prize; while those of men who frequent courtesans are comic, for out of extravagance and drunkenness they produce madness. To this man Pasicles was a brother, a pupil of Euclides. Favorinus in the second book of his *Memorabilia* reports a witty thing of his; for he says that when Crates was entreating the gymnasiarch about something, he touched him on the hips; and when the gymnasiarch grew indignant, Crates said: "Why, what is the matter? Are not these yours just as much as your knees?" He used also to say that it is impossible to find a man without fault, but that, just as in a pomegranate, there is always some rotten seed. Having provoked Nicodromus the citharode, he was struck under the eye; so he stuck a tablet on his forehead and inscribed it: "Nicodromus made this."

​He used deliberately to abuse courtesans, training himself against revilings. When Demetrius of Phalerum sent him loaves and wine, he reproached him, saying: "Would that the springs brought forth loaves as well!" It was evident, then, that he was a water-drinker. When reprimanded by the city magistrates at Athens because he wore a fine linen tunic, he said: "I will show you Theophrastus too dressed in fine linen." And when they did not believe him, he led them off to a barber's shop and showed them Theophrastus being shorn. Having been flogged in Thebes by the gymnasiarch—or, as some say, in Corinth by Euthycrates—and being dragged by the foot, he recited unconcernedly: "Seized by the foot, he dragged him through the threshold divine."

​Diocles, however, says that he was dragged by Menedemus of Eretria. For since Menedemus was handsome and was thought to be of service to Asclepiades of Phlius, Crates touched him on the thighs and said: "Asclepiades is inside." Whereupon Menedemus took offence and dragged him, while Crates recited this same verse. Zeno of Citium again, in his *Anecdotes*, says that Crates once even stitched a sheepskin to his coarse cloak, heedless of conventions. He was also ugly in appearance, and was laughed at when exercising. He was accustomed to say, raising his hands: "Take heart, Crates, on behalf of your eyes and the rest of your body;

​for you will see these men who laugh at you already themselves shrivelled by disease, calling you blessed and reproaching themselves for their idleness." He used to say that one should study philosophy until generals appear to be donkey-drivers. He said that those who consort with flatterers are as defenceless as calves when they are with wolves; for neither with the former nor with the latter are there present those who care for them, but rather those who plot against them. Becoming aware that he was dying, he chanted to himself, saying: "You march indeed, dear hunchback, and go to the houses of Hades, bent double with old age." For he was bent double by time.

​When Alexander asked whether he wished his native city to be rebuilt, he said: "What need is there? For perhaps another Alexander will raze it to the ground again." And he said that he had obscurity and poverty as his fatherland, which were unconquerable by fortune, and that he was a fellow citizen of Diogenes, unassailable by envy. Menander also mentions him in the *Twin Sisters* as follows: "For you will walk about with me wearing a coarse cloak, just as his wife once did with Crates the Cynic; and he gave his daughter in marriage, as he said himself, having handed her over on trial for thirty days." His pupils were the following.