Nicomachean Ethics

​But friendship arises less among sour and elderly people, in proportion as they are more difficult and enjoy social intercourse less; for these things seem to be most of all friendly and productive of friendship. Therefore the young indeed become friends quickly, but old people do not; for they do not become friends with those in whom they do not delight; and similarly neither do sour people. But such people are indeed well-wishers to one another; for they wish good things and meet each other’s needs; but they are not really friends because they do not spend their days together or delight in each other, which indeed seem to be most characteristic of friendship. But to be a friend to many in accordance with perfect friendship is not possible, just as it is not possible to love many passionately at the same time (for such a thing seems like an excess, and what is such is naturally directed toward one person); and for the same person to please many people greatly at the same time is not easy, and perhaps not even for them all to be good. And it is necessary also to gain experience and to become intimate, which is very difficult. But on account of utility and pleasure it is possible to please many; for such people are many, and the services are rendered in a short time. And of these, the friendship on account of pleasure seems more like friendship, when the same things come from both and they delight in each other or in the same things, such as the friendships of the young are; for there is more of a liberal character in these. But the friendship on account of utility belongs to mercenary people. And the blessed indeed have no need of useful people, but they do of pleasant ones; for they wish to live with some people, and though they bear what is painful for a short time, no one could endure it continuously, not even the good itself, if it were painful to him; wherefore they seek friends who are pleasant. But perhaps they ought also to be good, being such, and further, good to themselves; for so they will have all that friends should have. But those in positions of authority seem to make use of their friends as divided; for some are useful to them and others pleasant, but both in the same person is not very common; for they do not seek either pleasant friends with virtue or useful ones for noble deeds, but aiming at pleasure they seek witty people, and for doing what is commanded they seek those who are clever, and these things do not very much occur in the same person. But it has been said that the excellent man is both pleasant and useful at the same time; but such a man does not become a friend to a superior unless he is also surpassed in virtue; otherwise, he does not equalize by being surpassed proportionally. But such people do not very often exist. At all events, the friendships that have been mentioned are based on equality; for the same things come from both and they wish the same for each other, or they exchange one thing for another, for instance pleasure for utility. And that these are less truly friendships and remain less, has been said. But they seem, through likeness and unlikeness to the same thing, both to be and not to be friendships. For in respect of likeness to the friendship in accordance with virtue they appear to be friendships (for the one has pleasure and the other utility, and these belong also to that one), but in that the one is secure against slander and lasting, while these quickly change and differ in many other respects, they do not appear to be friendships, through unlikeness to that one.