The Double Indictment or Trials by Jury

​Dike Come now, do not delay, cast your votes, rise; for we must judge others as well. Hermes The Academy wins by all votes except one. Dike Nothing strange; there is someone who sides even with Drunkenness.

​Dike Take your seats, you who have been allotted to judge between the Stoa and Pleasure concerning their lover; the water has been poured. You, the painted gallery, decorated with various colors, speak now.

​Stoa I am not unaware, gentlemen of the jury, that my speech will be against an adversary who is fair of face; indeed, I even see most of you looking towards her and smiling at her, while despising me, because I am cropped to the skin, have a masculine look, and seem sullen. Nevertheless, if you are willing to hear me speak, I am confident that I shall speak much more justly than she. For this indeed is the present accusation: that she, having equipped herself in such a courtesan-like fashion, by the allure of her appearance, having deceived my lover Dionysius, who was at that time temperate, dragged him away to herself; and the judgment which those before you decided for the Academy and Drunkenness is sister to the present case. For in the present case it is being examined whether we ought to live like pigs, bending downwards and taking pleasure, conceiving nothing high-minded, or, having deemed pleasure secondary to what is noble, as free men, to philosophize in a free manner, neither fearing pain as unconquerable nor choosing pleasure like slaves and seeking happiness in honey and dried figs. For by offering such baits to the foolish, and frightening them with labor, she wins over most of them, among whom she has also made that miserable man run away from us, having watched for him when he was ill; for if he had been healthy, he would never have accepted the words from her. And yet, why should I be angry with her, when she does not even spare the gods, but slanders their providence? So that, if you are wise, you would even exact from her a penalty for impiety. And I hear indeed that she herself is not prepared to make her speeches, but will bring up Epicurus to advocate for her; so she treats the court with insolence. Nevertheless, ask her at least those things: what kind of men she thinks Heracles and your Theseus would have become if, having devoted themselves to pleasure, they had fled from labors? For nothing would have prevented the earth from being full of injustice, if those men had not labored. I have said these things, not rejoicing at all in long speeches. But if she should be willing to answer me step by step as she is questioned, she would very quickly be recognized as being nothing. Nevertheless, you at least, remembering your oath, vote now what is in accordance with your oath, not believing Epicurus when he says that the gods do not oversee any of the things happening among us. Dike Step aside. Let Epicurus speak on behalf of Pleasure.