Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers

​And indeed, what else transformed him toward impassivity? Afterward he went over to the teachings of Theodorus, having heard Theodorus the Atheist sophistically treating every kind of discourse; and after him he heard Theophrastus the Peripatetic. He was theatrical and much given to dismantling subjects in a laughable manner, using coarse words against things. It was therefore because he had mingled every style of discourse that they say Eratosthenes remarked of him that Bion was the first to clothe philosophy in flowered robes. For he was also clever at parody; such indeed are also these verses of his: “O tender Archytas, lyre-begotten, puffed with wealth, thou of all men most skilled in the highest strife.”

​And altogether he made sport of both music and geometry. He was extravagant; and on this account he moved from city to city, sometimes even contriving a theatrical display. In Rhodes, at any rate, he persuaded the sailors to put on scholars’ dress and follow him; entering into the gymnasium with them, he was an object of general gaze. He was also accustomed to make adoptions of certain youths, in order to make full use of them both for his pleasures and so as to be guarded by their goodwill; yet he was also exceedingly selfish, and strongly insisted on the maxim, “Friends’ goods are common property.” Wherefore also not a single student is recorded as his disciple, though so many studied with him; and yet he led some on to shamelessness.

​Betion, at any rate, one of his intimates, is said to have remarked once to Menedemus: “For my part, Menedemus, I am bound together with Bion at night, and I do not fancy that I have suffered anything strange.” He also put forward many things rather atheistically to his associates, having derived this from Theodorus. And later, having fallen into disease—as those in Chalcis said, for there he also ended his life—he was persuaded to put on amulets and to repent of his offenses against the divine. And through a lack of those who would nurse him he was in a wretched plight, until Antigonus sent him two servants. And the king himself also followed him in a litter, as Favorinus says in his Miscellaneous History. Yet even so he met his end, and we have reproached him in this way:

“We hear that Bion, whom Borysthenes the Scythian land brought forth, said that the gods are in truth nothing. And if he had remained holding fast to this dogma, it would have been fitting to say: let him think as seems good to him; wrongly indeed, yet so it seemed. Now, however, having fallen into a lingering disease and fearing lest he die, he who said that there are no gods, who would not even look upon a temple,”

“ he who mocked at mortals as many as sacrificed to gods, not only over hearth, altars, and table feasted the nostrils of the gods with steam, fat, and cereal offerings; nor did he merely say, ‘I have sinned, forgive the past’; but he even readily gave his neck to an old woman for incantation, and with firm belief bound his arms with leather straps;”

“ and placed buckthorn and a branch of laurel over his door, ready to submit to anything rather than die. A fool he was, who wanted the divine to exist for a certain fee, as though the gods existed whenever Bion wished to believe in them. Therefore, thinking in vain when all his rheum had turned to cinder, stretching out his hand in some such fashion, he said, ‘Hail, hail, Pluto!’”

​There have been ten men named Bion: the first flourished along with Pherecydes of Syros, of whom two books in Ionic are extant; he was a Proconnesian. The second was a Syracusan, who wrote treatises on rhetoric. The third was this man himself. The fourth was a Democritean and mathematician, of Abdera, who wrote in Attic and Ionic; this man was the first to say that there are certain habitations where the night lasts for six months and the day for six months. The fifth was of Soli, who wrote an Aethiopian History. The sixth was a rhetorician, of whom nine books entitled after the Muses are extant. The seventh was a lyric poet. The eighth was a Milesian sculptor, whom Polemon also mentions. The ninth was a tragic poet of those called Tarsian. The tenth was a statuary of Clazomenae or Chios, whom Hipponax also mentions.