Nicomachean Ethics

​These differ from one another in species; and so therefore do the ways of loving and the friendships. There are then three species of friendship, equal in number to the objects of love; for in each there is a mutual loving that is not unrecognized, and those who love each other wish goods to each other in that respect in which they love. Those, then, who love each other because of utility do not love each other for themselves, but insofar as some good arises to them from each other. And similarly also those who love because of pleasure; for they do not like witty people for being of a certain character, but because they are pleasant to themselves. Those, therefore, who love because of utility cherish because of what is good for themselves, and those who love because of pleasure cherish because of what is pleasant to themselves, and not insofar as the loved one is who he is, but insofar as he is useful or pleasant. And so these friendships are accidental; for the loved one is loved not insofar as he is who he is, but insofar as they provide, some a certain good, others pleasure. Such friendships indeed are easily dissolved when they do not remain similar; for if they are no longer pleasant or useful, they cease loving. And the useful does not remain, but becomes different at different times. Therefore, when that because of which they were friends is removed, the friendship also is dissolved, as the friendship was directed toward those things. Such friendship seems to occur especially among old people (for people of this age do not pursue the pleasant but the beneficial), and among those in their prime and the young who pursue what is advantageous. But such people do not live together very much; for sometimes they are not even pleasant; nor indeed do they need such association unless they are beneficial; for they are pleasant only to the extent that they have hopes of good. And among these they also place guest-friendship. But the friendship of the young seems to be because of pleasure; for these live according to passion, and especially pursue what is pleasant to themselves and what is present; and as age changes, the pleasant things also become different. Therefore, they quickly become friends and cease; for along with the pleasant the friendship changes, and the change of such pleasure is swift. And the young are also amorous; for the greater part of amorous connection is according to passion and because of pleasure; wherefore they love and quickly cease, changing many times in the same day. And these wish to spend their days and live together; for in this way what concerns friendship arises for them. But the perfect friendship is that of good people, and of those who are similar in virtue; for these wish goods similarly to each other insofar as they are good, and they are good in themselves. And those who wish goods to their friends for their sake are most of all friends; for they are in this state of mind because of themselves, and not accidentally; their friendship therefore remains as long as they are good, and virtue is stable. And each is good absolutely and to his friend; for the good are both good absolutely and beneficial to each other. Similarly, they are also pleasant; for the good are both pleasant absolutely and to each other; for to each, his own actions and those of such kind are according to his pleasure, and the actions of the good are the same or similar. And such friendship is reasonably stable; for it joins in itself all things that ought to belong to friends. For all friendship is because of good or because of pleasure, either absolutely or for the one loving, and according to a certain similarity; and in this friendship all the mentioned things belong in themselves; †for in this they are similar† and the other things, both the absolutely good and the absolutely pleasant are there, and these are most of all lovable; and indeed loving and friendship are most of all and best in these. But it is likely that such friendships are rare; for such people are few. And further, it requires time and intimacy; for according to the proverb, it is not possible to know each other before consuming together the proverbially mentioned salt; nor indeed to accept each other or to be friends before each appears lovable and is trusted by each. And those who quickly perform friendly offices toward each other wish to be friends, but are not, unless they are also lovable and know this; for the wish for friendship arises quickly, but friendship does not.