Saturnalia

​For seeing me gloomy, walking in deep thought—as was natural for a god—he immediately knew what the cause of my grief was, and how I was vexed by my poverty, wearing only a single tunic out of season; for indeed there was cold and a strong north wind, ice and snow, and I was least protected against them; but also because, with the festival very near, I saw others preparing to sacrifice and feast, while for myself there was nothing at all festive. And indeed coming up behind and taking hold of my ear and shaking it, as he is accustomed to approach me, he said, “What is this, Cronosolon? You seem to be grieved.” “Is it not indeed fitting, master,” I said, “when I see accursed and polluted men exceedingly rich and alone living delicately, while I myself and many others of the educated dwell in poverty and helplessness? Will you not indeed, master, stop these things and reorder them toward an equal share?” “The other things,” he said, “which you suffer from Clotho and the other Fates are not easy to change, but as for the things of the festival, I will remedy your poverty. And let the remedy be this: go, Cronosolon, and write down some laws for me, what must be done during the festival, so that the rich may not celebrate the festival by themselves, but may share their goods with you.” “But I do not know how,” I said. “I,” he said, “will teach you”; and then, having begun, he taught me.

​Then when I understood everything, “And tell them,” he said, “that if they do not do this, I do not carry this sharp sickle in vain; otherwise I should be ridiculous, having castrated my father Uranus, if I did not eunuchize the rich, as many as transgress the law, so that they might become begging priests collecting alms for the Mother with flutes and tympana.” These things he threatened. So it is well for you not to transgress the ordinances.

​1. FIRST LAWS No one shall do any business, either public or private, during the festival, except what pertains to play, luxury, and delight; let only cooks and pastry-makers be active. Let there be equal status for all, both slaves and free, poor and rich. Let it not be permitted for anyone to be angry, or to be indignant, or to threaten. Let it not be permitted either to demand accounts from those managing the Cronian festival. Let no one examine or record money or clothing during the festival, nor let anyone practice athletic exercises during the Cronian festival, nor practice or display speeches, unless they are witty and cheerful, showing jest and play.

​2. SECOND LAWS Long before the festival, let the rich write down the name of each of their friends in a tablet, and let them also have ready money amounting to one-tenth of their annual income, and excess clothing of what they have, of a thicker quality than is according to their own standard, and not a few silver vessels. Let these be ready at hand. On the day before the festival, let a certain purification be carried around, and let meanness, love of money, greed, and all other such things that cohabit with most of them be driven out of the house by them. And when they have made the house clean, let them sacrifice to Zeus the giver of wealth, Hermes the giver, and Apollo the generous giver. Then around late afternoon, let that friendly tablet be read to them.