The Double Indictment or Trials by Jury

​Justice Dialogue, speak before the same jury. And you [gentlemen of the jury], remain, as you will receive double pay for both lawsuits. Dialogue And I, gentlemen of the jury, would not have wished to stretch out long speeches to you, but rather in a brief manner, just as I am accustomed to. Nevertheless, since it is the law in the courts, I will make my accusation in this way, though I am altogether a layman and unskilled in such matters; and let this be my introduction to you. And the things in which I have been wronged and insulted by this man are these: namely, that although I was formerly solemn and concerned with the gods, nature, and the revolution of the whole, walking on air high up above the clouds, where great Zeus in heaven is carried driving his winged chariot, he dragged me down when I was already flying along the vault and ascending above the back of heaven, and having shattered my wings, he made me share the same way of life as the crowd. He stripped off that tragic and sober mask of mine, and put another, comic and satyric, and almost ridiculous, mask on me. Then, bringing me to the same place, he shut me up with mockery, iambus, Cynicism, Eupolis, and Aristophanes—men clever at mocking solemn things and scoffing at what is right. Finally, having dug up a certain Menippus, one of the old dogs, who was very barky and sharp-toothed as it seems, he introduced him to me, a truly fearsome dog and one whose bite is secret, inasmuch as he bit while laughing at the same time. How, then, have I not been terribly insulted, no longer being situated in my own character, but acting in comedies, playing the buffoon, and performing strange plots for him? For, what is most absurd of all, I have been mixed into a certain paradoxical mixture, and I am neither on foot [prose] nor have I stepped on meters [verse], but like a hippocentaur, I seem to my hearers to be a composite and strange phantom.

​Hermes What, then, will you say to these things, O Syrian? The Syrian Unexpectedly, gentlemen of the jury, do I contest this suit before you. Indeed, I would have expected anything rather than that Dialogue would say such things about me. I received him when he still seemed gloomy to the multitude and was shriveled by constant questionings, and in this respect seemed venerable, but not altogether pleasant nor agreeable to the crowds. First of all, I accustomed him to walk on earth in this human fashion; and having washed away his great dryness and forced him to smile, I made him more pleasant to those who look upon him. Above all, I yoked comedy to him, and by this means contrived much goodwill for him from the hearers, who previously, fearing the thorns in him, were on their guard against taking him into their hands, just like a hedgehog. But I know what vexes him most: that I do not sit with him haggling over those sticky and subtle matters, such as whether the soul is immortal, and how many kotylai of the unmixed and self-same essence God poured into the mixing-bowl in which all things were mixed when he fashioned the universe, and whether Rhetoric is an image of a part of politics, the fourth part of flattery. For he rejoices, I know not how, in splitting hairs over such things, just like those who gladly scratch an itch; and his contemplation seems sweet to him, and he is very proud if it is said that it is not for every man to understand what he sees so sharply concerning the Ideas. These are the things he demands from me, and he seeks those wings of his, and looks upward, not seeing what is before his feet. For on account of other things, I do not think he would find fault with me, as if I had stripped off this Greek cloak of his and put a barbarian garment on him, and that too though I am thought to be a barbarian myself. For I would be doing wrong by acting unlawfully against him and stealing his ancestral clothing. I have defended myself as best as I could. And you, cast your vote similar to the former one.

​Hermes Wow! You win by ten whole votes. For that same one from before is not of the same vote even now. Of course, this is his habit, and he brings the perforated vote to everyone, and may he never cease envying the best. But you, go with good fortune, and tomorrow we shall judge the remaining cases.