Icaromenippus or The Sky-man

​Menippus “And yet, how many shameful and abominable things do I witness them doing at night—those who by day are sullen-faced, manly in look, solemn in posture, and gazed up to by ordinary citizens! And I, seeing these things, nevertheless keep silent; for I do not think it proper to reveal and expose those nightly pastimes and the off-stage life of each of them. Rather, even if I see any of them committing adultery, or stealing, or daring any other most nightly deed, I immediately draw a cloud over myself and cover myself, so that I may not show to the crowd elderly men with deep beards behaving disgracefully with respect to virtue. But they do not relax at all in tearing me apart in their discourse and insulting me in every way, so that, by Night, I have often resolved to emigrate as far away as possible, so that I might have escaped their meddlesome tongue. Remember, therefore, to report these things to Zeus, and to add that it is not possible for me to remain in my place unless he crushes those natural philosophers, muzzles the logicians, razes the Stoa, burns down the Academy, and puts an end to the discussions in the Peripatos; for only thus might I lead a peaceful life and cease being measured geometrically every day by them.”

​Menippus “It shall be done,” said I, and at the same time I strained upward toward the steep path to heaven, where neither works of oxen nor of men appeared; for after a little while even the moon was seen by me as small, and it was already hiding the earth. Keeping the sun on my right, flying through the stars, on the third day I approached heaven. And at first I thought of entering straight inside just as I was; for I thought I would easily escape notice since I was half an eagle, and I knew that from of old the eagle was familiar to Zeus. But later I reflected that they would very quickly detect me wearing the other wing of a vulture. Judging it best, therefore, not to run the risk, I went up and knocked at the door. Having answered and inquired my name, Hermes went away in haste to tell Zeus, and after a little I was called in, very afraid and trembling. And I found them all sitting together, not free from anxiety themselves either; for the unexpectedness of my arrival disturbed them quietly, and they expected that any moment all men would arrive feathered in the same manner.

​Menippus And Zeus, looking at me very terribly, with a sharp and titanic glare, said: “Who and from where among men are you? Where is your city and your parents?” And when I heard this, I almost died of fear, but nevertheless I stood gaping and thunderstruck by his loud voice. But recovering myself in time, I narrated everything clearly, starting from the beginning—how I had desired to learn about the things aloft, how I had gone to the philosophers, how I had heard them saying contradictory things, how I had grown exhausted being pulled apart by their arguments, then next my plan and the wings and all the rest up to heaven; and on top of everything I added the messages sent by the Moon. Smiling then, and relaxing his eyebrows a little, “What would one say,” he said, “about Otus and Ephialtes, where even Menippus has dared to ascend to heaven? But for now we invite you to hospitality, and tomorrow,” he said, “having dealt with the matters for which you have come, we shall send you back.” And at the same time, rising, he walked to the place of heaven where he could hear best; for it was time to sit for the prayers.