Arrival in Heaven and Hermes's News of the Gods — Aristophanes, Peace, lines 167–247, Greek & English

167

κἀπιφορήσεις τῆς γῆς πολλήν,

and will you heap plenty of earth upon it,

κἀπιφυτεύσεις ἕρπυλλον ἄνω

and plant wild thyme on top,

καὶ μύρον ἐπιχεῖς; ὡς ἤν τι πεσὼν

and pour perfume on it? For if I fall from here and

170

ἐνθένδε πάθω, τοὐμοῦ θανάτου

meet my end, for my death

πέντε τάλανθʼ ἡ πόλις ἡ Χίων

the city of Chios will have to pay five talents,

διὰ τὸν σὸν πρωκτὸν¹ ὀφλήσει.

all on account of your arsehole.

οἴμʼ ὡς δέδοικα, κοὐκέτι σκώπτων λέγω.

Ah, how I fear! I am no longer speaking in jest.

ὦ μηχανοποιὲ πρόσεχε τὸν νοῦν ὡς ἐμέ·

O stage-machinist, pay attention to me!

175

ἤδη στρέφει τι πνεῦμα περὶ τὸν ὀμφαλόν,

Already a certain wind is turning about my navel,

κεἰ μὴ φυλάξει, χορτάσω τὸν κάνθαρον.

and unless you take care, I shall feed the beetle.

ἀτὰρ ἐγγὺς εἶναι τῶν θεῶν ἐμοὶ δοκῶ,

But indeed, I seem to myself to be near the gods,

καὶ δὴ καθορῶ τὴν οἰκίαν τὴν τοῦ Διός.

and lo, I see the house of Zeus.

τίς ἐν Διὸς θύραισιν; οὐκ ἀνοίξετε;

Who is at Zeus’s door? Will you not open?

180

πόθεν βροτοῦ με προσέβαλʼ; ὦναξ Ἡράκλεις

Hermes: Whence did the smell of a mortal strike me? O Lord Heracles,

τουτὶ τί ἐστι τὸ κακόν;

what on earth is this monster?

ἱπποκάνθαρος.

Trygaeus: A horse-beetle.

ὦ βδελυρὲ καὶ τολμηρὲ κἀναίσχυντε σὺ

Hermes: O abominable, daring, and shameless scoundrel,

καὶ μιαρὲ καὶ παμμίαρε καὶ μιαρώτατε,

and filthy, utterly filthy, and filthiest of the filthy,

πῶς δεῦρʼ ἀνῆλθες ὦ μιαρῶν μιαρώτατε;

how did you ascend here, O filthiest of the filthy?

185

τί σοί ποτʼ ἔστʼ ὄνομʼ; οὐκ ἐρεῖς;

What on earth is your name? Won’t you say?

μιαρώτατος.

Trygaeus: Filthiest.

ποδαπὸς τὸ γένος δʼ εἶ; φράζε μοι.

Hermes: What country are you from by birth? Tell me.

μιαρώτατος.

Trygaeus: Filthiest.

πατὴρ δέ σοι τίς ἐστʼ;

Hermes: And who is your father?

ἐμοί; μιαρώτατος.

Trygaeus: Mine? Filthiest.

οὔτοι μὰ τὴν γῆν ἔσθʼ ὅπως οὐκ ἀποθανεῖ,²

Hermes: By the Earth, there is no way you shall not die,

εἰ μὴ κατερεῖς μοι τοὔνομʼ ὅ τι ποτʼ ἔστι σοι.

unless you tell me what your name is.

190

Τρυγαῖος Ἀθμονεύς, ἀμπελουργὸς δεξιός,

Trygaeus: Trygaeus of Athmonum, a skilled vine-dresser,

οὐ συκοφάντης οὐδʼ ἐραστὴς πραγμάτων.

no informer, nor a lover of lawsuits.

ἥκεις δὲ κατὰ τί;

Hermes: And what have you come for?

τὰ κρέα ταυτί σοι φέρων.

Trygaeus: Bringing this meat to you.

ὦ δειλακρίων πῶς ἦλθες;b ὦ γλίσχρων ὁρᾷς

Hermes: O dear little man, how did you come? Trygaeus: O greedy one, do you see

ὡς οὐκέτʼ εἶναί σοι δοκῶ μιαρώτατος;

how I no longer seem to you to be the filthiest?

195

ἴθι νυν κάλεσόν μοι τὸν Δίʼ.

Go now, call Zeus for me.

ἰὴ ἰὴ ἰή,

Hermes: Oh, oh, oh!

ὅτι οὐδὲ μέλλεις ἐγγὺς εἶναι τῶν θεῶν·

For you are not even about to be near the gods;

φροῦδοι γὰρ ἐχθές εἰσιν ἐξῳκισμένοι.

for they moved out and left yesterday.

ποῖ γῆς;

Trygaeus: Where on earth?

ἰδοὺ γῆς.

Hermes: ‘Where on earth’, indeed!

ἀλλὰ ποῖ;

Trygaeus: But where?

πόρρω πάνυ;

Hermes: Very far away,

ὑπʼ αὐτὸν ἀτεχνῶς τοὐρανοῦ τὸν κύτταρον.

right under the very vault of heaven.

200

πῶς οὖν σὺ δῆτʼ ἐνταῦθα κατελείφθης μόνος;

Trygaeus: How then indeed were you left behind here alone?

τὰ λοιπὰ τηρῶ σκευάρια τὰ τῶν θεῶν,

Hermes: I am guarding the remaining little utensils of the gods,

χυτρίδια καὶ σανίδια κἀμφορείδια.

the little pots, and little tablets, and little amphorae.

ἐξῳκίσαντο δʼ οἱ θεοὶ τίνος οὕνεκα;

Trygaeus: And for what reason did the gods move out?

Ἕλλησιν ὀργισθέντες. εἶτʼ ἐνταῦθα μὲν

Hermes: Because they were angry with the Greeks. And so, here in the place where

205

ἵνʼ ἦσαν αὐτοὶ τὸν Πόλεμον κατῴκισαν,

they themselves used to be, they settled War,

ὑμᾶς παραδόντες δρᾶν ἀτεχνῶς ὅ τι βούλεται·

handing you over to do exactly what he wishes;

αὐτοὶ δʼ ἀνῳκίσανθʼ ὅπως ἀνωτάτω,

and they themselves moved as high up as possible,

ἵνα μὴ βλέποιεν μαχομένους ὑμᾶς ἔτι

so that they might no longer see you fighting,

μηδʼ ἀντιβολούντων μηδὲν αἰσθανοίατο.

nor hear anything of your supplications.

210

τοῦ δʼ οὕνεχʼ ἡμᾶς ταῦτʼ ἔδρασαν; εἰπέ μοι.

Trygaeus: And for what reason did they do this to us? Tell me.

ὁτιὴ πολεμεῖν ᾑρεῖσθʼ ἐκείνων πολλάκις

Hermes: Because you chose to wage war when they often offered peace;

σπονδὰς ποιούντων· κεἰ μὲν οἱ Λακωνικοὶ

and if the Laconians

ὑπερβάλοιντο μικρόν, ἔλεγον ἂν ταδί·³

got slightly the upper hand, they would say this:

ναὶ τὼ σιὼ νῦν ὡττικίων δωσεῖ δίκαν.

’By the twin gods, now the Attic youngsters shall pay the penalty.’

215

εἰ δʼ αὖ τι πράξαιτʼ ἀγαθὸν ἁττικωνικοί

And if again the Athenians did some good thing,

κἄλθοιεν οἱ Λάκωνες εἰρήνης πέρι,

and the Laconians came concerning peace,

ἐλέγετʼ ἂν ὑμεῖς εὐθύς· ἐξαπατώμεθα

you would say at once: ‘We are being deceived,

νὴ τὴν Ἀθηνᾶν, νὴ Δίʼ, οὐχὶ πειστέον·

by Athena, by Zeus, we must not agree!

ἥξουσι καὖθις, ἢν ἔχωμεν τὴν Πύλον. ’

They will come again, as long as we hold Pylos.’

220

ὁ γοῦν χαρακτὴρ ἡμεδαπὸς τῶν ῥημάτων.

Trygaeus: Indeed, the style of the words is exactly our own.

ὧν οὕνεκʼ οὐκ οἶδʼ εἴ ποτʼ Εἰρήνην ἔτι

Hermes: For which reason I do not know if you will ever see Peace

τὸ λοιπὸν ὄψεσθʼ.

again in the future.

ἀλλὰ ποῖ γὰρ οἴχεται;

Trygaeus: But where indeed has she gone?

ὁ Πόλεμος αὐτὴν ἐνέβαλʼ εἰς ἄντρον βαθύ.

Hermes: War threw her into a deep cave.

ἐς ποῖον;

Trygaeus: Into what sort of cave?

ἐς τουτὶ τὸ κάτω, κἄπειθʼ ὁρᾷς

Hermes: Into this one down here. And then, you see

225

ὅσους ἄνωθεν ἐπεφόρησε τῶν λίθων,

how many stones he piled on top of it,

ἵνα μὴ λάβητε μηδέποτʼ αὐτήν.

so that you may never get her back.

εἰπέ μοι,

Trygaeus: Tell me,

ἡμᾶς δὲ δὴ τί δρᾶν παρασκευάζεται;

what indeed is he preparing to do to us?

οὐκ οἶδα πλὴν ἕν, ὅτι θυείαν ἑσπέρας

Hermes: I know nothing except one thing: that last evening

ὑπερφυᾶ τὸ μέγεθος εἰσηνέγκατο.

he brought in a mortar of monstrous size.

230

τί δῆτα ταύτῃ τῇ θυείᾳ χρήσεται;

Trygaeus: What then will he do with this mortar?

τρίβειν ἐν αὐτῇ τὰς πόλεις βουλεύεται.

Hermes: He plans to grind up the cities in it.

ἀλλʼ εἶμι· καὶ γὰρ ἐξιέναι γνώμην ἐμὴν

But I am off. For indeed, in my opinion, he is about

μέλλει· θορυβεῖ γοῦν ἔνδον.

to come out; at any rate, there is a noise inside.

οἴμοι δείλαιος.

Trygaeus: Oh, poor me!

φέρʼ αὐτὸν ἀποδρῶ· καὶ γὰρ ὥσπερ ᾐσθόμην

Come, let me run away from him! For indeed, I too seemed to hear

235

καὐτὸς θυείας φθέγμα πολεμιστηρίας.

the sound of a warlike mortar.

ἰὼ βροτοὶ βροτοὶ βροτοὶ πολυτλήμονες,

War: O mortals, mortals, long-suffering mortals,

ὡς αὐτίκα μάλα τὰς γνάθους ἀλγήσετε.

how very soon you shall suffer pain in your jaws!

ὦναξ Ἄπολλον τῆς θυείας τοῦ πλάτους,

Trygaeus: O Lord Apollo, what a giant mortar!

ὅσον κακόν, καὶ τοῦ Πολέμου τοῦ βλέμματος.

What a great evil, and what a look from War!

240

ἆρʼ οὗτός ἐστʼ ἐκεῖνος ὃν καὶ φεύγομεν,

Is this that very one from whom we flee,

ὁ δεινός, ὁ ταλαύρινος, ὁ κατὰ τοῖν σκελοῖν;

the terrible, the tough-skinned, the one who brings us to our knees?

ἰὼ Πρασιαὶ τρὶς ἄθλιαι καὶ πεντάκις

War: O Prasiae, thrice wretched, and five times,

καὶ πολλοδεκάκις, ὡς ἀπολεῖσθε τήμερον.

and many tens of times wretched, how you shall be destroyed today!

τουτὶ μὲν ἄνδρες οὐδὲν ἡμῖν πρᾶγμά πω·

Trygaeus: Citizens, this is still no concern of ours;

245

τὸ γὰρ κακὸν τοῦτʼ ἐστὶ τῆς Λακωνικῆς.

for this evil belongs to Laconia.

ὦ Μέγαρα Μέγαρʼ ὡς ἐπιτετρίψεσθʼ αὐτίκα

War: O Megara, Megara, how you shall be instantly crushed,

ἁπαξάπαντα καταμεμυττωτευμένα.

and ground to pieces altogether like a garlic sauce!

Syntax notes3 items

172διὰ τὸν σὸν πρωκτὸν
The preposition διὰ with the accusative indicates cause ('because of' or 'on account of'). Trygaeus humorously blames the spectator's physical act of defecating below for potentially causing his fall and death.
188οὔτοι μὰ τὴν γῆν ἔσθʼ ὅπως οὐκ ἀποθανεῖ
The construction ἔσθʼ ὅπως οὐκ followed by the future indicative expresses absolute certainty ('it is impossible that you will not...'). Combined with ἀποθανεῖ (the second-person singular future of ἀποθνῄσκω), it forms an emphatic threat: 'you shall absolutely die'.
213ἔλεγον ἂν ταδί
The past indicative (imperfect ἔλεγον) with the particle ἄν expresses a habitual or repeated action in the past ('they would say'). This apodosis corresponds to the conditional clause in the optative (εἰ ... ὑπερβάλοιντο) in line 212, illustrating a recurring situation.

Translated by Gemini 3.5 Flash (published 2026-05-22)urn:cts:greekLit:tlg0019.tlg005.humanitext-grc2:167-247